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So, I just tried to put another contact in the eye that already had one.
The other day, in an act of one-ups-manship (read guy stupidity), I grabbed a big pool umbrella, took a a running start and leaped off a ledge into a pool... with clothes on and *cell phone still in pocket.*
I used to put my cereal bowl in the refrigerator instead of the milk after breakfast.
What sorts of mindless buffoonery have you all perpetrated?
We'll be laughing with you, not at you, I swear. :)
Well, there was that time I ruled Iraq under an iron fist...
i poured orange juice on my cereal one time
I'm sure everyone here has had a time when they were frantically looking for something that was in their hand the whole time.
Not ME, of course...
Or looking for their glasses when they're on one's head?
HEY! Aren't you supposed to be at work!?Quote:
Originally Posted by stormy
i almost drink the bottle of syrup every time i have pancakes. i'll stick a pen in my hair and forget it's there for hours.
sometimes I forget how to speak. this usually comes from playing videogames/reading for a too long.
a lot of times ill drop something.....really silly like a piece of paper that will be unaffected by falling to the ground. but noooooo i have to try and catch it and somehow i always end up banging my dick with my fist somehow.......
no :cry:Quote:
Originally Posted by Dripdry
As mentioned in the "strange habit" thread, I have incurable hyperness sometimes, and end up doing martial art moves all over the place...because of this, I've had to repaint my room (I was in an attic-style room) since I had footprints and shoe scuffs all over the sloped ceiling and walls. Also, nunchaku are not really meant to be used in the house...I never broke anything, but had to plaster in plenty of nicks and dents in the walls :\
I put the baby in the shelf and played with the diapers. Took me a second to realize what I was doing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dripdry
I drank the salt shaker earlier at lunch. Thought it was my bottle of root beer.
I say retarded things more than anything.
But the coolest thing that was lame that I've ever done without thinking was one day I was really bored and I didn't have a computer and I beat all the video games I had, so I decided to see how many bagels I could eat before I got unbored. I ate one and a half and then I felt really sick. I wasn't bored anymore tho. Sorry If I've posted this before, it's my most fav story ever.
I dont know whether to laugh or cryQuote:
Originally Posted by Satsuki
You pussy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Satsuki
One time I was at a restaurant, and this waitress spilled some coffee on me, and I really wasn't thinking rationally but I was pissed, so I flipped out and killed the whole town.
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by GohanX
One time I pour dial liquid soap on my toothbrush.
One time, back in 8th grade, my friend held down this annoying bitch, and I pulled down my shorts and busted some ass on her face. I mean, ass to nose, right on her mug.
Man...good times.
Then... you raped her, right?
Never been my thing.
A fart was enough.
I photographed my friend stuffing a passed out drunken girls nose into his asshole.
This is after we entered her house after it had been partied out, ate all her food, drank all her beer, and found a camera lying around.
It is impossible to get pwned any harder than developing your own roll of film, and seeing a bunch of jerks partying in your crib, drinking your beer, and then seeing your face, with hairy buttcheeks wrapped around it as the final picture on the roll.
One morning, I was half-asleep and trying to get ready to go to class, and I mistook my tube of toothpaste for my tube of hemorrhoid medication....
You can guess the rest.
(Yes, that is a true story.)
Once I was so wrapped up in looking both ways for traffic, I almost mowed down the 80 year old man who was passing in front of my car as I went to pull out.
He hit my car repeatedly with his cane as he cursed me out, but I figured I deserved it.
And then it happened again just last week, but it was a young couple instead of an old man.
That definitely belongs in the next teen sex comedy; it's far too cruel for real life.Quote:
Originally Posted by Icepick
-and: How the hell do you not notice someone sticking your nose up their butt?
Last winter I had a bit of a flu and I came home very feverish and was really out of it, ... I was the only one in the elevator, so I pressed 17, and when the doors opened I got out and went to unlock my door. Just then, my neighbour was coming out of his appartment. My key wasn't working but it often sticks so I kept trying to jiggle it open. Finally I gave up and knocked on the door hoping to be let it. Except that some lady answered instead of sggg asking who I was and what I wanted (and refusing to open the door). Turns out I had gotten off at the 15th floor and my neighbour was apparently moving to the same appartment but two floors down. I was mortified for about 5 minutes. :p
I always check the number on the door now. :lol:
Dude... you put toothpaste in your ass?Quote:
Originally Posted by CynicalSphere
She was so drunk she was almost dead.Quote:
Originally Posted by FuryFox
Ever tried to put the laundry in the fridge, and the groceries in the laundry room?
I admit, the bagel story is really pathetic. But it is my most fav story ever.
Oh, I guess I tried to brush my hair with a tooth brush one time. It didnt have any toothpaste on it tho.
I like the bagel story better.
If only that were the case. I ended up brushing my teeth with hemorrhoid grease.Quote:
Originally Posted by Icepick
Yeah, we know.Quote:
Originally Posted by Satsuki
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satsuki
Couldn't resist...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Icepick
PWN of the year!
A few years ago I was shopping with my sister and Grandpa. I saw a leather jacket I liked but I did not know if it was going to be too small for me or not.
So I put one arm in the jacket that was still hanging from the rack. I figured it would fit okay so I put the other arm in. When Both my arms were in the jacket it fit too small. I tried to get out of the Jacket but I couldn't because I was on my tip toes and the jacket fit tight around the shoulders. Needless to say I was left hanging on a rack at Ross.
:cool:
When I was younger, we used to have this fridge in the garage with tons of soda in in for family parties and whatnot. We were absolutely forbidden from getting soda from the fridge since there was soda in the house. So I was outside playing baseball and I didn't want to go inside to get a soda so I got one from the garage. My sister told on me to my mom so she yelled at me and said I couldn't watch TV for three days.
I was so pissed at my sister that I took my aluminum bat and hit her as hard as I could in her stomach. Knocked the wind out of her for a while and she told on me again. My mom whupped my ass.
Little bitch.
Can't say you didn't deserve it though.
Rumpy! I put you in my sig and this is the thanks I get? You little ingrate!
*hits Rumpy with aluminum baseball bat*
This isn't something I did but funny anyway:
Earlier this week my sister had her test to get her driver's license. She was a little nervous (as everyone is) but had practiced a lot and was ready for it. My mom made sure she had my sister's social security card, birth certificate, and everything else you need if you pass the test.
Well, they were waiting in line to be tested when someone came to check and make sure they had all the proper papers with them. My sister's were all there... but my mom forgot her own license. You need to be driven with a licensed driver to take the test in your won car. Turns out my mom had gone to the bank to cash a check and she went through the drive thru. They needed ID and my mom sent it to them. They sent back the money in an evelope and had put her license in the envelope as well. My mom totally forgot and left it at home. My sister was freaking out.
I think I mentioned before that I tripped my friend in the 8th grade when he was on crutches from having broken his ankle ice skating.
For no reason. I don't know why I did it, or why he doesn't hate me.
Not me, but still bad:
One time I was visiting my buddy who was working at McDonald's at the time. The manager went to the bathroom and left my buddy in charge. So we were talking and nobody was in the place for some reason so he quickly pulled his pants down and crapped in the thing they cook the fries in.
I couldn't believe he did that. Nobody noticed or complained or got sick.
I actually have a simiilar story. I worked at McDs for 2 years, from September '99 - September '01 and one time the bathroom pipe-ing got all backed up. Well, suddenly tellow liquid started to fill the ice containers behind the counters (before we had self-serve drinks) and an employee asked "Who put lemonade in the ice containers?". A few whiffs and we were positive it was urine. After the plumber came he confrimed it. At least a few people got drinks with that ice too.
Oh damn. I've done lots of stupid shit.
There was the time when for absolutely no reason, I leaped out of a second story window during driver's ed class. Sprained my ankle, but the stories people told about that incident were worth it.
There was the time at an amusement park, on a school trip, I saw the handicapped stall open in the bathroom, so I ran for it. I love them, they're like bathroom luxury suites. I sat down, relaxed, kicked back... and failed to notice some dude in a wheelchair racing in behind me, bumping into the door mere seconds after I sat down. Oops. And wouldn't you know it, one of my friends was washing his hands when I came out and the guy went in. And proceeded to tell all of my friends. And the faculty.
I caused a friend to lose a job once. I went into his work (a convenience store) around the same time he did, and I spent most of the day there. Eating free things, hassling customers, and so forth. Now, all of this probably would have been fine, until he left the counter for a few minutes, and I proceeded to jump behind it and start dancing. His higher-ups sure loved that when they saw it on the security tape. Of course, they were looking for a reason to fire him anyway, and I gave it to them. Oops.
I ate a whole habanero pepper. That was unpleasant, to say the very least.
When I was in kindergarten, I saw a handicapped kid with a prosthetic arm, and this was new to me. It didn't look so much like a real arm as something just to grip random objects with, and I was fascinated, and began to ask him lots of questions about his "toy", what it did, and where he got it. I think he was very confused and scared.
Lots more dumb stoires... none come to mind right now, though. I'm waiting for someone this thread to say "I BOUGHT AN N-GAGE ON LAUNCH NIGHT."
YOU CANT PROVE A DAMN THING! :curse:Quote:
Originally Posted by Grave
Once, I started pissing in the Laundry hamper. someone walked into the laundry and saw me, and said "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?", To which I replied "huh? oh, OH! OH SHIT!". The thing is that once you start its kinda hard to stop, and I figured that it'd be easier to clean pissy clothes rather than pissy clothes AND a trail of piss, so I stayed put until I finished.
I went to the ATM today, I put my card in, and then I remember that its a new card and I haven't memorised the PIN yet. My trip to the shops was a complete waste of time.
I pissed on a hobo once.=/
In kindergarten, I got in pretty bad trouble for standing on some girl (she was sleeping) to reach something up in the cupboards.
That was very shitty of me, I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I can say that I didn't do it maliciously, though.
Did you break some ribs?
I posted on GameFAQs message boards (GTA3/Vice City) a couple of times...
that's just the bottom of the barrel my friend... :P
God damn you.Quote:
Originally Posted by cka
I once threw my Wavebird at my face by accident after a particularly frustrating death while playing Ikaruga. Gave me a fat lip that did... :sweat:
I've also done the orange juice in cereal thing, although that worked out oddly nice, chocolate orange cereal |-)
I'm fairly sure I've done other stupid stuff. :nod: