My girlfriend broke up with me tonight...

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Originally Posted by omfgninjas

You're way too young to be throwing the word "love" around.

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You're incorrect. Love has nothing to do with age.

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You're coming off as way more obsessed than in love. If you loved her, you would leave her alone for at least a couple weeks so you could get over her and just be her friend.

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I'm affraid this is something a couple of weeks won't solve. This has be my best friend, my girlfriend, my everything for 2 years. I just don't think I can give up cold turkey like that. I've said it many times before... I'm really weak right now. I just don't see me being able to bring myself to cut ties. Regardless if I think that's the right thing to do or not.

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If you just keep suffocating yourself with her, that's obsessive and is only going to ruin both your relationship and friendship.
The ladder theory is right. You're on her friend ladder now. If you really loved her, you would respect that.

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We had sex the day after we broke up (and to which, she claimed we were making love. Which it really did feel like to me too). I know she's put me somewhere on the friends ladder, but I also believe I'm in limbo inbeteen the boyfriend, and friend ladder. It's just a matter of time before I definitely go one way or another.

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Originally Posted by Rumpy

Seriously, take some time to read about the Ladder Theory I posted earlier. You know the basics of it, but when you read it there's going to be a few times where your going to say out loud, "Damn it, thats happening to me!" You clearly see that she's moved you from her "relationship" ladder to her "friend" ladder. It's over and it's going to jjust piss you off the more she pushes it on you.

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I know what that site will tell me. It will tell me what everyone here is tellign me.

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Let's face it, everyone is saying the same thing so it's up to you to experiance it now and make your own decisions/mistakes on it. It sucks but as time goes on you'll see what's going on. Shit, wait until college. It'll blow your fucking mind.

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Yes, exactly. I really do need to make my own decisions. Sadly, I'm sure it will be the "wrong" ones. As I have a tedency to make the wrong ones.

I may not be going to college (If I do, it will just be a Community College at first)... so I don't know how that will work out.

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Originally Posted by Criticom

Yeah, you're stronger then me..

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Am I? Is crying, punching holes in walls just to make my hands bleed to distract my pain, and coworkers having to restrain me from getting into fights with customers to release frustration stronger then you?

Like I said, it was a couple weeks after the breakup that she talked to me again. I didn't spout off "You're breaking up with me? Bye," right away or anything, I had the benefit of some time away. At the very least, tell her you need some time to think and mull over this for a week or two.

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Because I still feel like there is a little hope (naive again, I know)

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As long as you two spend time together you'll probably always feel like there's hope. I broke up with my first girlfriend and we stayed friends (as it turns out because she harbored the same ideas that most everyone who gets broken up with has), when I tried to date another girl a couple months later my first girlfriend got wind of who she was and her phone number. She called up my new girl and lied to her about me doing stuff with my ex to get her to break up with me so the ex could have another chance with me. Took an entire night of using other people to call my new girl because she refused to talk to me just to figure out what was going on (and gave me an eternal hatred of the line, "You know what you did.") and even though everything got sorted out it destroyed my relationships with both females.

If you dare to harbor hope, never be like my first girlfriend.

P.S. Ladder Theory = Ladder Fact

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Originally Posted by Criticom

This is one thing, I really don't think she is. I think she's more fed up, then over me. I know she still wants to be with me. But she felt held back, which is understandable. That's where working on a lot of my problems come in. I know if she could see that I've changed for the better... then she would be more inclined to want to be with me again.

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You'd be much better off if you would just stop fucking deluding yourself with this shit.

Just say it's over and be done with it.

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Originally Posted by Criticom

I may not be going to college (If I do, it will just be a Community College at first)... so I don't know how that will work out.

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Go to college... whatever you do.

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Originally Posted by Criticom

You're incorrect. Love has nothing to do with age.

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It has nothing to do with age and everything to do with the way you're acting. Unfortunately, you are acting your age.

Don't pretend like you're the first person to ever say "love has nothing to do with my age!" We have all said that. We were all wrong. Everyone here is unanimous in their advice that you should get the fuck away from her because it has happened to all of us and it is entirely true.

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We had sex the day after we broke up (and to which, she claimed we were making love. Which it really did feel like to me too). I know she's put me somewhere on the friends ladder, but I also believe I'm in limbo inbeteen the boyfriend, and friend ladder. It's just a matter of time before I definitely go one way or another.

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Oh shut up. You're acting like you're the first person to ever have post-breakup sex. It happens with 90% of long-term relationships. She's just as torn up about having to break-up with you as you are. The only difference is she isn't being a whiny bitch about it and knows it's the right thing to do. You'll understand soon enough, and like everyone said earlier, you're going to look back on this thread and probably delete it in embarassment.

You got on fine before you were with her. You will get on fine now that you're on your own again. Stop acting like this is such a unique situation for you that no one else has any experience with. You just happen to be "omg I just broke up and still want her"'s 4 billionth customer.

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Originally Posted by Criticom

We had sex the day after we broke up (and to which, she claimed we were making love. Which it really did feel like to me too).

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If felt like that to you because you're still in love with her. Doesn't mean anything about what it actually was or what it actually meant to her.

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Sadly, I'm sure it will be the "wrong" ones. As I have a tedency to make the wrong ones.

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If you learn from them they aren't wrong, perhaps only experience can be your teacher and that means you need to start paying extra attention to what happens from here on out.

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Originally Posted by omfgninjas

It has nothing to do with age and everything to do with the way you're acting. Unfortunately, you are acting your age.

Don't pretend like you're the first person to ever say "love has nothing to do with my age!" We have all said that. We were all wrong. Everyone here is unanimous in their advice that you should get the fuck away from her because it has happened to all of us and it is entirely true.

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The man speaks the truth.

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Originally Posted by bbobb

You'd be much better off if you would just stop fucking deluding yourself with this shit.

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Actually, I can gurentee you that she's not "over" me. She's just sick of being in this relationship, with how we are to each other. I know she still wants to be with me, But she can't. As that's hurting her too much.

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Just say it's over and be done with it.

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I wish.

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Originally Posted by omfgninjas

It has nothing to do with age and everything to do with the way you're acting. Unfortunately, you are acting your age.

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I do love her. I'm sure of that. If I didn't love her. I wouldn't be wrecking myself over all this. The difference is. She's not IN love with me anymore, but I'm still in love with her.

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Don't pretend like you're the first person to ever say "love has nothing to do with my age!" We have all said that. We were all wrong. Everyone here is unanimous in their advice that you should get the fuck away from her because it has happened to all of us and it is entirely true.

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Yes, yet, I'm sure more then 75% of you, got similar advice, and didn't take heed to it. It's good to hear it, yes. But like I've said again, for the 50th time. I'm weak. I'm not strong right now. I don't think I hav the courage to not see her. She's been everythign in my life for 2 years. 2 fucking years. It's near impossible for me to take that 2 years away, and not fucking see her/talk to her anymore.