Valerie Hilgenfeldt

Final Fantasy XI literally sickens the dedicated.

To their credit, Square-Enix has introduced a lot of easy-to-access content for FFXI’s users. Their recent Wings of the Goddess expansion introduced a “Campaign Battle” system, which lets players gain healthy amounts of Experience Points in fifteen to forty minute bursts. It works for people who are oft on-the-go and can’t waste more than an hour or so on an MMO, yet doesn’t detract from FFXI’s difficulty level so much as to make it the next WoW. (Perhaps it would be the “first WoW” since it’s the elder of the two, but that’s beside the point.)

In a complete contradiction of this and other convenient additions, Square-Enix has created bosses like the Pandemonium Warden, which is virtually impossible to kill. The reason? It takes an unreasonably long period of time, which seemingly clocks in at over twenty hours, considering that those who tried fought it for eighteen hours before they began losing their lunch and passing out. Evidently, the linkshell — that’s the equivalent of a guild, folks — did have more than enough people to kill the beast. They simply weren’t MMO-obsessed tag teams who were “up to the task,” according to a lot of commentators.

You see, the “hardcore crowd’s” comments make perfect sense. Final Fantasy XI is supposed to be tougher than World of Warcraft according to some unwritten rule, so to prove the size of its penis, a battle with irritating length was introduced. Because your virtual size equals your power over the internet, Square-Enix can only be defended in this case, except they can’t. Expecting people to lock fellow Final Fantasy XI players into a room for tag-teaming with them, potentially for days at a time, is asinine. It’s challenging people to call in sick, to ignore their children and lovers, and to perfectly fit the image of every far-gone MMO geek that normal people wish to burn at the stake.

For those who think this is normal or acceptable, take note of labor laws, which exist in most countries these days. You won’t be permitted to work that long at a normal job, and when exceptions are made, you have the right to be paid serious dollars for your efforts. In this case, not only are you receiving no proper breaks or lunch hours, but you are paying other people for providing your service. Do you still think it’s right?

If you do, I welcome you to ask a friend to punch you in the stomach until you puke. At least then you’ll have recreated the wonders of the experience without wasting your virtual time on it.