Sales Calls!

***ring ring***

Me: Hello?

Lady: Hello? Is This Mark?

(Mark is my dad, this is my personal line in my office)

Me: Nobody here by that name, sorry.

Lady: Oh, I'm sorry. Are you a college student?

Me: No.

Lady: Oh really? Well, I'm calling from such-and-such travel agency. I'm not a sales person, I'm not selling anything at all. I'm just calling as an advertisement and telling people about the new store we opened in St. Louis Park.

Right now, we're inviting people to come check out our new store. And every invited person who comes will receive a free, all-expenses-paid, 3-day 2-night "mini-vacation" as I call them to one of our 82 vacation spots as well as a free gift certificate to Red Lobster. You will receive these free gifts just for coming and checking out our store.

You don't have to sign up for anything, you are not obliged to purchase anything; they are yours free.

Me: (trying not to laugh) ... uhm, that's great, but I hate vacations and I can't stand seafood.

Lady: Oh... well, I've heard this once.. only once before. But see, these free offers are totally transferable so you can give them to whoever you like. You can transfer the gift certificate to say, The Olive Garden or anything else you prefer.

And not all vacations happen around the world; you can even drive to some places to vacation. So, you could hop into your car and go on a free mini-vacation.

Me: Well, see, the thing is, I hate even leaving my house. Sort of a phobia, you see.

Lady: Are you sure you're not a college kid?

Me: Yep.

Lady: Are you over 25?

Me: Nope.

Lady: Under 25?

Me: Yep.

Lady: Are you married or single?

Me: Single.

Lady: Have you got a girlfriend or significant other over 25 who can take advantage of this offer?

Me: Nope, not that I can remember.

Lady: What are you, like 19?

Me: 20.

Lady: Ahh, 20 years young; well, I'm sorry, there must've been a computer error here. I'm sorry for taking your time.

Me: (silence, listening to the lady wait until she hangs up).



I LOVE SALESPEOPLE! They are so fun to weird out!

Hello? Mr. President?!!? *shakes phone* What happened at Roswell?!??

Well done JC. ;)



I usually just hang up on them though... especially when they're speaking French. :p

i like to answer... and get my brother to come over and do this:

salesman: "hi, is Robert Rambo there?"

me: "why yes, this is Robert speaking" (robert is my dad)

salesman: "well we have a new offer... blah blah"

*brother walks in*

brother (in womanly voice): "who you talking to hon'?"

me: "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO MAKE ME SOME PANCAKES BITCH!"

*fake-slaps brother repeatedly

*brother screams in womanly voice*

me: "sorry about that... sometimes them damn women don't know their PLACE!"

salesmen: "uhh... uhh... thank you for your time *click*"

Ha ha ha, my brother and I have pulled that one before. Terribly fun.

Oh and, Roswell... well, that's for another thread!

:lol: LMAO!

That was hilarious FirstBlood! :lol:

Listen to these...and use 'em if you can! :evil:

Quote:

---

Originally posted by FirstBlood
brother (in womanly voice): "who you talking to hon'?"

me: "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO MAKE ME SOME PANCAKES BITCH!"

---

OMFG that was funny. I bet I could get my wife to pull this one, which would make it all that much more authentic.

...Ironically enough, she just called so I told her about this and she laughed and agreed that we need to do it. :D

-Kevin

I like to keep the good ol' Arnold Schwarzenegger Soundboard handy for any such calls, but for more uneventful days, the Jerry Seinfeld method works as well.

"I'm sorry I'm busy right now, can you leave me your home phone and we can talk later?"
"We're not supposed to do that."
"Oh, you don't like being called at home?"
"No."
"Now you know how I feel."
*click*

i bet hundreds of ppl have already tried the seinfeld method - plus i bet the sales ppl know about it too - i guess it pays to be original - I like Firstbloods!