Unreal Championship (Xbox) 1.02.03
Unreal Championship, as reviewed by Toad...
Wow, it’s been the busiest Christmas ever here in the Mushroom Kingdom. I received so many presents! I got a vest, and another vest, and another vest! Yoshi stole the show though, when he presented me with an Xbox and a copy of Unreal Tournament and Xbox Live, with a card that said “I hate you.” Well, we laughed and laughed and laughed, that Yoshi is just the best for gag gifts. He didn’t laugh much, he just kind of looked at me, but I guess that was because he got all his laughing out when he bought the Xbox!
Needless to say, the Xbox was the star of the afternoon. We each took turns trying to lift it, trying to hold the giant controller, and howling about the funny green color. We stayed up very late, it must have been 7 o’clock at least, and then we decided to go home for the night. So I, and my team of 80 Koopas, took our leave, dragging the Xbox behind us.
The following morning, I had the day off from standing next to the princess and smiling, so I decided to see what all this Xbox fuss was about, so I plugged it in and began to play Unreal Championship.
Oh my, such violence! I have to admit that at first, I was very put off by all that shooting, but I figured that since they always come right back after you shoot them, that it was ok. Maybe they got to go to an ice cream store before they respawned, I thought to myself, and that seemed to make sense, so I didn’t feel so bad about sending them there.
Well, since I’m trying all these new things, with playing an Xbox and all, I thought I’d try doing a “review” of it, and telling you what I “think” of the game. Most people never ask or care or listen to what I think, but now since you’re reading you have no choice! Hehe.
Gameplay
You use the R button to shoot, and the A button to jump! Yay! I like games where you jump!
Graphics
They’re dark an’ icky!
Sound
The music is kind of neat, but there’s no Toad’s Theme. Hehe.
Lasting Appeal
I play until my arms start to hurt from the controller, which is about 10 minutes!
Overall
It’s kinda fun, I guess. I give it a 5! Yay!
Wow, I’m a really good reviewer! I should do this more often.
I finally went on the “Internet” with my Xbox to play Unreal Championship earlier today. It was fun, but people kept screaming at me to “Turn off that Goddamn child voice filter.” I don’t even know what that is! People on there swear a whole lot, and a lot of them misspell their names! Or maybe he really did want to be called “RougeAssassin,” who knows. Another time, a man names “halo2willBoutsoon” called me a “rocket whore.” I don’t know what that is either, so I called Princess Peach to ask her. She didn’t know either, but she said it probably wasn’t good, and she’s probably right!
I really like to go on there and play Bombing Run with a lot of folks. It’s a game where you have to get the ball, and then either run it through your opponents’ goal, or throw it through. It’s similar to a game that we have here in the Mushroom Kingdom, except that we use a Toad and a hula-hoop. I like playing Bombing Run better though, since I get to be the thrower! They also have Capture the Flag on there too, but I don’t really play that since stealing is wrong!
Anyway, I have to go now, it‘s Tennis day! Nice meeting you! Everybody can add me to their friend list on Xbox Live too, “AnotherCastle“. I like friends!
