Losing a loved one

EDIT: shit...this is so not gaming related. :confused:


Ever since I'm on a night shift at work, I haven't been able to stay up during the afternoon. So I woke up tonight and noticed the red light on my phone was blinking (means I have messages). It was my father, calling to let me know my grand mother didn't have much time left... what a way to start the day, huh? :(

So I called dad back and used that opportunity to give some news, knowing that he had something sad to tell me. So he explained me the situation. Grand mother was placed in one of those centre for the elderly people just a year ago. She wasn't in the best of shape already, not that she was having health problems, but more like starting to suffer from alzeimer. So it was painful enough for us that she couldn't remember our names. The last time I visited, she was happy to have company and it showed. But she couldn't tell which of his grand son was talking to her. She had a smile on her face, but a lost look in her eyes.

So anyway, my dad told me her kidneys no longer works. That means the blood is getting infected and that's no good sign. She's apparently on morphine to slow the pain. There's not much else to do, going to the hospital at this stage won't do shit. She is old and nobody wants to see her spend the last of her days in there.

She was the last of my grand parent to be alive. So by her death, our family loses an entire generation. This is a sad day indeed and a cruel reality check for us. If my grand parents are aging, then so am I. In the family though, we haven;t lost anyone else but grand parents. I mean nobody died early in an accident or anything. And we should be grateful for that. But since I'm not used to seeing someone close to me dying (well you can't ever get used to that fact), it's a weird feeling I'm experiencing.

Thanks, I just needed to write that off somewhere. Feel free to add whatever you want about grand parents.

that sucks mate - hang in there.

I've never really had grandparents - my dad's father was a fucked up individidual who hated people, was a misogynist, racist and all around fuckhead who practiced alot of "black arts" (long story - suffice to say it kept alot of my family away from him, i didn't really care either way though) - i probably only said a couple words to him in my entire lifetime and he died when i was in elementary school. I can distinctly remember not even sheding a tear at the funeral, actually I was quite happy that day, cause all I knew was that a real motherfucker had gone down. My dad's mother passed away before that, she was a bit nicer, but I didn't talk to her much either nor can I remember any good memories. Their house was always pitch black with the smell of plastic and fire inside, you'd walk in and the life would be sucked out of you... heh, even at young ages like 5 I knew that being in that place felt fucked up.


I never met my mom's dad cause he died long before I was born, but I hear he was a real 'class act' too, wife beater, child beater, all around piece of shit. My mom's mother is 75 yrs old and has been always nice to me, but there is a language barrier to deal with and she lives in california anyway so I see her like once every 3-5 yrs it seems. I dont ever have much to say to her, just tell her I'm doing fine and thats it, she knows nothing about me and hell its probably too late for her to even care (I know I wouldn't). She's been having memory problems recently so I don't even know if she'll remember me if I see her again.

Yup...

I feel your pain. My grandmother died in 1999 and to this day I feel a piece of me went with her. It was especially hard on me since she raised me like a son from birth.

One of the last phones calls I got from her was her telling me how much pain she was in and how she wishes she could just let go. I don't know what's worse, an elderly family member in pain and coherent or one who isn't in pain but doesn't remember you and doesn't have much time left.

Life can be cruel, but it always teaches us.

God bless you, your grandma and your family...

I'm very sorry for your loss mindfield. :(

Both of my grandmothers died before I was born and able to meet them. It's strange how sad it makes me since I never met them..... but when I see pictures or the few keepsakes my parents gave me, it gives me a great sense of loss for having never met them or gotten to know them.

This past year my grandfather suffered a bad accident, and then suffered a stroke during an operation. It was a really terrible time for my family and for some time it seemed like he would not survive. Amazingly, he managed to pull thru and make it. He's not quite the same person he once was... but I am happy that he has done so well. The hardest part for me is that my family lives in the US and I can't really go back and visit them for the time being. I have talked to him on the phone but it's not really the same. Life back there is simply not the same as what I knew and that's very strange.

Last autumn was a miserable time feeling so alone and sad and so far away. I hope you can get through your loss with the help and support of your family.

Times like these teach us to appreciate life.

i still have both sets of grandparents, but i lost my great grandfather (dad's side) years back, and to this day it still gets me a little upset. my great grandmother, his wife, died a few months before i was born so i never got a chance to meet her, and she never got the chance to meet me, her oldest male great grandchild. i've never met any of my great grandparents on my mom's side either.

i can't exactly say i was really, really close to my great grandfather though. i spent time watching baseball with him whenever it was on (he's the one that made me a baseball fan), and i went to the supermarket with him from time to time for candy, but that was about it. i remember how he liked to see us kids play in the backyard. we didn't have much to do besides play wiffleball, but he enjoyed it.

during his funeral though, no one was really all that sad. everyone cried, but after a while they were all laughing and joking around. i asked my dad why and he said because my great grandfather would have wanted it that way. he lived a long life and helped our family get started in the u.s., so there was nothing to be sad about.

even though it upsets me a bit thinking about when he was in the hospital with not long to live, i think back to all the other times, during parties, dinners and such, and it doesn't bother me all that much. i guess he did everything he hoped and dreamed of doing and that's all that matters in the end.

I feel for you, man. My mother's father died in the Philippines during WW2 from shrapnel from a bomb or grenade. My dad's father died a little over a week after I was born from cancer of the bile ducts of the gallbladder. I never knew either of them.

My dad's mother lived in California and went blind from glaucoma in her 50's or 60's. She was a nice, old Spanish lady who taught my mom the family flan recipe, which she has since passed on to me (I think I'm the 4th generation to learn it). She only stayed with us for brief amounts of time and I never really knew her, though as a child I helped her around the house since she was blind.

My other grandmother, my mom's mother, was the only grandparent I was really close to. She lived next door to us and ran a service station in east Dallas. She was always full of vigor when I was young but her health seriously deteriorated when she reached her early 70's and I was in my pre-teens. She died when I was 14 and it was a very sad and somber funeral. It's been over 9 years since she's passed and my mom's missed her terribly. Her older sister, who was also her best friend, passed away this past April and the family's (as in all the relatives) been going seriously downhill ever since, the glue that was holding it just fell apart.

Part of the reason their packing up and moving to Vegas to join me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mindfield

EDIT: shit...this is so not gaming related. :confused:


Ever since I'm on a night shift at work, I haven't been able to stay up during the afternoon. So I woke up tonight and noticed the red light on my phone was blinking (means I have messages). It was my father, calling to let me know my grand mother didn't have much time left... what a way to start the day, huh? :(

So I called dad back and used that opportunity to give some news, knowing that he had something sad to tell me. So he explained me the situation. Grand mother was placed in one of those centre for the elderly people just a year ago. She wasn't in the best of shape already, not that she was having health problems, but more like starting to suffer from alzeimer. So it was painful enough for us that she couldn't remember our names. The last time I visited, she was happy to have company and it showed. But she couldn't tell which of his grand son was talking to her. She had a smile on her face, but a lost look in her eyes.

So anyway, my dad told me her kidneys no longer works. That means the blood is getting infected and that's no good sign. She's apparently on morphine to slow the pain. There's not much else to do, going to the hospital at this stage won't do shit. She is old and nobody wants to see her spend the last of her days in there.

She was the last of my grand parent to be alive. So by her death, our family loses an entire generation. This is a sad day indeed and a cruel reality check for us. If my grand parents are aging, then so am I. In the family though, we haven;t lost anyone else but grand parents. I mean nobody died early in an accident or anything. And we should be grateful for that. But since I'm not used to seeing someone close to me dying (well you can't ever get used to that fact), it's a weird feeling I'm experiencing.

Thanks, I just needed to write that off somewhere. Feel free to add whatever you want about grand parents.

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I've been there dude.

My grandmother lived with us up until the last year of her life because my mom refused to accept that she had to be in a nursing home (she had dementia, then alchzimer's) and faded very very slowly.

Watching it up close is the most devastating thing in the world. Its so gradual that all the little annoyances that turn into huge problems later can erase the good things you remembered about that person.

Hang in there my man, the sun will rise tomorrow, and when it does remember that you always have that to look forward to no matter how rough it gets. :)

It's tough.

I found out my grandfather died in his sleep last night, we're leaving today. He had parkinsins and was 89 years old, it was his time.

Last night my aunt and uncle visited him after dinner. They asked him if he wanted dessert. He asked for cookies and ice cream, I know he was happy before he died. :)

But I'm not sad, he's happy where he is now.

Wow, I've only got 1 grandparent left.

Im very sorry. A grandparents love is a terrible thing to lose.

As silly as it sounds, theres a song by DMX that makes me break down into tears every time I hear it. Its about his grandmother, and what he says in it reminds me of my own grandmother so very much. I raise a glass to everyones grandparents, those of them that are no longer here.

Having lost my grandmother over a decade ago, I feel your pain.