Post Coital

I just had to share this. My nerd rage is off the chart.
There was a group of three guys in here, I'd say in their late teens early twenties. They're all looking at N64 games. One of them wants to buy A Bug's Life because his girlfriend liked it and Bomberman Hero because Bomberman is the greatest ever. While I can't disagree with the overall sentiment of Bomberman being the fairly great, his reign of greatness ended on the SNES.
Anyway, they see Excitebike 64 and the rest goes ...

The nicest thing about the Christmas season is that it's about the only time of year I get to see females who aren't complete hags.
98% of my customer base is male. The remaining 2% are either nerd emo girls who wear way too much make up and eat way too many Twilight emblazoned candy bars or they are haggard neighborhood moms with about a hundred miles of bad highway running down their hollow faces. I know there are hot moms out there, but they must all go to the mall locations 11 months ...

I'm a shitty fucking mood today.
It didn't start that way.
Even though it was rainy and I didn't want to get out of bed, by the time I got in my car for my hour long drive to work I was feeling pretty good.
I opened the doors to customers at 11:55 am. By 12:10 I was ready to go home.

Nine times out of ten, the only people who are at my door first thing are people needing cash. Cash for diapers, cash for smokes, cash for drugs, and cash cash cash cash. One ...

You can take it for granted that I hate most customers. Ok, all customers.
But the ones that I hate the most, the ones that I'd love to shove my arm down their throat, grab hold of their raisinet balls and rip them out through their mouths? The goddamn game nerds.
They're all the same, and they're all the worst. They always come in in pairs. They're like the goddamn Sith of video game retail. There is Super Nerd who makes sure to point out all the "interesting" facts ...

"How are you doing today?" Guy is dressed nice and offers the first greeting. This should go well!
"Fine! Is there anything I can help you find or any questions I can answer?"
"Yeah, how much can I get for this game?" Whips out a PS3 Modern Warfare 2. I open it and check out the disc.
"You're looking at $20 cash or $25 store credit."
"Can't you make it $25 cash? I need to go to the DMV and..." Why do people think I give ...

There's a common misconception concerning me going around the community I work in. No, not the racism stuff, that is true. No, I am referring to the idea that I hate kids. I don't hate kids. I love kids (w'sup Mzo, Shine). I have friends who are kids. I do hate the "parents" of most kids that come into the shop though. I put that in quotes because I think parents is a misnomer for these people. From what I can tell, there isn't any parenting going on.

I'm going to ...

Ah Summer Time!
How I loathe thee.
Summer means the stinky people that frequent the store are even stinkier.

Summer means the greasy people that frequent the store are even greasier. Seriously. Usually I only have to wipe down the glass showcases at the end of the day. But if the temperature outside hits anywhere higher than 72 then the glass looks like someone smeared Vaseline all over it within minutes of opening the door.

Summer means everyone has ...

The phone rings.
I muster up all the possible enthusiasm that I can and answer with a dead pan monotone, "Game Craze"
"Yo! Y'all got them new xbaks?"
"The one that was just announced that it is shipping to retailers and will be available by the end of the week?"
"Nah man! They just said it's out today"
"Nah man. They just announced that it is shipping to retailers and will be available by the end of the week." ...

I've never seen the reason to have these things. Most people just are not that interesting, and have nothing interesting to share unless they heard/read it from some other far more interesting source.
But we all want to be noticed.
We all want attention. Especially those of us who say we don't.
The only things even remotely interesting about my everyday life are the people who frequent the game shop I work at.
So I plan on filling this space with pictures and anecdotes ...