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Joy of strategic button mashing wand +1
If you ignore the confusing manual, and manage to get through the dry tutorial sections you'll find that combat is handled with the simple use of "direct" attacks and "radial" attacks. For a mere single "Spartan" I found that I could hold off a whole mob of angry Romans. Historically this is totally wrong, but in the game it works thanks to an effective speech/voice over given by the kind of the besieged Spartans: King Leonidas. He really got my blood going with that whole, "even the lowest Spartan is worth a hundred Roman warriors." That's a good thing too, because it looked like the entire Roman army was waiting outside our city.
However, eventually I finished killing the initial wave of "training mission" bad guys and was forced to actually begin playing the game for real. This is where my troubles writing this review started. While the basic gameplay is fun and the controls are solid, everything else about Spartan: Total Warrior comes across as merely "ok."
For example, the level design and mission progression feel incredibly wooden. Somewhere I can picture a designer typing out a list of things that need to happen to get the player to the next story element, and a developer following that list to a "T." For example: Very early on in the game when Sparta is under attack by a Roman machine the player is tasked with firing three large catapults at key times to beat back the siege equipment. On paper it sounds dramatic, but when playing I had to question why of all the characters running around I was the one responsible for firing the catapults.
It felt more like the designers just needed me to do something for four minutes. The screen was filled with epic looking structures, tons of enemy troops launching the last assault, and my King crying out for me to fire away… but it felt like I was hitting bulletin points on the back of the box. The desperation of our last stand just didn't come across where needed to hide the basic mission structure.
Join the army: they take you to all the best places
Generic level/mission design continues to hinder Spartan: Total Warrior even after the initial stages. A later task required that I find a key for a wooden door. Said key lay a few yards out of reach, but I still had time to ask why this incredible killing machine simply couldn't bash the door down. Let me also state for the record that having to guard flimsy structures from waves of attacking enemies is not befitting of a true warrior. Burning an entire village to the ground because their warriors attacked me? That's what I want to see more of next time Creative Assembly!
However, if you're ok with "go there, hit that switch, and kill these guys who just appeared" gameplay then you're going to love the way Spartan: Total Warrior peppers these plain looking environments with supertanker's full of people to kill. At first this is all good because you have a group of fellow Spartan warriors beside you. Yeah. Once you get about a third of the way into the game you'll leave behind your friends and head it out alone. Only the game doesn't stop throwing tons of goons at you. Here the designers keep you going by introducing new weapons in a timely fashion. One will never long for different ways to kill grunts.
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