Top 10 Ways to 'do away' with someone.

So far, only using ideas from users here:

4.Go into someone's house at night with a large rusty nail, a dull rusty hacksaw, a hammer, some gasoline, and a match. Nail the person's right hand down to either the floor, or a large piece of wooden furniture. Then drench the house with gasoline. Give the person two choices; burn alive, or cut through their right arm with a rusty saw. Light the place on fire and see what happens.

3.Boil a pack of cigarettes. Take the tar floating on the top of the water and put it in a container. Spread tar on the underside of a car door handle, or the underside of a door knob. The nicotine will be absorbed in the skin of the person who touches the tar. The amount of nicotine will be too much for the human heart to handle, leading to a heart attack.

2.mixing arsenic with water and pretending to sneeze in to a tissue but the tissue really conceals the visene bottle with this stuff in it, pouring it in to the air and instantly killing all who sniff in. It would look like a heart attack.

I saw this on public television!

1. Re-enacting FF8 opening scene, but opponent has no sword.

Post some ideas. They may make the top 10!

(and it needs 9 more ways, you stupid idiots.)

NOTE: If you think the order should be changed, say so!

mixing arsenic with water and pretending to sneeze in to a tissue but the tissue really conceals the visene bottle with this stuff in it, pouring it in to the air and instantly killing all who sniff in. It would look like a heart attack.

I saw this on public television!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Andrew

mixing arsenic with water and pretending to sneeze in to a tissue but the tissue really conceals the visene bottle with this stuff in it, pouring it in to the air and instantly killing all who sniff in. It would look like a heart attack.

I saw this on public television!

---

we have our #2!

don't forget the public television part.

Is there anything it can't do?

Added.

Go into someone's house at night with a large rusty nail, a dull rusty hacksaw, a hammer, some gasoline, and a match. Nail the person's right hand down to either the floor, or a large piece of wooden furniture. Then drench the house with gasoline. Give the person two choices; burn alive, or cut through their right arm with a rusty saw. Light the place on fire and see what happens.

Boil a pack of cigarettes. Take the tar floating on the top of the water and put it in a container. Spread tar on the underside of a car door handle, or the underside of a door knob. The nicotine will be absorbed in the skin of the person who touches the tar. The amount of nicotine will be too much for the human heart to handle, leading to a heart attack. :xx:

I think it would take a few more packs of cigarettes. Like 20.

1. Kidnap a rich person
2. Find a homeless escape goat
3. Ransom the rich person off
4. Create a chase scene at which you "die"
5. During the chase you kill the person that you wanted to kill from the begining
6. Fake your own death, use homeless escape goat as dead body
7. You're done; your rich, have a new indentity, you killed the perosn you wanted to kill.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by gamevet

Boil a pack of cigarettes. Take the tar floating on the top of the water and put it in a container. Spread tar on the underside of a car door handle, or the underside of a door knob. The nicotine will be absorbed in the skin of the person who touches the tar. The amount of nicotine will be too much for the human heart to handle, leading to a heart attack. :xx:

---

That one's sweet, would that actually work?

Was that what they did in the Jackal?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by nakkato

Top 10 Ways to 'do away' with someone.

---

Here's one: (we're getting too lax in this anyway)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Megatron

1. Kidnap a rich person
2. Find a homeless escape goat
3. Ransom the rich person off
4. Create a chase scene at which you "die"
5. During the chase you kill the person that you wanted to kill from the begining
6. Fake your own death, use homeless escape goat as dead body
7. You're done; your rich, have a new indentity, you killed the perosn you wanted to kill.

---

I hate you.

And wtf is a "homeless escape goat"?

For someone who claims to be a genius, you sure are a fucking moron.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mzo

Here's one: (we're getting too lax in this anyway)

---

Did I mention how pitiful the flames I have been getting are?

Damn, didn't work.

See, you gotta get them RIGHT when they start. Balls. :|

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by nakkato

Did I mention how pitiful the flames I have been getting are?

---

Hey, Butthurt McDouchebag. Did I mention how much you deserve them for being such a blatant moron? Go get yourself a Livejournal if you feel like angsting somewhere.

.....you can always shoot them in the head with a gun.

...or with lightning from your vagina.

That too!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Icepick

And wtf is a "homeless escape goat"?

---

You ride it in the "chase scene". Geez.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mzo

Here's one: (we're getting too lax in this anyway)

---

Hey, my Ash STFU pic...haven't seen that in a while. You're right, we're too laid back here lately. ;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sl1p

Hey, Butthurt McDouchebag. Did I mention how much you deserve them for being such a blatant moron? Go get yourself a Livejournal if you feel like angsting somewhere.

---

I've recieved better insults from a six year old girl at a catholic school.

And must you carry on with this pitiful "OMG STFU NEWBIE" crap in every one of my threads? Seriously. No one else seems to have a problem with me but you.

And if you are going to insult me, at least use some of your best insults.

It's only the STFU Newbie pic. Why are you getting uptight about it?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Megatron

1. Kidnap a rich person
2. Find a homeless escape goat
3. Ransom the rich person off
4. Create a chase scene at which you "die"
5. During the chase you kill the person that you wanted to kill from the begining
6. Fake your own death, use homeless escape goat as dead body
7. You're done; your rich, have a new indentity, you killed the perosn you wanted to kill.

---

A) How are you going to fake your own death? They'll see you crawling away from the car.

B) Dental records will show that the homeless guy is clearly not you.

C) The bank accounts will have traces on it and the moment you touched it alarms would set off.

D) How would you "get a new identity"?

E) Nakkato, don't put this ridiculous and retarded idea on the list.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Andrew

A) How are you going to fake your own death? They'll see you crawling away from the car.

B) Dental records will show that the homeless guy is clearly not you.

C) The bank accounts will have traces on it and the moment you touched it alarms would set off.

D) How would you "get a new identity"?

E) Nakkato, don't put this ridiculous and retarded idea on the list.

---

I think he watched "The Whole 9 Yards" but didn't pay attention.

I haven't seen that movie and I can clearly see the holes in his plan.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Calliander

It's only the STFU Newbie pic. Why are you getting uptight about it?

---

I have issues outside the realm of this forum... :confused:

... and I'm not really getting uptight about the pic, I'm getting uptight about this stupid newbie hazing crap, and how he's gotten into basically all of my threads about it.

This forum is all about starting conversations of sorts, right?

All I have been doing is creating conversation like everyone else here, and I don't see why I should get slammed for not being around as long as someone else.

you could stab someone with a pointy stick.

...but back on topic.

Throwing someone into a wood chipper...

Wait, that's not enough. Let's put all the people we don't like on a conveyer belt and toss all of them into the wood chipper one after another.

And then burn their chopped up pieces.

And then feed those pieces to animals in the rain forest.

Look, we have an Assembly Line of Death and we're saving the rain forest!

Binding someone by the hands with rope and slowly lowering them feet first into a whirling helicopter propeller...

or a pit of boiling water.

Ok here is one, take a fine wire with retractable barbs, inert into their arm veins till the wires are up to their shoulders, then press the button and have the retractable barbs poke out, then attatch the end of the wire to a car and driveoff quickly, ripping the veins out of their arms and let them bleed to death.



(why yes, i had a rough day at work, how could you guess?)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lobo

Go into someone's house at night with a large rusty nail, a dull rusty hacksaw, a hammer, some gasoline, and a match. Nail the person's right hand down to either the floor, or a large piece of wooden furniture. Then drench the house with gasoline. Give the person two choices; burn alive, or cut through their right arm with a rusty saw. Light the place on fire and see what happens.

---

That sounds like a complete rip-off of a scene in Mad Max. :p

The bad dude is trapped inside of his car and it's leaking gasoline. Max pulls him out of the car and handcuffs him to the door. He then hands the guy a hacksaw and tells him: Those handcuffs are made of tensiled steel. It would take you about 10 minutes to cut through them with that hacksaw, or you could cut your hand off in 2 minutes. Meanwhile, a stream of gas is slowly trickling towards a small flame.

also, it rips of watchmen a bit.

i got this from a book. Get a long stick, pointed at the end but not sharp. it should be like 8 or 9 feet in height and as big as a upper arm around. Stick it in the ground so its sticking out at an angle, like 85. Shove the stick up someone's ass. gravity will to its work until the stick finally kills them by poking through the neck. Also, blood loss and starvation is a plus and the blunt end of the stick will not puncture any of the major internal organs so you can torture them longer. My favorite, grabbing a foot and yanking down on it.

jesus christ, force someone to read this thread. They'll just commit suicide and save you the trouble of "offing" them.

poop in they soda

Put them on a 100 foot platform in the hottest months of the summer, they can either die from over-exposure to the sun's UV rays (assuming they have lighter skin) or jump off and die.

Scrap the teflon off a frying pan and slide the shavings into a cigarette. The fumes will cause whoever smokes it to go into cardiac arrest.

You guys fucking suck at murder

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gohron

Put them on a 100 foot platform in the hottest months of the summer, they can either die from over-exposure to the sun's UV rays (assuming they have lighter skin) or jump off and die.

---

Or slide back down the pole holding them up.

keep some one awake for days. so that they only get short cat naps of like 30 minutes but never get any rem sleep. they will go insane and then die.

:D

i like the whole flesh eating bacteria idea. just tie them up, release and watch it work.

Can you actually watch it work? How long does it take?

oh i'd imagine you could just keep them in an airtight room (dry food and water to sustain them longer) the little i know about flesh eating bacteria is it starts out as an infection. what I'd do it scratch them, on the stomach perhaps, and inject the wound with the bacteria. (i'd be in a suit to keep from being contaimenated) then I'd leave the room, let them think it was some horrible kidnapping thing and watch them slowly realize that they need medical attention because their wound is get far far worse at an alarming rate.

ooh the fun.

video. replays. :D

I'd imagine it would take weeks to finally kill them (that is if you're not starving or dehydrating them)

old but good, feeding alive to wild ravounous animals. like dogs or pigs.

starvation is slow and horrible, but dehydration is pretty quick (3 days average)

chinese water torture is a good one. i've heard that after a while the water etched a hole in the skull (they're already dead by then of course)

Oh oh disposal of bodies anyone? discuss?

edit- I'd also like to skin someone alive and watch them bleed to death, screaming. i think i'd have to use a sharp knife and i'd probably need to have someone help me hold them down if i didnt drug them.

the best way of desposing of a body I've ever heard of is taking chicken wire, wrapping the body and several large rocks with it, and dropping in into a very populated river.

Your always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently, the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
Then when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because there's no good in leaving it in a deep freeze for your mum to discover now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You gotta starve the pigs for a few days then the sight of a chopped up body would look like curry to a pissant. You gotta shave the head of your victim and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggy's digestion. You could do this afterwards of course but you don't wanna go sifting through pig shit now do ya? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to do the job in one sitting so be weary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs two-hundred pounds in about...eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of un-cooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression: "as greedy as a pig."

to quote Howard Stern, " I haven't seen the Brad Pitt movie, but I do like snatch."

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Andrew

A) How are you going to fake your own death? They'll see you crawling away from the car.

B) Dental records will show that the homeless guy is clearly not you.

C) The bank accounts will have traces on it and the moment you touched it alarms would set off.

D) How would you "get a new identity"?

E) Nakkato, don't put this ridiculous and retarded idea on the list.

---

(5. During the chase you kill the person that you wanted to kill from the begining. This was my true objective, nothing else.)

I hate when I have go into details, so I won't. But your questions are valid, so I will try to answer them.

A. I would drive the car into a underground parking garage where I put, early a bomb that woud decimate the whole underground garage.

B. This is true, but it would take them some time to dig up the body parts of homeless escape goat.C :D . I don't care about the money, because off step 6. I was just having fun.

D. When your in Mexico, London etc... you can change your identity.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Megatron

homeless escape goat.

---

You did it again, apeman.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by nakkato

I have issues outside the realm of this forum... :confused:

... and I'm not really getting uptight about the pic, I'm getting uptight about this stupid newbie hazing crap, and how he's gotten into basically all of my threads about it.

This forum is all about starting conversations of sorts, right?

All I have been doing is creating conversation like everyone else here, and I don't see why I should get slammed for not being around as long as someone else.

---

Eh, it'll be over soon. At least you didn't post a thread introducing yourself. :)

Wouldn't the cops see you running away from the car? Not to mention there'd probably be a helicopter circling about...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Andrew

And it's scape goat.

---

Damn you! We were seeing how long he would go saying escape goat!!!

:D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Calliander

Eh, it'll be over soon. At least you didn't post a thread introducing yourself. :)

---

And to think some people actually allocate forum space to that sort of crap.

We can do away with people by giving them a forum like that here....
:lol:

Don't take it personal. Mzo is the worst of the lot.

Anyway, Calliander take the quote out of your post. I don't think he's seen it yet so we can do away with the spoiler. I've already edited my post.

Um, he was bitching about Sl1p, first off.

And I'm hardly the worst of the lot around these parts.

EDIT: wait, I forgot we're the same person. My bad.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mzo

EDIT: wait, I forgot we're the same person. My bad.

---

Hmm. Amnesia?

Or just stupid? I hear stupid is all the rave these days.

Quote:

---

Mzo0 (1:15:43 AM): Say something funny.
Sl1p For Reals (1:16:32 AM): Watashi wa taco
Mzo0 (1:16:36 AM): perfect
Sl1p For Reals (1:16:41 AM): =D
Mzo0 (1:17:31 AM): The "taco" is classic Sl1p.
Sl1p For Reals (1:17:46 AM): Yes, as is the smiley. Thats how you seperate your accounts
Sl1p For Reals (1:17:54 AM): Mzo wouldn't use that gay shit
Sl1p For Reals (1:17:56 AM): But Sl1p goes =D
Sl1p For Reals (1:17:57 AM): XD!!!
Sl1p For Reals (1:17:59 AM): <3
Sl1p For Reals (1:18:07 AM): And Satsuki goes ^_^
Mzo0 (1:18:12 AM): Hell, I started doing that a bit, too.
Sl1p For Reals (1:18:21 AM): XD! is ME BABY...ME
Mzo0 (1:18:23 AM): Oh, and >_O
Mzo0 (1:18:34 AM): Man, the lines are blurring.
Mzo0 (1:18:40 AM): I don't even know who I am anymore.
Sl1p For Reals (1:18:44 AM): MAHAHAHA

---

I think I saw this on TV a while back, I can't really remember... but the gist of it went like this:

Tie a guy in a chair naked, or at least with his pants off. Set up a shotgun pointed right at his head. With series of fishing line and a couple of pulleys, attach the other string to the man's penis so that if he gets a stiffy, it will pull the string and BOOM he's dead.

Then have two knockout gorgeous hookers come in and start kissing, groping, get naked etc.

Evil.

So are there gonna be updated rankings or what ?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by GohanX

I think I saw this on TV a while back, I can't really remember... but the gist of it went like this:

Tie a guy in a chair naked, or at least with his pants off. Set up a shotgun pointed right at his head. With series of fishing line and a couple of pulleys, attach the other string to the man's penis so that if he gets a stiffy, it will pull the string and BOOM he's dead.

Then have two knockout gorgeous hookers come in and start kissing, groping, get naked etc.

Evil.

---

I think sex, would be the last thing on my mind, if I had a shotgun tied to my penis. :wtf:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Thief~Silver

I think it would take a few more packs of cigarettes. Like 20.

---

How would you spread the tar from 20 packs of cigarettes on a door knob? It's one thing to smoke 4 packs of cigarettes in a day, but to have the equivalent of 20 cigarettes in 1 minute is devastating. Cigarettes cause the arteries to narrow. With a huge dose of nicatine, the passage ways are narrowed down to near unflowing. It's not something I made up. I've actually heard of military books that outline the technique.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by GohanX

Then have two knockout gorgeous hookers come in and start kissing, groping, get naked etc.

---

Give your victim hot wimmens before they go? How nice... :p

I can't believe I never looked at this thread until now. There's some quality stuff here.

Here is a easy one if you can find a live grenade.

Sneak in house.
Get a glass jar or cup that the grenade will fit firmly in.
Pull pen, but keap your hand firmly around it as to not let the release go.
Set the grenade firmly into the jar.
Set grenade on top of the front door's door nob.
Leave. (by another door)

Its best to do this early in the morning, so you have a full day to get far far away.

When they get home, they try to open the door, which makes the jar fall off, hits floor, heavy grenade breaks glass, nothing is holding the grenade together, boom.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by negitoro

So are there gonna be updated rankings or what ?

---

Sorry, I've been out for the weekend and such, and the thing is that I would have no idea what order to put them in at the moment, which is why I think people should start nominating ideas for open spots or something.

I hate organizing chaos...

If you wanted someone to die in a dark and lonely place, dig a celler in the ground that'll have the doors from the top about 10ft off floor level and don't supply any light. Have the walls and floors cemented so the person cannot try digging their way out and leave a piss bucket for him to do his business in.

Now just leave him there for as long as possible with enough jugs of water to last him more then 10+ days. From the stench and darkness alone, he'll go insane as he accepts the possibility of being rescued will never happen and the hunger will bother him more so. More then likely after the 3rd day he'll start seeing things and that should be enough to drive them over the edge.

Also if you leave behind a glass shard, chances are they'll use it.

That stick up the ass for torture was done back in the day. I had a class called Human Suffering (or something like that) and we went over torture devices in the dark ages and shit. There were some fucked up people back then. Really horrible stuff.

30+ min of He asphyxiation. Quick, clean, painless. Saw it on an euthanasia site.

Also, mast'n with a belt strapped around the neck. A couple teens inadvertently made the news a decade ago for that.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by nakkato

And to think some people actually allocate forum space to that sort of crap.

We can do away with people by giving them a forum like that here....
:lol:

---

Fight Club.

Ask for Jeremy.