http://www.toastyfrog.com/zine/0102/stupidity.shtml
Which ones apply to you?
I've got 1,6,7,8 downpacked!
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http://www.toastyfrog.com/zine/0102/stupidity.shtml
Which ones apply to you?
I've got 1,6,7,8 downpacked!
This guy must be reading TNLQuote:
3. Don't think - react!
One would think that a key to success as a hardcore gamer would be a set of narrow-minded, dogmatic opinions about games. And that is why so few people become truly hardcore. When you cling only to a single point of view, others have time to build counter-arguments. This is weakness, and it must be purged. Instead, create an illusion of single-mindedness. But rather than basing your opinions on what you know, learn what other people think and then take the opposite stance! This has the dual advantage of making your true thoughts hard to pin down. It also gives you lots of opportunity to proclaim #4:
5. Latch onto something obscure
If a lot of people like something, it must suck. Because people are stupid, right? The fewer people who enjoy a game, the better it really is. Metal Gear Solid 2 is getting rave reviews, but that only proves what "sheeple" everyone else is. Clearly, unpopular games such as Bubsy 3D and Kasumi Ninja are much better. They've been unfairly maligned by the ignorant masses who hang on the every word of EGM and GamePro! If you alone know why something is great, it's a sure sign of how smart you are.
7. Old games are always better
Why do people love new games? Because (#4) they're stupid. Who cares about graphics or depth of gameplay? Old Atari titles sporting the bare minimum of visual variety (and a minimum of anything resembling gameplay) are vastly superior to these silly modern games with their stories and intricate game design.
I don't see how you failed to not mention THIS:
I am convinced all ideas besides the Boris Vallejo t-shirt thing were directly drawn from this site. I think maybe he added that in there just to throw us off the trail. =PQuote:
Originally Posted by toastyfrog
Toastyfrog used to visit GameGO! back in the day.
For real, for for fake?
Wow, this was actually a good read. I thought it would be stupid but it was really interesting. Got a good laugh from them mentioning Gamefan and Takumi and Compile.
---B.j.
#10 describes this place to a T. Also, this is a very funny little article.
Toastyfrog had me up to that line. A true Hardcore! wouldn't ever try to play up being Hardcore! by inserting the tag line from the PS1's early days, for everyone knows that the PS1 truly introduced 3D to the masses, turning the purity of gaming in the SNES/Genesis era into the morass of mainstream generica we have to wade through today in hopes of finding the merest glimmer of quality. So the Holy Text of Gamefan has been polluted by the Satanic Verses of Sony Marketing, revealing Toastyfrog as the gaming heretic we knew he was all along. Burn him!Quote:
If you do not know what chicken, sausages, sheeple and weaksauce are, you are Not Ready.
-ahem-
James
Boris Vallejo
:lol: Those are as bad as those paintings found in Saddam Hussein's love den.
Literally, he was a member. He probably lurks on this board too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracer
:lol: "Chicken" was always my favorite. :)Quote:
If you do not know what chicken, sausages, sheeple and weaksauce are, you are Not Ready.
speaking of GF quotes, can anyone explain the 'strawberry milk' phenomena?Quote:
Originally Posted by Chibi Nappa
Yes.
Strawberry milk: Milk a cow so much and so frequently that you start getting blood from the udders. Apply that senario to releasing game sequals/unorriginal games.
Ahhhh thanks. You needed a geektionary to read GameFan sometimes.
According to Edge Magazine all you have to do to become a hardcore gamer is own a Neo Geo and or a PC Engine (NGPocket doesn't count).
Oh and basically that page is pretty fucking sad. So according to them if you like Treasure etc, unusual, non-mainstream and 2D games then you're somekind of a prick. Now thats being elitist.
I think more likely it's dogging on the pricks that think *only* obscure games are worth playing. Which is pretty much what I assume is wrong with all the MGS2 haters :p
edit: and yes, I recognize that mandatory cutscenes do suck.
Hey.. Boris did some kickass Genesis cover art =P
You know, the only thing I've really ever learned about this hobby is to never actually get genuinely angry over it. I love videogames, I play a lot of videogames, I talk about videogames on the Internet every so often. It's fun, but it's not terribly significant. It's just entertainment. Once you get to that point where it's too significant, where you're screaming at hardware manufacturers on message boards over what you percieve to be PERSONAL ATTACKS MADE AGAINST YOU, shit like that, you need to sit down for a moment. Breathe. Reconsider. It's not a big deal. Whatever it is, seriously, it's not a big deal. Games are fun. The hardcore gamer mentality is too concerned with its underground credibility to have fun with anything.
Reading through this thread reminded me that I hate MGS2.
The only one I got was the first one.
But the article annoyed me,
I'm supposed like all the latest shovelware that is hyped to death when in reality a piece of crap game, and because I still find value in a few older games, I supposed to automaticaly hate everything new?
:lol: Some of you guys have no sense of humor. Even if you don't find it funny, at least know it's a joke and not something the author seriously belives. :p
Those who are taking it personally are upset because perhaps it hits too close to home?
The whole thing is a joke designed to poke fun at fuck tards...
Irk, I got 5/10.....Although sheeple is new to me, ill have to use that.
Tell that to Cubs fans.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sub
How dare he? Is no one else pissed that he said Atari games have little gameplay? They have more gameplay than the cutscene filled drivel people play today!*
*Shh, I'm just kidding. The article is clearly meant to try and upset "Hardcore gamers" thus making them look like fools. In turn, a good time is had by all.
It's toastyfrog. It's satire. Read their Evangelion plot-breakdown and maybe then you'll see this guy isn't being serious.
hehehe...funny article.
I think that's one of the best pieces of satire I've ever read.
I got 1 and 3 through 8 nailed. Now I just need to get rid of my freinds and take everythign seriously and use annoying internet slang and I'm set.
I like his metroid prime review. he's a good writer.
1,2,5,6,10. What, I'm only 50% hardcore!? I must have my work cut out for me. :rolleyes: Here are some topics the author missed-- one's library size, frequency of gaming purchases, gaming collectables, importing, and/or fanboyisms.
I'd say it's less than that... I remember you bitching about F-Zero GX being hard.Quote:
Originally Posted by RedCoKid
#1, 4, 5, 7, & 8 has got me dead on. Though it was good read and a laugh, I was a bit offended though I know it was a joke. Guess I took it like a racist joke, a good laugh with good humor, but a little offended.
Nice memory. You could call me a hardcore wannabe... but how many casual gamers do you know that import 1/3 their games and own 4 systems with ~80 games?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mzo
I've got 4, 5, and 6 down perfectly. Unforunately, #1 betrays me ;_;
1, 2, 4, 5 & 7 fit me perfectly. :confused:
Here we go for me:
1,3,4,5,6,7,8 seem to go my way. 7/10 aint to bad.
I only got 1 and 4. Guess my huge stack of dreamcast games doesn't count for jack.
1 is the only one that really applies to me. I AM NOT TEH H4RDC0R3!
Got em all cept #2. I love poon far too much to be anti social.
Mad hardcore am I.