A world unlike any you've ever known! Matt Spencer (Jeff Speakman), a workaholic attorney and single father, is struggling to raise his three rebellious teenagers in the wake of his wife walking out on him. Chris Spencer (Breck Wilson), Matt's eldest son, is a handsome, over-achieving, straight-laced 18-year-old who is angry with his father about the divorce, even though his mother is the one who left. Daughter Claudia (Mercedes McNab) is a typical 16-year-old mall rat with too much time on her hands and the good looks that usually spell trouble. Youngest son Adam (Justin Burnette) is a hip 13-year-old with a big mouth and a smart-alec attitude to go along with it. In an attempt to bring his family together again, Matt charters a sailboat for a 10-day surprise cruise to the Bahamas. The kids, selfishly un-excited about the trip, try to talk their father out of it, but he is steadfast in his determination to spend some quality family time together. Upon landing in Florida, the Spencers arrive at the dock to board the Wind Dancer, a beautiful 90-foot sailboat that, according to the brochure, perfectly combines "performance sailing and luxury living." Not quite! It turns out to be a rundown, yet still seaworthy schooner, complete with mildewy sails and a hull that is in desperate need of a paint job. The ship's captain, Liam Gallagher (Tim Thomerson), is a salty, bedraggled man who drinks too much and seems to be in worse shape than his vessel. Not one to be deterred, Matt, having been convinced the Wind Dancer has passed a recent safety inspection, sets off with his family on a bigger adventure than any of them had planned.
I saw the latter half of this today, and by gummit, it was a sight to behold. Not only was there poor acting, but... well, there was poor acting. A lot of it. It oozed Community College film program, but it... wasn't.
It had everything anybody could want from a movie: bad actors, jailbait, horrible fight scenes, attempted humor, and attmepted... movie.
Hell, there was one scene where the main character encountered a demon pretending to be his wife. When he figured it out, it turned into this Harry and the Hendersons reject Power Rangers intro style and proceeded to wildly flail its arms while screaming, "BRARRRR! BRARR!!!" He did this while walking forward like his shoelaces were tied together and the main character backed away from him and the camera shook like mad. That, my friends, is a fight scene.
However, according to Amazon, it's not all bad. Here's a review from a supposed parent with supposed bad eyesight:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Magoo
Reviewer: A viewer (MANSFIELD, OH USA)
THIS IS A VERY GOOD MOVIE IF YOU HAVE AN IMAGINATION. SOME PARTS ARE VERY FAR FETCHED, BUT HAS A GOOD PLOT. I THOUGHT THERE COULD HAVE BEEN A LITTLE MORE KENPO MARTIAL ARTS IN IT, BUT IF THAT'S NOT REALY YOUR THING THAN SPEAKMAN PLAYS A GREAT PART. THIS IS A GOOD FAMILY NIGHT MOVIE FOR CHILDREN ABOVE 9, AND THERE AREN'T THAT MANY BAD WORDS OTHER THAN WHAT YOU WOULD HERE IN A WEEKLY SITCOM. I BELIVE SPEAKMAN IS THE BEST ACTOR OUT THERE, BUT WAS A LITTLE AFRAID OF THE MOVIE AFTER READING THE BOX, BUT AFTER WATHCING FOR A FEW MINUTES I FELL RIGHT INTO THE MOVIE. ALL IN ALL THIS IS A GOOD MOVIE FOR JUST ABOUT ANYONE WITH IMAGINATION.
It's nearly as bad as Navy Seals II, a movie where every motion, from a head turning to a handshake to a flurry of kicks, needed, NAY, REQUIRED a whooshing sound effect.
I reccomend it.
WE HAVE A THREAD FOR RECENTLY VIEWED MOVIES YOU WISH TO TALK ABOUT, USE IT
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by rezo
Once, a gang of fat girls threatened to beat me up for not cottoning to their advances. As they explained it to me: "guys can usually beat up girls, but we are all fat, and there are a lot of us."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drewbacca
I would love nothing more than to rape g0zen and Firstblood.
Fuck that stupid conglomerated mass of a thread. This is a forum whose purpose is to post threads about specific movies. You do not see anybody doing this in the games forum. Why? Cause it is a shitty shitty idea.
Fuck that stupid conglomerated mass of a thread. This is a forum whose purpose is to post threads about specific movies. You do not see anybody doing this in the games forum. Why? Cause it is a shitty shitty idea.
It's an awesome idea so we that don't shit on good forums with 2 line reviews of movies nobody really cares about. But that's what you're all about.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by rezo
Once, a gang of fat girls threatened to beat me up for not cottoning to their advances. As they explained it to me: "guys can usually beat up girls, but we are all fat, and there are a lot of us."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drewbacca
I would love nothing more than to rape g0zen and Firstblood.
It's an awesome idea so we that don't shit on good forums with 2 line reviews of movies nobody really cares about. But that's what you're all about.
I am. The first post does not need to be the bulk of a thread. 2 sentences can be pleanty enough to spur a quality discussion and is usually pretty open ended and can go anywhere. Not that has any relavance since this thread does not appear to be any semblance of a 2 line review thread. Your thread is just an oppurtuinity to waste my time talking about a movie that will likely get no notice or responce. That is not what people write these things for.
edit: Also, not like this forum has a lot of threads in it of any particular legnth. I mean, it isnt exactly a busy place.
edit2: By your system I think that threads about unreleased movies should also not get their own threads. Lets just make this a 2 thread forum. 1 can be called "Movies I have seen" and the other can be "Movies I have not seen".
I am. The first post does not need to be the bulk of a thread. 2 sentences can be pleanty enough to spur a quality discussion and is usually pretty open ended and can go anywhere. Not that has any relavance since this thread does not appear to be any semblance of a 2 line review thread. Your thread is just an oppurtuinity to waste my time talking about a movie that will likely get no notice or responce. That is not what people write these things for.
edit: Also, not like this forum has a lot of threads in it of any particular legnth. I mean, it isnt exactly a busy place.
Sounds like a job for a personality.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by rezo
Once, a gang of fat girls threatened to beat me up for not cottoning to their advances. As they explained it to me: "guys can usually beat up girls, but we are all fat, and there are a lot of us."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drewbacca
I would love nothing more than to rape g0zen and Firstblood.
I shit on this two-line review of Mman's post, neither of which anyone cares about!
I was going for irony
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by rezo
Once, a gang of fat girls threatened to beat me up for not cottoning to their advances. As they explained it to me: "guys can usually beat up girls, but we are all fat, and there are a lot of us."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drewbacca
I would love nothing more than to rape g0zen and Firstblood.
