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i got these 2 back to back. Just made me laugh thinking about the diverse range of importance of the things we bitch about.
" I think Chechens are fucking awesome. I hope they take over Russia one day and kill all those stupid Bible-loving bitches. "
" I just ate an entire can of baby corns. I feel kind of gross. "
HA, I remember looking at this a long time ago, when you were going to post some and pretend they were your confessions.
There was this perfect one that said something to the tune of "I used the internet to steal money from lots of gay men and I'm not ashamed, I'd do it again," and I was like ECM??
Because you guys are gay. GET IT??
Go to bedQuote:
Originally Posted by Mzo
I believe this news.Quote:
Originally Posted by Opaque
But this guy's a pathological liar. He invented a girlfriend to feel better. 5 bucks says it's not 5 inches.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mman
when I was 5 I pushed some kid off a wall. they landed on their head and were taken away by ambulance. I told the teacher it was someone else who did it and they got punished. When the kid came back he was never the same. He was kept back a year for being 'too slow'. And left school at 16 to work as a binman. I feel sure there may be a connection....
one night on my way back from campus library i was followed by three guys, and i was getting kind of nervous having to walk about a mile to my dorm. they were well dressed, looking like they just left the library as well. i sped up and they followed and finally one of them stopped me by grabbing my shoulder. they told me to follow them, so i did and they took me into some nearby woods. they held me at knifepoint the entire time. they then told me to take off my clothes and bend over this log. hearing this i knew what was going to happen and i wasnt going to live with myself after i knew what was probably going to happen. so i took off running and they chased. the guy with the knife grabbed me and sliced my back, so i turned and hit him and took the knife. i stabbed him in the stomach. the other two guys caught up to us and got scared and ran off. i dropped the knife and ran to my dorm. this happened 2 years ago.
I was raped as a child, and was once told that child rape was a virus, and the virus got into you via rapes, and then when you grew up, it gave you the urge to rape other children. That's how the virus propigates.
I am so scared of this, I avoid children, and will never marry a woman who wants children. I have avoiding going to people's houses who have children. I once moved out of an apartment because they built a playground across the street. I shop at night so I won't see as many children. I am afraid if a child touches me, they will "wake up the virus," even though it seems like illogical fantasy. I have never had the desire to have sex with them, but I am afraid I will "get it" someday, so I treat children as if they are plague carriers. I thought it was unnoticable until an old college friend started joking about me being afraid of kids with, "Come on, my daughter doesn't bite."
I stopped speaking to him.
A former flat-mate once confided that she'd been through an horrific rape ordeal (held at gun-point, made to strip, etct etc). I was genuinely appalled and did my best to help her deal with the memory. Along the way, I introduced her to drugs, alcohol and late nights. We ended up shagging. It was the single worst shag I've ever had, but she seemed to fall for me in a big way. Instead of telling her I didn't want a relstionship, I brought home and slept with a number of girls. Theww last of which was a stripper. She caught us having sex in the bath. I had to find a new flat. A year later, I heard she'd committed suicide.
When I was a teenager, one of my best friends got mad at this girl for being a total snob, so we broke into her locker, and stole everything: her purse, her textbooks, her jacket... we even stole the stupid plastic mirror glued to the door. We left nothing but a few stickers and some lint.
She never said a word or acted like anything was wrong (we knew it was her stuff, it had her ID in her purse and her name on everything), and we were just itching to ask her, "So... where's your purse?" but we were paranoid she was playing the waiting game to flush us out. That was in 1985. She's probably still waiting...
Also, while she was sleeping with us in a hotel room during a field trip, she started moaning out characters Harrison Ford had played at the time, like she was being courted by them. "No, no, Han Solo... that's okay, I have another skirt. Indiana Jones bought me this necklace..." All of us were nearly dying laughing. When she woke up, we never told her, but for YEARS we kept making private jokes in front of her, which irritated her to no end. "Julie, I saw this necklace in at the mall the other day, which just SCREAMED Indiana Jones..."
Sorry, Jenny. We were just stupid teens.
And, the kicker:
When I was 12, I masturbated while imagining a cheerleader from a video game called Tecmo Bowl (the part where the skirt pops up and shows a little bit of panty).
Man was that pathetic.
Dude... fucking score.Quote:
Originally Posted by MVS
Hermaphrodite's are infertile by the way.
And.. this is kinda depressing, you may not believe most of them, and in all truth I doubt that most of these people have experianced them.. but I will bet you those 5 bucks earlier that all those events, apply to one person alive today. (Anything not involving time travel or something impossible)
Quote:
I was raped as a child, and was once told that child rape was a virus, and the virus got into you via rapes, and then when you grew up, it gave you the urge to rape other children. That's how the virus propigates.
I am so scared of this, I avoid children, and will never marry a woman who wants children. I have avoiding going to people's houses who have children. I once moved out of an apartment because they built a playground across the street. I shop at night so I won't see as many children. I am afraid if a child touches me, they will "wake up the virus," even though it seems like illogical fantasy. I have never had the desire to have sex with them, but I am afraid I will "get it" someday, so I treat children as if they are plague carriers. I thought it was unnoticable until an old college friend started joking about me being afraid of kids with, "Come on, my daughter doesn't bite."
I stopped speaking to him.
If that one is true, that is really, really messed up.
lso, while she was sleeping with us in a hotel room during a field trip, she started moaning out characters Harrison Ford had played at the time, like she was being courted by them. "No, no, Han Solo... that's okay, I have another skirt. Indiana Jones bought me this necklace..." All of us were nearly dying laughing. When she woke up, we never told her, but for YEARS we kept making private jokes in front of her, which irritated her to no end. "Julie, I saw this necklace in at the mall the other day, which just SCREAMED Indiana Jones..."
HAHAHA
Comedy gold.