Because Dr. Claw demanded it...

THE RETURN OF RIISUKE'S RETRIBUTION

(mild applause, followed with apathetic cheering)

*Ahem*

Anyway, it's been a while since I've done one of these thingies. I dunno why. Guess I just didn't have anything to say for a bit, but now that's all changed because by god if there's one thing that gets my opinion going it's sitting on a huge festering load of raw unbridled HATRED AND ANGER.

But instead of unloading my issues onto all y'all, I thought I'd share some sunshinel because hey...nobody likes a bitch, am I right? Right on. So this week today we're gonna take a look at:

RIISUKE'S FAVORITE WEB COMICS

First up is the obvious choice, and everybody's perennial favorite: Penny Arcade. Tycho and Gabe having been causing chaos on the web for as long as I care to remember, and PA is still probably my favorite comic. Dynamite Humor, Excellent Artwork, and more wang than you can shake a wang at. Riisuke is certainly impressed and gives it a glistening A+

Next up is Megatokyo. A good way to describe MT might be as an anime-oriented version of Penny Arcade. Then again that might not be totally accurate, seeing as people just don't seem to die as much in Megatokyo. Not that that's a major discredit to it, however, and it's still one of the snazzier strips out there. I give Megatokyo a B.

Probably one of the OLDEST online comics around, and still one of the best, is Sluggy Freelance. Kenshin turned me onto this strip, and while it doesn't have the best jokes and it's kind of slow starting, once you hit some of the better story arcs it's almost as good as any comic you could find out there on the shelf. Except Ultimate Spider Man. NOTHING is better than Ultimate Spider Man. Except Deadpool in it's prime, (the era that Joe Kelly handled the stories). But I digress...Sluggy gets an -A. Expect the grade to raise if Gwynn sticks around, as I find her to be the single hottest demonically possessed chick in existence. Rowrrr.

The next choice is probably the most mild (in terms of you know...insanity) title on this list: Player vs. Player. The artist who draws this, Scott Kurtz, is a real standup guy, and I even threatened his life once! (Editor's Note: Riisuke seems to do this often...scary ne?) It's got lots of good humor, and an interesting cast of characters, especially that Francis kid. He reminds me a lot of me, only not half as good looking or violent.

I always thought that the original Final Fantasy title was the most useless game in the entire series (next to 8, anyway). However, one stop at 8-Bit Theatre changed my mind. Fast on it's way to becoming one of my favorites, this strip is arguably the greatest Final Fantasy game of all time. What happens when a giant gets hit with a fireball? Hit the friggin' link and find out.

The Life of Wily does everything that 8 Bit Theatre did with FF1, but based upon Megaman 7; not up to the same standard as FF1 but it's still pretty funny; thus proving my point that Protoman is the GREATEST MEGAMAN CHARACTER EVER! WARNING! DO NOT EVEN BOTHER WITH THE FOLLOWING LINK IF YOU ARE NOT OVER 18! Because Thin H Line is the SICKEST and arguably one of the funniest things you'll find online. Looks like mama was right -- dick jokes are funny.

I’m sure there’s many comics that I’m forgetting to list, like Cool Cat Studios, or Exploitation Now, or Angst Technology, but I’m not a friggin’ jump station okay? Find out about those for yourself. Do I look like my name is Link? Do I have big friggin’ pointy ears and a master sword? What am I, some sorta elf to you? I GOT YOUR MASTER SWORD RIGHT HERE, PUNK!!!

Until next time, EXCELSIOR!