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Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 Part 5: Shadow the Hedgehog Part 2 & Final Episode Part 1

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The urge to simply type, "Fuck, fuck, fuck~!" is extremely high, but I'll do this proper.

Following the epic of entries 1, 2, 3, and 4, we are now on part 5 of this mess.

Fuck, fuck, fuck~!

Paint the world with tweets.

Another day, another play session of Sonic 2006. Let's see about finishing off Shadow's episode today.
It's good to see the Silver fight is even less balanced with Shadow. Well done, @Sega.
I'd love to see the design docs for Shadow's game. I bet it was written in crayon.
Congrats, E-123 Omega! You are the worse character in Sonic 2006!
I have called E-123 Omega "You Son of a Bitch!" at least 20 times within 10 minutes. So frustrating!
I can't think of many times that I've been tempted to take the disc out of my console and snap it in frustration. Congrats, Sonic 2006!
I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship with Sonic 2006. It's bad for me, I know I should just walk away, but I can't help going back.
I've already had to stop playing twice today due to frustration. Let's see how much further I get now. #Sonic2006
I just killed Rouge & Omega by somehow running over Rouge. Awesome. If only this removed them from the game as well
One of my favorite things about 2006 Sonic is how your character kicks their scattered rings away from them instead of recollecting them.
Shadow's terrible episode is over. I really think it was the worse playing of the 3, and to beat Sonic in horribleness is an accomplishment.
One more episode to finish. Let's put this to bed. #Sonic2006
It's almost like they designed the final chapter to be as terrible as possible so people wouldn't even want to finish it. This level, so bad
In my second blog in this series I stated to Mzo, "I want to keep playing it to see if I can hate it any more." The answer is, yes; I could hate it much, much more.

E-123 Omega is, quite possibly, one of the worse characters I have ever encountered. Big the Cat is a fucking pleasure to play as compared to E-123 Omega. E-123 Omega has unreliable hover-jumps that, sometimes for no reason and without warning, don't work or stop working. E-123 Omega has a gun that you can never tell if it's locked on or targeted to enemies. E-123 Omega, well, that name! E-123!? You're fucking with me, right Sega?!
I did love hearing E-123 Omega say out loud, with no other characters around, "The door is locked! You need to destroy all the enemies here for it to open!" I could only imagine him following that up with, "you magnificent handsome bastard you!"

What I found so astonishing about this game is that, besides Silver's episode, every other part of this game is such shit. I would think, or at least hope, that they would use the experience learned in making three other 3D Sonic games and an entire entry based solely on Shadow to make this a better experience. Instead, Silver, the only new playable character in this piece of shit, is the only one worth a damn.

I also wonder how much of this development team worked on Phantasy Star Universe as this game's constant drive to throw you in rooms filled with enemies and force you to defeat them keeps making me feel like I should be getting mesa for my efforts.

So, Shadows game - finished. I'm not sure how I defeated the last boss as the homing attack proved itself to be even more useless than ever, despite it being very easy to see exactly what I was suppose to be doing, but the boss fell to the ground, the achievement clicked, and the final episode unlocked.

Fuck Shadow. I never want to play any bit of that episode again.

I attempted to play the final chapter. I attempted four different times. Sonic dies (How appropriate), and it's up to Silver and the six shitty characters to save resurrect him using the chaos emeralds some way or the other. Oh! And Eggman's there, being helpful, and everyone's cool with it because, you know, silly old Eggman. Shit. This story makes no damn sense. I'm tempted to try and make a flow chart for it, but I'm afraid I may try and hang myself as I stare at it's nonsensical story points.
So, off Silver and the six various levels of shitty characters go to revisit the same stages you've already played at least three times to find the chaos emeralds, except now we also have giant gravitational pulling black portals that kill you instantly and other orbs that throw out deadly crates. To add an extra twist to the knife, sometimes these insta-death black portals seem to appear out of thin air right next to you without warning.

When I get the achievement for clearing the final episode, I wish I could wear it like a badge. The thought quickly crossed my mind to get a tattoo of it as my token of victory, but maybe just a framed photo would suffice.

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  1. Mzo's Avatar
    You magnificent, handsome bastard. Lolllllll.


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