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OMG I HAVE THE ULTRA RARE NES-001!

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I felt a little feisty this morning, so I hit the sign and opened up 10 minutes early.
The first customer of the day is usually a good indication of how the day is going to go. Is there a crackhead looking bastard itching (literally) to get inside? Today is going to be pay out after pay out. Soccer mom drinking her Dunkin Donuts in her minivan? We might have some sales. Ten year old kid with a backpack full of games and a system? The cops will be by later.
Today it was a dude carrying a filthy Atari 2600 in a plastic bag. Before I can even say hello he says, "I want to sell this, but if I'm going to get less than $100 I am keeping it!"
I respond, "It looks like you're keeping it then."
"How much would you offer me? I've seen how much they're getting on eBay. I've seen them sell for over $300."
"If you want to look in the case over there, you will see that I have one that doesn't look like it was just unearthed from a landfill. It has all the hookups, two controllers, and 10 games. It's $40. So how much do you think a dirty system with no parts is worth?"
"Well, how come they are going for so much on eBay?"
"Not all Atari's were created equal. Most of them don't sell for very much."
"Hmm. Thanks for your time." Hung head low, he walked on out the door. Disgusting,loose Atari in his hand.

This scenario is so obnoxious, and it happens all the time now. When I first saw Pawn Stars, I really liked the show. Not because of the "WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT OLD THING IS WORTH SO MUCH!" factor, but because of the history of things that they would get into. I loved American Pickers for the same reason. But then some cunt thought the guys on the show were what was interesting, not the items they were featuring and they started doing shitty sitcom skits and completely ruined both shows. But that's a different blog.
I really started to hate Pawn Stars when they started featuring video game stuff, because they were almost always wrong in their history and assessment of value. It broke my heart. It was like when you first figure out that your parents don't know everything and, as a matter of fact, are quite wrong about a lot of the things they tell you. It's a devastating feeling for a 4 year old.
If these guys were wrong about the stuff I did know, how could I accept their information concerning the stuff I didn't know?
So I stopped watching the show.
America continued to eat it up though.
Some time ago, I was suddenly accosted with callers asking how much I would give for their original nintendo systems. No one seemed overly happy with my answer. Finally, a guy said," That's it? This is the super rare NES-001 though! It's worth thousands! They had it on Pawn Stars!"
I lost my ability to speak for a second. "Sir, I'm sorry, but all of the original nintendos were NES-001. I have ten of them sitting here right now. I would be happy to show you."
"Oh..." I could hear his head fall forward, and before the phone clicked off I swear I could hear the sound a loose nintendo in a plastic bag being thrown across the room.

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Comments

  1. Finch's Avatar
    poor NES-001....

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