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PepsimanVsJoe talks about random games.

For some reason I felt compelled to write about Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days

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Youtube-quality graphics, one-dimensional game-design, and what the heck I actually played through this game? I'm sitting on a stack of games that include the likes of Deus Ex: Human Revolution, the ICO/SOTC set, and a bunch of other games that are supposedly really good. I barely played any of them though, for reasons I'll try to detail in this write-up I spent some quality time with a couple of losers and their quest to create the biggest pile of corpses.

I didn't play the original Kane & Lynch so I don't have any idea of what the story or the characters were all about. They're still alive so either they're doing something right or something horribly wrong. Anyway Kane arrives in Shanghai for "one last job". He gets in touch with Lynch and everything goes downhill. Actually I take that back, there is no hill, things shoot straight to hell as soon as Lynch gets a gun in his hands. After killing several dozen people Lynch's boss starts throwing a fit, this leads to another job that involves more killing. Turns out that among the bodies was the daughter of the man who practically owns the city. The police, the gangsters, some task force, the army, and bizarre hooded guys are after our two bestest buddies.

Dealing with everyone is handled in the same manner. Sometimes you shoot them, other times you shoot them, and on rare occasions...you shoot them. This isn't Vanquish or whatever the heck people play these days. If anything Kane & Lynch are worse off than your average human being. These guys have more issues than Sports Illustrated and that really can't be used to their advantage. They don't get some cool berserker powers or some kind of special ability like telepathic bullets or an exploding camel. Sure they've got the whole health-regen going on but who doesn't? To top it all off Kane & Lynch are followed by what is essentially the cameraman, who captures every instance in all its gritty detail. So when either of them are getting shot at, the screen starts filled up with artifacts while turning red.

So what the hell? Turns out I couldn't put this game down and shot through it in maybe a sitting and a half. What's there is actually really compelling, and everything the game does seems to work in its favor. Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying this game is particularly great, it just does everything it sets out to do. It's like some ugly self-aware schlock-fest that even when it fails it succeeds. At one point in the game I wander into a sweatshop and see several identical women hunched over desks knowing their lives are in the hands of a trio of sadistic bastards. Since it's a videogame I do what comes naturally, and shoot one of those women in the head. Pixelation is used not only to blur out the really naughty bits, but to also deny any sense of satisfaction. I just killed an innocent person because...oh right it's a videogame, maybe I was expecting an achievement or something. This game re-uses a number of images, like ones that show up on computer-screens or on posters. It could be that the entire experience was delivered in a way solely to mess with my head. I guess they got me there, I've never spent this long thinking about the time I killed a helpless person in a videogame.

I guess there's some other stuff I'm supposed to say here, like Kane & Lynch remind me of me and how I want to get away from all the pains of the world, but as long as I continue to screw up I'll be dragged further in. I'm not sure if all of that applies though, I'm still trying to figure why those guys are fighting to stay alive. Maybe they've seen Hell or wherever it is they believe in and discovered it's even worse. Maybe it's why I continue to write, even with the thought that the gaming industry is almost destined to fall apart before long. What else is out there for me? I have no talent or experience with anything else, but eventually my age is going to catch up with me. So I don't know, maybe it does apply? Maybe I shouldn't be thinking so hard about the throw-away games I play.

Anyway now that I'm thoroughly depressed I hope you all go out and give this game a shot. If nothing else the soundtrack is quite good, the controls are solid, and it's short. That last quality really isn't bad at all, since you'll likely find this game for less than a tenner anywhere you look. Hey maybe you'll grab the X360 version and we can do a game of online-coop. Just don't get too freaked out if I empty several clips in the sweatshop.

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  1. Razor Ramon's Avatar
    I always heard this game blew. This one and the one with those two dudes who wack each other off until the end.

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