How did I get here?
by, 26 Jul 2010 at 06:54 PM (3088 Views)
I have toyed with lucid dreaming in the past. And I went on a good run of spotting my dreams, then manipulating them -- more often than not for sex -- I was eighteen.
So, last night I had a dream. And in it, I left work at lunch, sold a CD, and while sleepy, and not paying attention, I hit a pedestrian.
I hit the breaks and stopped.
But not in time to avoid hitting her. There were kids in the road, too. I didn't hit those, as far as I know.
What followed was a series of investigations -- the cop investigating me, and me investigating what happened. One thing to note is after the car was cleared and towed, we went back to the house I lived in when I was eighteen and the cops investigated me there.
I kept wishing it didn't happen, wishing I could just go back and change it. But, I couldn't. I also briefly asked myself if I was dreaming and used the Inception line, "How did you get here?"
I was able to clearly point out how I got there - wake up - work - CD Warehouse - then I was on the way to Sonic for a coupon discounted meal - then later, clear across the city, to meet up with friends (I guess I intended to play hooky that afternoon?). And in all this, in the dream, I was certifiably able to say, "Yes, this is real." Just as I type this, I am able to say, "Yes, this is real." I look around and everything I see, I know and I feel, is "real."
Never before in a dream have I walked away with that answer. Usually when I start questioning the reality of a dream I start to spiral into a revelation that it is, in fact, a dream. I am dreaming! And I then immediately start running around trying to get laid before I wake up. Which, I usually failed at. The faster I acted the faster I woke up.
So... what is a dream? I feel betrayed. Deceived, the dream was a dream. Even though all I wanted in the dream was to be out of it, out of the manslaughter charge.
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