The Mushroom, October 29, 2004
Bringing the month to a close with another dose of video game satire.
Article by Long (Email)
October 29th 2004, 10:44PM
Loud gamer annoys neurotic gamer with pedantic game discussion
NEW YORK, NY – As he waited in line to trade in three games for an Ingmar Bergman film DVD, Issac Davis became annoyed while overhearing another gamer, Paul Mazurk, talking loudly to his date about how gameplay and game mechanics should be defined as ‘intellectual playability’ and how Beatmania and Dragon’s Lair are, by his definition, unplayable.
“I don’t know if I can enjoy a game if there’s someone out there who’s dissecting it like a frog,” Davis said to his girlfriend who was also waiting in line, “Listen to this guy. Just knowing that someone’s talking about a game in a cultural fashion ruins my evening. Their first date, I bet, probably having met through a personal in The Onion or some elitist message board. ‘Appreciates foreign films, Squaresoft, and cramming the two together. Must enjoy glossy words pasted over stupid ideas.’”
p align="justify">Completely frustrated by the time Mazurk claimed Fumito Ueda had inserted several sociopolitical undertones into ICO, Davis pulled over Ueda who was standing a few feet away and Ueda stated that Mazurk was completely out of his mind and had no right to play his game.
Today’s youth not hip to old pop culture
FRUMPTON, USA – Ball paddles, maze-running ghosts, and space invading aliens aren’t exactly the first things that come to kids’ minds when you mention video games. And neither are they second, third, or fourth. According to a survey taken at several schools in Frumpton, students are too busy with their blast processing and smooth scaling objects to catch-up on their vintage game history.
“I’m busy enough with my video games and social life as it is,” middle school student Willy Beamish said, “I have my Nintari and that’s good enough for me.”