The Weirdest, Dumbest Shit People Have Said To You (or others you know)

"This beer will help your sex life".
My Dad, eating dinner with my mom and myself.

"(Going into the forest with your guy friends too much means) you will catch the gay".
My Dad.

"I'm confused: You're a black guy; exactly why do you hang out with us?" Some guy with braids in his hair.

"Can I price match this to the American price?"
Some customer.

"I don't mean to alarm you, but there's a negro fella with a backpack in your store". A customer to a white co-worker of mine.

"Do black people comb their hair?" An ex-friend of mine.

There's more but I can't remember them right now.

Wow, being black in Canada must suck (or something).

EDIT: 5000th post! Go me!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Frogacuda

Wow, being black in Canada must suck (or something).

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I grew up with a group of predominantly white dumbasses. I still hang out with white people, they're just less stupid.

Also, keep in mind that this list of quotes is pretty unrepresentative of the jackassery I've encountered. This is the shit that came to mind first.

Regarding race relations, there's no other country in the world I'd want to live in other than Canada.

Me and my friends were sitting in front of a store once eating and some guy came up to us with long hair and a hippie sort of attitude to him and said "You can't congregate here man, I've been there, done that before, you should go to the park, you can't congregate here man." After that he walked in the store and walked by us like a normal person would on the way out of the store.

Fuck it, wrong thread.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Brisco Bold

Regarding race relations, there's no other country in the world I'd want to live in other than Canada.

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Same. As for dumb shit people tell me...

"I like watching Newlyweds" pretty much sums up human stupidity.

No as much dumb as bad English but my moms says "You. Shut your mouth!" when she is pissed at me.

A friend and I were leaving a Dennys one night when some hobo guy walks up to my friend who's about drive off. I forgot what he went on about, but my friend gave him a dollar (to make a phone call I think) and then the guy thanked us, saying, "it's like they say in the Bible, you eat what you sow".
Some old creep walks into the baitstore I work at with his friend who has to hold something to his neck to talk. We sell knives, and he grabs one and unsheathes it and says, "heh, aught to take this to the titty bar tonight".
Some guy comes in and mumbles, "cll nin I com si". I'm like, what? "cll th cps I'm gnn cmm id". Sorry, I don't know what you're saying. He then holds up his bloody wrists. "Call the cops, please, I'm gonna commit suicide."
"I know there's monks out there who can jump twenty feet straight up", my friend on martial arts abilities.
Oh, here's a good race one. My mom, to my dad (I was in 9th grade): so what if Cole comes home with a black girl? Dad: huh, he better not. Rock on, dad.

Dude, there's no black people in Canada. Stop spreading lies.

A friend of mine who was my roommate at the time was reading a handout from one of his classes. Part of it said he had to make a handout for the class as part of the project. He looks up and says to me-

"What's a handout?"

He was completely serious. It was about the funniest thing ever. Nice guy, but a bit slow on the draw sometimes.