Never been my thing.
A fart was enough.
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Never been my thing.
A fart was enough.
I photographed my friend stuffing a passed out drunken girls nose into his asshole.
This is after we entered her house after it had been partied out, ate all her food, drank all her beer, and found a camera lying around.
It is impossible to get pwned any harder than developing your own roll of film, and seeing a bunch of jerks partying in your crib, drinking your beer, and then seeing your face, with hairy buttcheeks wrapped around it as the final picture on the roll.
One morning, I was half-asleep and trying to get ready to go to class, and I mistook my tube of toothpaste for my tube of hemorrhoid medication....
You can guess the rest.
(Yes, that is a true story.)
Once I was so wrapped up in looking both ways for traffic, I almost mowed down the 80 year old man who was passing in front of my car as I went to pull out.
He hit my car repeatedly with his cane as he cursed me out, but I figured I deserved it.
And then it happened again just last week, but it was a young couple instead of an old man.
That definitely belongs in the next teen sex comedy; it's far too cruel for real life.Quote:
Originally Posted by Icepick
-and: How the hell do you not notice someone sticking your nose up their butt?
Last winter I had a bit of a flu and I came home very feverish and was really out of it, ... I was the only one in the elevator, so I pressed 17, and when the doors opened I got out and went to unlock my door. Just then, my neighbour was coming out of his appartment. My key wasn't working but it often sticks so I kept trying to jiggle it open. Finally I gave up and knocked on the door hoping to be let it. Except that some lady answered instead of sggg asking who I was and what I wanted (and refusing to open the door). Turns out I had gotten off at the 15th floor and my neighbour was apparently moving to the same appartment but two floors down. I was mortified for about 5 minutes. :p
I always check the number on the door now. :lol:
Dude... you put toothpaste in your ass?Quote:
Originally Posted by CynicalSphere
She was so drunk she was almost dead.Quote:
Originally Posted by FuryFox
Ever tried to put the laundry in the fridge, and the groceries in the laundry room?
I admit, the bagel story is really pathetic. But it is my most fav story ever.
Oh, I guess I tried to brush my hair with a tooth brush one time. It didnt have any toothpaste on it tho.
I like the bagel story better.
If only that were the case. I ended up brushing my teeth with hemorrhoid grease.Quote:
Originally Posted by Icepick