|
Nothing quite matters like the little things, and that modest proverb is most true in Death by Degrees: it's filled to the brim with Excusables, Head Scratchers, Not Totally Wrongs, Well I Can Forgive Thats, and Huh??s, that they all begin to pile up and form a In The Name of Mappy How Could They Let All of This Pass? anomaly, unprofessional and incongruous to the Namco name. The interface and every menu in it looks like it fell from a DVD circa 1998. The screen transitions and wipes are really ugly. Rather than doing those ugly screen transitions, whenever she climbs a ladder, every rung is slowly stepped on (have fun getting shot at while doing it). Some doors require clearance. Use the necessary clearance and a message will pop up saying you've unlocked it. This will happen every time. The dialogue is terrible. The delivery is worse. There's a load time for practically everything. Way too much time (masticated by said obnoxious load times) is spent in the menu looking at the map, purchasing moves, and using heal items. Yes, all little things, and, yes, all add up to a sluggish experience that is (shockingly) comparable to Hidden Invasion or an early in-progress demo of Rise to Honor.
But what about the big things? Are they anywhere to be found? Well, yes, they are, and they too matter because they're what's making the character of Nina Williams so shamefully appealing, so naughty and enticing. From the explosions and rubble, she emerges looking like Bridgette Wilson playing the role of La Femme Nikita who's undercover as Nico at an Andy Warhol heroin party, complete with sludgy mascara and pissed-off goddess look in tow. Normally, you're in a sorry state of affairs if the only thing coaxing you forward in a game is some buxom digital chick (Lara Croft, anyone? Or those two San Franciscans in Fear Effect: Retro Helix?), but it can get addicting to see what those mischievous minds at Namco will conjure up next, to see how much further they can humiliate Nina in various stages of duress and undress. This violent uninhibited male fantasy is pretty lame, but it's not very fun to see it get shattered.
Specifically I'm thinking of a segment where Nina has to snipe enemies and protect an ally (one of the integrated mini-game attempts to keep the player interested and awake) and whenever she quickly pirouettes and ducks for cover, certain...amplified body parts bounce around in such a way that could knock things off a shelf if she's not careful, not to mention cause teenage boys to shift uncomfortably around in their seats.
Or how about in the opening cinema where she's sunbathing on the deck of a cruise ship? Never mind the fact that it's run by terrorists; who wants a hot CIA agent that's not well rested, not to mention without killer tan? The bad guys come along (you can tell because they all look the same and they interrupt the scene) and this is where you first take control of Nina, to commence effortless ass-whupping in a designer bikini. The fighting is seamless: tap the right analog stick and Nina will kick in that direction. There's an extensive list of combo moves that can be purchased from (currency are Skill Points which are rewarded based on how long you can keep a combo going) and there are melee weapons and firearms that can be picked up along the way. After this beginning brawl, another FMV starts and all the bad guys Nina was fighting get shot and killed by a newcomer. Inexplicably, he's not on your side, but is another bad dude, obviously modeled after Bencio Del Toro in a career slump, who then sends more identical-looking guys for her to fight. Of course, she get captured. Worse, she loses the bikini. But, that's okay, she finds a new skimpy dress, which practically falls to tatters after each boss battle (whoopsie!)
In one final bizarre bid to degrade the player, if you allow Nina to get pummeled, shredded, and pumped full of lead enough times, an option appears asking whether you'd like to set the game to BEGINNER difficulty. (It's no shame to admit that the game thinks you have the motor skills of an unwashed feckless n00b, considering the bad placement of save spots, cheap deaths, and utter lack of a continue system.) Change the difficulty? No, thanks, but can you point to me which are the options that I can fiddle with to make this game worth playing? The matter is, Death by Degrees is one of the games where it's just as well (or perhaps even better) if you're watching someone else play because not only does the lovely Nina demand that kind of undivided attention, but you get to feel good that you're not the only one who got suckered into this game.
|
