A kitten wandered into my garage. Now I have a kitten.
by
, 03 Oct 2010 at 03:22 PM (17107 Views)
A kitten started hanging around my house about a month ago and I felt bad for it, so I started feeding it. Then one night some friends and I were chilling in the garage, listening to some Tears For Fears records, playing Poker and drinking some High Life, and the kitten wandered in and began playing with the straps on my messenger bag. As stoners, we were immediately intrigued by the kitten and watched it play for a good 15 minutes before we had to switch sides on the record. One Electric Light Orchestra LP later and she was curled up in my leather jacket on the floor slowly drifting off to sleep. I moved her food into the garage and closed the doors.
The next day I brought home a litter box and some toys after work, and I made her a bed and a small house out of one of my old dog cages. I left the garage door open, but she never left the garage and has been living in it for the past 2 weeks. At some point soon I'm going to take her inside and introduce her to my dogs.
So I guess I have a kitten now. I didn't really ask for one, and I've always been a dog person, but she just showed up. She seems pretty great, even though she's cross-eyed. I can't give her to a shelter because I'm sure they're inundated with cats and none of my friends want a kitten. She's too small to survive in the wild by herself and my neighborhood is notoriously known for cat rapists (people who will have sex with cats against their will). So I took her to the vet the other day and named her Eva.
My problem is that I don't know anything about kittens, and if she lives a long and healthy life (which I hope she does), I could be taking care of her for the next 18 years. Whoa. That's a lot of responsibility, and I've got plenty of questions.
Why is she always stalking me like prey and pouncing on me? Sometimes all I want to do is grab a beer from the garage fridge, but I feel like I'm being watched, and before I know it she's pounced on my shoe and is clambering up my leg. I'm guessing she just wants some Fat Tire, but I don't know what the drinking age for cats is. I don't want to start her down the wrong path too early, only to see her grow up and end up on the Sunset Strip as some hipster groupie. I hate John Mayer.
When do you teach a kitten about sex? Should I tell her before she hears about it from the other kittens at school?
When she purrs she sounds like my old single cylinder Honda motorcycle, is that normal? Are vet bills for cats high?
Should I let her outside to play or confine her to the house? Should I let her sleep in my room? Sometimes I have night terrors.
I think she coughed up a hairball the other day. Cats do that? Does it ever become not gross? I think it surprised her as much as me.
So yeah, I have a kitten, and I'm starting to learn about cats while simultaneously trying not to become a weird "cat person" who gets t-shirts printed with their cats' face on it.