Beef With the Latest EGM

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23 Dec 2003, 12:57 AM
Mzo

Beef With the Latest EGM

From the review for DDR Ultramix:

Jennifer: "I can hold my own on Light"

I don't see how you can have fun playing on Light, hitting like every fourth beat every minute or so. You're not really playing the game until you can do Standard, at least. Anything she has to contribute to a review is pretty moot, then.

Carrie (from GameNow): "I know hardcore DDR fans will be all about online play and new game modes. But I couldn't care less." Then he complains that there is no way to turn off the 'boos' in the game.

OK, EVERY game should have some sort of online component on the Xbox, and we should be like "Fuck yeah!" when one actually does, not "I don't give a shit." No explanation as to why he doesn't give a shit, either. Um, competition whenever you want from your bedroom, online rankings, downloadable song packs... I think people care about those things. As for the 'boos', here's an easy way to turn them off: don't suck.

Alright, this CJ guy seemed to actually know a thing or two; his review is decent...

BUT, it still doesn't mention the numerous bugs that have been listed, since this is a crappy home version done by the development team that had previously only worked on the PC DDR.

OK, I'm not mad, really, I just find this review useless, and it totally feels like the game was played a couple hours (maybe) on one afternoon, tops.

And they also mention how INCREDIBLY HARD Maximo is in the Army of Zin preview, and how the next game will be more accessible. Bah fucking humbug, the first one was easy enough. That's a little bonus turd in the ish for ya.

This still isn't as bad as Vice City getting all 10's, though.

Man, I love to bitch. LOOK AT ME GO =O
23 Dec 2003, 01:11 AM
MonsterMash

At least DDR got a review. The non-reviews they had to do during the gift giving season are a much bigger problem as far as I'm concerned. Game X that has already gotten a cover article, five different previews, and in general; coverage up the proverbial "wazoo" gets a two page review telling us stuff we've already read before. Game Y (which I might actually want some more information on and an opinion of) gets two sentences that paraphrased reads "This game exists. Thought you might want to know." Inexcusable, and that's from an otherwise EGM fan.
23 Dec 2003, 01:12 AM
cka

So, don't read their reviews.
23 Dec 2003, 01:12 AM
Mzo

=D

I get bored at work, so I read all the magazines.
23 Dec 2003, 01:30 AM
Diff-chan

DDR is for tools.
23 Dec 2003, 02:05 AM
NoboruWataya

I second DiffX.
23 Dec 2003, 02:09 AM
Andy

Third.
23 Dec 2003, 02:14 AM
Rhydant

i dont get why so many people love DDR. its not that great. you step on fucking arrows for christ's sake. its not terribly deep or involving.

pffft.
23 Dec 2003, 03:47 AM
Satsuki

I think it's funny how they make the girls review all the music games. Cause everybody knows, girls suck at real video games. Jumping over pits is like, the hardest thing in the world.
23 Dec 2003, 03:54 AM
Josh

Who let you out of the kitchen and near a computer?
23 Dec 2003, 03:55 AM
Satsuki

My computer is in my kitchen!
23 Dec 2003, 04:03 AM
AaronChance

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhydant

i dont get why so many people love DDR. its not that great. you step on fucking arrows for christ's sake. its not terribly deep or involving.

I don't understand why so many people love Half-life. It's not that great. You shoot rip-offs of the face huggers from Alien for Christ's sake. It's not terribly deep or involving.
23 Dec 2003, 04:08 AM
lithium

Quote:

Originally Posted by Satsuki

I think it's funny how they make the girls review all the music games. Cause everybody knows, girls suck at real video games. Jumping over pits is like, the hardest thing in the world.

They review like 2 music games a year, stop with the imaginary sexism. It's called a coincidence, if even that.
23 Dec 2003, 04:10 AM
Satsuki

Quote:

Originally Posted by lithium

They review like 2 music games a year, stop with the imaginary sexism. It's called a coincidence, if even that.

Okay, I'll go back into my kitchen and make all you sweet boys a sandwich and some lemonade! *kisses*
23 Dec 2003, 04:23 AM
LOL

Everyone, stop it. I've got good news.

I just saved lots of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.
23 Dec 2003, 04:26 AM
Satsuki

Quote:

Originally Posted by omfgninjas

Everyone, stop it. I've got good news.

I just saved lots of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

POTY.
23 Dec 2003, 04:27 AM
Green

Quote:

Originally Posted by Satsuki

Okay, I'll go back into my kitchen and make all you sweet boys a sandwich and some lemonade! *kisses*

Yay! I want me a sammich!
23 Dec 2003, 05:19 AM
Will

Quote:

Originally Posted by omfgninjas

Everyone, stop it. I've got good news.

I just saved lots of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

:lol:
23 Dec 2003, 06:31 AM
Sl1p

Quote:

Originally Posted by Satsuki

I think it's funny how they make the girls review all the music games. Cause everybody knows, blah blah blahgalugaghalbh

EXCUSE ME!

SHUT THE FUCK UP!
23 Dec 2003, 06:53 AM
Green

Was that really necessary, Sl1p?
23 Dec 2003, 07:02 AM
LOL

I will answer for Sl1p: Yes.
23 Dec 2003, 08:35 AM
JMET

Quote:

Originally Posted by omfgninjas

Everyone, stop it. I've got good news.

I just saved lots of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

I second that POTY idea..

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
23 Dec 2003, 10:02 AM
Jeremy

That was fucking awesome, OMFGNinjas.
23 Dec 2003, 10:06 AM
Mzo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Satsuki

Okay, I'll go back into my kitchen and make all you sweet boys a sandwich and some lemonade! *kisses*

That would be tits. Step to it, bitch.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhydant

i dont get why so many people love DDR. its not that great. you step on fucking arrows for christ's sake. its not terribly deep or involving.

pffft.

I suppose you can hold your own in Light mode.

Anyway, it's fun, basically. I like to do fun things.

I used to be one of those guys that was all like "Why is Konami wasting their time with crappy D D R, why don't they make a real game, GRRR" (this was, of course, before the horrid MGS2). So, I hated it forever, and then one day I was talking to my best friend John about games (he was in another state by then) on the phone, and we realized that we had both started getting curious about trying DDR. SO we did, and we sucked, and now we're better. The end.
23 Dec 2003, 10:24 AM
Kidnemo

I really like DDR.

I wouldn't use online play.

You can still have a lot of fun on light/beginner mode I think. Just depends on the skill level.

*shrugs*
23 Dec 2003, 10:30 AM
Jeremy

I love watching folks play DDR. They had a DDR setup at Best Buy during Black Friday, and it was a blast watching people play it. Made the time in line just fly by.
23 Dec 2003, 10:50 AM
Cheebs

That EGM review cracked me up. How thin-skinned is that reviewer that she takes offense to pre-recorded boos being triggered when a line of code is triggered in a program? Oh no! The DDR game is booing me, seriously challenging my sense of self-worth!
:bang:

Good thing she never played 3rd mix. :)

"Are you a monkey?"
"You're not following the music!"
"Did you have breakfast today?"

*Scores a "B" on the song* "Oh! Looks like you have to push yourself harder!"
23 Dec 2003, 11:05 AM
Josh

Quote:

Originally Posted by Satsuki

Okay, I'll go back into my kitchen and make all you sweet boys a sandwich and some lemonade! *kisses*

Good. Iron my shirt while you're at it.
23 Dec 2003, 11:07 AM
Mzo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chibi Nappa

Good thing she never played 3rd mix.

"Are you a monkey?"
"You're not following the music!"
"Did you have breakfast today?"

*Scores a "B" on the song* "Oh! Looks like you have to push yourself harder!"

OMFG that's hilarious. 3rd Mix is probably still my favorite, song wise, despite the constant bashing.

Actually, it's probably unplayable now that I'm used to teh silky smooth MAXes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Icepick

Good. Iron my shirt while you're at it.

And make me some pie.
23 Dec 2003, 01:38 PM
Diff-chan

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ammadeau

I don't understand why so many people love Half-life... It's not terribly deep or involving.

Yes it is.
23 Dec 2003, 01:58 PM
Victrix

No it isn't

yay, opinion wars!
23 Dec 2003, 03:06 PM
Josh

I would like to point out that at this time, my shirt is still wrinkled.

UNACCEPTABLE! You better do something about that, or you might fall down the stairs again...
23 Dec 2003, 03:08 PM
Mzo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Victrix

No it isn't

yay, opinion wars!

Your opinion is wrong.
23 Dec 2003, 04:51 PM
lithium

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kidnemo

I really like DDR.

I wouldn't use online play.

Yup. I'm ridiculously into the game, yet I see no need or even desire for online play. Why? You don't compete against the other player, what they do has no bearing on your game whatsoever. What the other player does bring to the experience is completely lost when they aren't even in the same room. Online ddr is just a stupid idea.
23 Dec 2003, 04:54 PM
Gymkata

Quote:

Originally Posted by Icepick

UNACCEPTABLE! You better do something about that, or you might fall down the stairs again...

A woman doesnt know that you love her unless she has at least two black eyes
23 Dec 2003, 04:55 PM
Mzo

Quote:

Originally Posted by lithium

Why?

You compete for score. Some of us still do that with video games.
23 Dec 2003, 04:55 PM
Ashen Victor

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gymkata

A woman doesnt know that you love her unless she has at least two black eyes

i beat her because i love her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mzo

Your opinion is wrong.

if i wanted your opinion, i'll give it to you.
23 Dec 2003, 05:10 PM
Andy

:lol: @ thread.
23 Dec 2003, 08:01 PM
Diff-chan

Quote:

Originally Posted by lithium

Yup. I'm ridiculously into the game, yet I see no need or even desire for online play. Why? You don't compete against the other player, what they do has no bearing on your game whatsoever. What the other player does bring to the experience is completely lost when they aren't even in the same room. Online ddr is just a stupid idea.

All online games are about putting the pain on fools who don't know what time it is.

Like Mzo.
23 Dec 2003, 08:19 PM
lithium

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mzo

You compete for score. Some of us still do that with video games.

Competing for score is great. But taking a game online solely for that purpose is quite excessive. Outlets like the score attack forum are good proof it's not necessary. Playing DDR online promotes a very minor aspect of the game and demotes the most important aspects of the game.
23 Dec 2003, 08:34 PM
mollipen

Oh my God, they have these games where all you do is shoot stuff. No story, no real ending, no characters, no special moves. What's that about?

Oh my God, they have these games where all you do is play as one character and punch another character. All it is is fighting. That's so stupid!

Oh my God, they have these games where all you do is drive a car! Christ, I can do that in real life! That's so gay!

And so on and so on and so on. People who like one type of game but bash another are idiots because, at the end of the day, they are all some basic concept that somebody will find boring as f**k. Some people play DDR to see how good of a score they can get: isn't that one of the main (and only) reasons that most shooters exist?

And if nothing else, I say that playing DDR is better than playing anything else for one simple reason: people who play DDR are more likely to not be fat f**king couch potatoes like all other game genre players are.
23 Dec 2003, 08:39 PM
Diff-chan

Quote:

Originally Posted by shidoshi

Oh my God, they have these games where all you do is shoot stuff. No story, no real ending, no characters, no special moves. What's that about?

Oh my God, they have these games where all you do is play as one character and punch another character. All it is is fighting. That's so stupid!

Oh my God, they have these games where all you do is drive a car! Christ, I can do that in real life! That's so gay!

Yes, those games are stupid and gay.
23 Dec 2003, 08:40 PM
Roufuss

Quote:

Originally Posted by lithium

Playing DDR online promotes a very minor aspect of the game and demotes the most important aspects of the game.

I thought the most important aspect was to dance...?

Do you mean, when you go online with the xbox version, you're suddenly NOT dancing anymore?
23 Dec 2003, 08:41 PM
Kidnemo

The only thing I don't like about DDR is if I keep playing it, I'll never be able to look foward to getting old and growing hairy flap-jack man-titties.
23 Dec 2003, 09:24 PM
Gymkata

Quote:

Originally Posted by diffusionx

All online games are about putting the pain on fools who don't know what time it is.

Like Mzo.

SIGGED! :chunobi:
23 Dec 2003, 10:04 PM
Reno

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roufuss

I thought the most important aspect was to dance...?

Do you mean, when you go online with the xbox version, you're suddenly NOT dancing anymore?

I think he's talking about the social aspect of playing the game with other people in person. Nothing is funnier than watching a friend "dancing" like a fool. :p
23 Dec 2003, 10:06 PM
Frogacuda

Jenniffer from EGM is a horrible reviewer. 90% of her reviews include asinine complaints about the difficulty, no matter how easy the game is. She really acts like she's going out of her way to play to girl gamer sterotypes, and it's almost offensive. She should go write for a cooking magazine or something; she really drags EGM down.
23 Dec 2003, 11:58 PM
Sl1p

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frogacuda

Jenniffer from EGM is a horrible reviewer. 90% of her reviews include asinine complaints about the difficulty, no matter how easy the game is. She really acts like she's going out of her way to play to girl gamer sterotypes, and it's almost offensive. She should go write for a cooking magazine or something; she really drags EGM down.

Could have been worse..

She could have been Satsuki.
23 Dec 2003, 11:59 PM
Johnny Nighttrain

ok so...im sure im not the only one wondering what went down between the 2 of you...
24 Dec 2003, 12:04 AM
Sl1p

Thats great.
24 Dec 2003, 12:07 AM
Tommy Tallarico

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucas Barton

ok so...im sure im not the only one wondering what went down between the 2 of you...

"OMG we should pretend to hate each other on TNL!!"
"ROTF that would be so funny! ^_^"
"LOLZ"
24 Dec 2003, 12:14 AM
Sl1p

Thats also pretty great, but no. Tell Kano that the theory is wrong for me please.
24 Dec 2003, 12:33 AM
Josh

Kano doesn't care about your petty squabbles... he has bigger fish to fry.

For example: congratulating AFX for placing in the top 3 in a Semi-National Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance Skill Tournament.
24 Dec 2003, 04:37 AM
bbobb

Why is this thread still going?

Can Kano not stop the insanity?
24 Dec 2003, 05:04 AM
Green

Quote:

Originally Posted by bbobb

Why is this thread still going?

Can Kano not stop the insanity?

I'd say so. He switched to geico, he is nearly god-like now.
24 Dec 2003, 05:29 AM
Clash!

I would have to imagine that someone whose job is to play games every day, all the time, all year and write about them would be better at games than I. Yet they complain about games that arn't really that hard (maximo). I wish I could kick them in the stomach. And then grab them by the hair and drag their head into a wall, and then push them to the floor and stomp on their face so that their teeth get all cracked and blood shoots out of their nose like a ketchup bottle. And then grab a waste basket and dump its contensts all over them and go, "You stupid peice of trash!" and then drag them by their feet over to the bath room and stick theie head in the sink and fill it with water and dunk their head in it, all the while yelling, "Get clean trash face! TRASH FACE!" And then shove them on the ground and run and grab the local fire extiguisher and spike it off their stomach, and they will make that, "GROAH!" sound. And then I'll leave, laughing, while they sob bloody tears.
24 Dec 2003, 09:33 AM
Mzo

I agree, Clash. You'd think, after all those games they've played, a modicum of skill would've seeped through despite their best efforts. But Maximo has an insane difficulty level that scares most players away. You have to understand THAT GAME IS NOT HUMAN!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by lithium

Competing for score is great. But taking a game online solely for that purpose is quite excessive. Outlets like the score attack forum are good proof it's not necessary.

As much as I appreciate our Score thread, STFU. Seriously. I like the fact that Midway Arcade Classics has a nationwide (worldwide?) scoreboard. I like the fact that DDR has it, too. Oh, and you can also download song packs online... so there goes that solely part of it. There's a lot of technology out there that isn't fucking NECESSARY, but is very convenient. This is one of them. Never complain about extra features in a game, complain about a lack of them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bbobb

Why is this thread still going?

Because my threads are always DA BOMB, BITCH! HOLLA BACK, PLAYA!

Quote:

Originally Posted by diffx

All online games are about putting the pain on fools who don't know what time it is.

Like Mzo.

So true, so true. But I've yet to see your no-TV-having ass online. SO BRING IT, BITCH!1!!one
24 Dec 2003, 09:36 AM
Mzo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucas B.

ok so...im sure im not the only one wondering what went down between the 2 of you...

DON'T ASK
24 Dec 2003, 09:55 AM
lithium

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mzo

As much as I appreciate our Score thread, STFU. Seriously. I like the fact that Midway Arcade Classics has a nationwide (worldwide?) scoreboard. I like the fact that DDR has it, too. Oh, and you can also download song packs online... so there goes that solely part of it. There's a lot of technology out there that isn't fucking NECESSARY, but is very convenient. This is one of them. Never complain about extra features in a game, complain about a lack of them.

:lol: little, uh, sensitive, are we? Hey if trying to outdo DDRGod1291's AA on Cutie Chaser or Sonic4Ever@$'s B on Paranoia in some soulless online highscore board at home with a homepad is your cup of tea, then by all means. I'll be at the arcade, hanging out with my friends and other area DDRers, playing on a real machine, just enjoying the game, having a great time.
24 Dec 2003, 10:12 AM
Mzo

The two aren't mutually exclusive...

And I'm not very sensitive at all! =D
24 Dec 2003, 10:31 AM
BonusKun

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sl1p

EXCUSE ME!

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Tone it down will ya? If you and Sats want to have it out then do it in the place where you can share it with everyone.
24 Dec 2003, 10:35 AM
Roufuss

Quote:

Originally Posted by lithium

:lol: little, uh, sensitive, are we? Hey if trying to outdo DDRGod1291's AA on Cutie Chaser or Sonic4Ever@$'s B on Paranoia in some soulless online highscore board at home with a homepad is your cup of tea, then by all means. I'll be at the arcade, hanging out with my friends and other area DDRers, playing on a real machine, just enjoying the game, having a great time.

So if you're playing on an xbox, at home, online, you're not having a great time? You know, you CAN invite friends over to your house, play at home, enjoy the game, and have a great time.

It's a good alternative for people who don't have arcades that are close to them, but I don't think you took that into consideration. You're coming as a snob, like "I'm better than you because *I* can play DDR at the arcades LOLZ". Some people also like the comfort of their own home better, and don't want strangers watching them.

Like Mzo said, you should complain about a LACK of features, not because they put a feature in. I don't see how Xbox Live DDR hurts you in such a way that you have to bash it like this. Did it beat your mother or something?

I'm glad, for what it's worth, Konami took the extra step forward and utilized Xbox Live, when they really didn't have to at all. Has TNL become that jaded and bitter we're complaing about companies who have put extra features into their games now? Damn Midway for putting an online scoreboard on Midways Arcade Treasures, what a bunch of assclowns!
24 Dec 2003, 10:41 AM
Mzo

Quote:

Originally Posted by lithium

hanging out with my friends and other area DDRers

Almost forgot... I don't know about your friends, but other area DDRers around here might be good at DDR, but they suck as people. And they're smelly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roufuss

Did it beat your mother or something?

With an ugly stick, I heard.
24 Dec 2003, 10:47 AM
StriderKyo

Quote:

Originally Posted by shidoshi

And if nothing else, I say that playing DDR is better than playing anything else for one simple reason: people who play DDR are more likely to not be fat f**king couch potatoes like all other game genre players are.

That's true; odds are they're fat f**king dancing potatoes in oily sweat-soaked hawaiian shirts with Dragon Ball pictures on them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frogacuda

Jenniffer from EGM is a horrible reviewer. 90% of her reviews include asinine complaints about the difficulty, no matter how easy the game is. She really acts like she's going out of her way to play to girl gamer sterotypes, and it's almost offensive. She should go write for a cooking magazine or something; she really drags EGM down.

Yes but I'd totally nail her, which is what counts here.
24 Dec 2003, 10:50 AM
Cheebs

I feel left out with all the complaining going on, so I'll throw my hat into the ring:

The thing that dissapoints me about Xbox DDR is the lack of songs out of the box. Downloads are nice and all, but at only 5 a month, it's gonna' take a loooooong time to catch up to Extreme's 110 songs.
24 Dec 2003, 11:13 AM
Mzo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chibi

Extreme's 110 songs.

=O
Awesome! Damn my lack of a way to play JPS2 games ;_;
24 Dec 2003, 11:25 AM
Frogacuda

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sl1p

Could have been worse..

She could have been Satsuki.

Satsuki is at least able to pretend she can play games, and not break down and bitch about how "This game hurts my poor girl brain. If only I had a penis then I could be hardcore and beat this game made for 5 year olds". Really, having her in that magazine is almost offensive. I really feel like Jenniffer's inclusion in EGM was a lame attempt to appeal to what the marketing department thought the female audience was.

I don't want non-gamer's perspective on games, that's not why I read EGM. I can ask some asshole in the EB what he thinks if I want the average shmuck's opinion. If think Wario World is "impossibly hard except for the most hardcore veterans" you shouldn't be reviewing games.
24 Dec 2003, 11:35 AM
Mzo

:nod:
24 Dec 2003, 12:25 PM
Diff-chan

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mzo

Because my threads are always DA BOMB, BITCH! HOLLA BACK, PLAYA!

YA HEAR ME NAH RUDE BOY!?

Quote:

So true, so true. But I've yet to see your no-TV-having ass online. SO BRING IT, BITCH!1!!one

Yea, I need a TV first. Hopefully my roommates will buy one so I can leech off them like they leeched off me.
24 Dec 2003, 06:24 PM
Roufuss

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frogacuda

If think Wario World is "impossibly hard except for the most hardcore veterans" you shouldn't be reviewing games.

Wait... is this an actual quote? Someone actually thought Wario World was for "hardcore veterans"?
25 Dec 2003, 03:52 AM
Clash!

Did people really have that much trouble with Maximo? I mean other than having to buy saves I see no problem with it. Coins are fairly easy to come by. I really did not struggle through the game, I thought it had a great difficulty, not super hard, but not super easy. This was the same for a friend of mine who did not have any real difficulty with the game. I sure hope Army of Zin was not toned down to much for these EGM losers.
25 Dec 2003, 04:19 AM
Mzo

ONE
LIFE

Maybe I'll take a picture of my belt. It's huge, and the icons are tiny.

No, the game is not hard.
25 Dec 2003, 04:28 AM
Satsuki

Quote:

Originally Posted by BonusKun

Tone it down will ya? If you and Sats want to have it out then do it in the place where you can share it with everyone.

If Sl1p wants to have it out for me, that's okay, but either put me on ignore or talk to me on AIM or whatever.

Now, I will start on those sandwiches and ironing shirts! What kind of sandwiches does everyone want?
25 Dec 2003, 04:43 AM
Johnny Nighttrain

obviously you're joking and all, but i could soooooo good for a sandwhich right about now. actually, a hotdog would really hit the spot right now.

::moonwalks out of the thread::
25 Dec 2003, 10:07 AM
BonusKun

Quote:

Originally Posted by Satsuki

If Sl1p wants to have it out for me, that's okay, but either put me on ignore or talk to me on AIM or whatever.

No you don't understand.

I'm not asking you, I'm telling both of you.

Keep your love/hate relationship out of the main forums and either take it to FC/AIM/Email/Whatever or I will do it for you.
25 Dec 2003, 10:33 AM
Diff-chan

Quote:

Originally Posted by BonusKun

No you don't understand.

I'm not asking you, I'm telling both of you.

Keep your love/hate relationship out of the main forums and either take it to FC/AIM/Email/Whatever or I will do it for you.

Actually I wanna hear more of it.
25 Dec 2003, 10:37 AM
BonusKun

Quote:

Originally Posted by diffusionx

Actually I wanna hear more of it.

They both know where to go for it.

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