Crappy Game Manuals

I remember quite awhile ago, I made a thread about how back in the "good old" days, used to make whatever shit they could in a game manual, no matter how ridiculous it was, due to the lack of in-game plots in most of these games.

Of course, Konami of America is the no.1 culprit. Anyone who picks up any manual from their NES library will know how awful they were, often contradicting the original designer's intentions (the original Metal Gear being the perfect example of this) and at the same time adding a retarded sense of humor that would be insulting to anyone over the ages of four.

Of course, I've also heard that Capcom USA's manuals weren't very good either (although nowhere near as bad as KoA). I heard many accusation from Street Fighter and Mega Man fans regarding the inconsistent characterizations between the original Japanese canon and Capcom USA's literature regarding the series. I don't know about Street Fighter and Mega Man stuff, but I do own a copy of Biohazard: Director's Cut and I'm surprised that the character profiles in there are hardly parallel to what Capcom USA included in the US manual. (such as Kenneth's position in STARS. He's supposed to be a recon specialist, no mention of him being a chemist).

Also, Sega seems to have written some inconsistent translations too in their past (as I've seen in the Sonic and Shinobi games).

I'll provide some excerpts if anyone is interested.

The manual for Turok: Evolution looks like it was written over the weekend by the intern who brought coffee to the guys who programmed the game in that same weekend.

Manuals have always been bathroom reading material for me ... get the game, play for 4 hours .. take a dump .. play for 4 hours .. pass out.

I always figure, if a game is good .. the controls/secrets will be self-evident in the game. The only time I reference a manual is if it has cool maps .. or detailed history.

The original Pirates! was one of the first manuals I read before I played the game .. it was fascinating. It actually had a history on piracy, ships and internation affairs.

95% of NES manuals were insulting. I just used them to write the 50 character passwords on them.

.PDF files

oh...you mean crappy backstories...

Doom! There is a lot of stuff that could have been done.

I haven't read through a game manual in years. Damn near every game today has a tutorial mode or guides you through the first couple missions/levels. Most games also gradually introduce new gameplay concepts and ideas so you're not overwhelmed by everything when you first start to play the game. The only time I pick up a manual is when I'm not sure exactly how a certain aspect of a game works, usually in RPG's.

Twisted Metal: Black had a nice manual, with a notebook style used to document the mental patients. I rarely used NES ones since there were only so many buttons, and it would only take a minute or two to learn the basics.

Even though I don't read the manuals, I do really appreciate it when some effort is put into making them look nice and designing them to the theme of the game. I can't remember any specific games at the moment, but I've bought some games recently that have come with terrific packaging, and some with really crappy 10 page black and white books.

Warcraft and Starcraft manuals were always awesome. They had backstories and in-depth character descriptions.

Wario Ware for Gamboy SP had an awesome manual. It had stickers!!!

The Grand Theft Auto series' manuals, although clever, are just filled with fake adds and don't provide nearly enough information needed for someone new to the series to understand how the game works.

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Originally Posted by Jeremy

Twisted Metal: Black had a nice manual, with a notebook style used to document the mental patients.

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Best. Manual. Ever.