Crappy Game Manuals

I remember quite awhile ago, I made a thread about how back in the "good old" days, used to make whatever shit they could in a game manual, no matter how ridiculous it was, due to the lack of in-game plots in most of these games.

Of course, Konami of America is the no.1 culprit. Anyone who picks up any manual from their NES library will know how awful they were, often contradicting the original designer's intentions (the original Metal Gear being the perfect example of this) and at the same time adding a retarded sense of humor that would be insulting to anyone over the ages of four.

Of course, I've also heard that Capcom USA's manuals weren't very good either (although nowhere near as bad as KoA). I heard many accusation from Street Fighter and Mega Man fans regarding the inconsistent characterizations between the original Japanese canon and Capcom USA's literature regarding the series. I don't know about Street Fighter and Mega Man stuff, but I do own a copy of Biohazard: Director's Cut and I'm surprised that the character profiles in there are hardly parallel to what Capcom USA included in the US manual. (such as Kenneth's position in STARS. He's supposed to be a recon specialist, no mention of him being a chemist).

Also, Sega seems to have written some inconsistent translations too in their past (as I've seen in the Sonic and Shinobi games).

I'll provide some excerpts if anyone is interested.

The manual for Turok: Evolution looks like it was written over the weekend by the intern who brought coffee to the guys who programmed the game in that same weekend.

Manuals have always been bathroom reading material for me ... get the game, play for 4 hours .. take a dump .. play for 4 hours .. pass out.

I always figure, if a game is good .. the controls/secrets will be self-evident in the game. The only time I reference a manual is if it has cool maps .. or detailed history.

The original Pirates! was one of the first manuals I read before I played the game .. it was fascinating. It actually had a history on piracy, ships and internation affairs.

95% of NES manuals were insulting. I just used them to write the 50 character passwords on them.

.PDF files

oh...you mean crappy backstories...

Doom! There is a lot of stuff that could have been done.

I haven't read through a game manual in years. Damn near every game today has a tutorial mode or guides you through the first couple missions/levels. Most games also gradually introduce new gameplay concepts and ideas so you're not overwhelmed by everything when you first start to play the game. The only time I pick up a manual is when I'm not sure exactly how a certain aspect of a game works, usually in RPG's.

Twisted Metal: Black had a nice manual, with a notebook style used to document the mental patients. I rarely used NES ones since there were only so many buttons, and it would only take a minute or two to learn the basics.

Even though I don't read the manuals, I do really appreciate it when some effort is put into making them look nice and designing them to the theme of the game. I can't remember any specific games at the moment, but I've bought some games recently that have come with terrific packaging, and some with really crappy 10 page black and white books.

Warcraft and Starcraft manuals were always awesome. They had backstories and in-depth character descriptions.

Wario Ware for Gamboy SP had an awesome manual. It had stickers!!!

The Grand Theft Auto series' manuals, although clever, are just filled with fake adds and don't provide nearly enough information needed for someone new to the series to understand how the game works.

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Originally Posted by Jeremy

Twisted Metal: Black had a nice manual, with a notebook style used to document the mental patients.

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Best. Manual. Ever.

I only ever used to read the game manuals on the way back from buying it in the car. Now I have a games retailer up the road, so that never happens.

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Originally Posted by Swift

The Grand Theft Auto series' manuals, although clever, are just filled with fake adds and don't provide nearly enough information needed for someone new to the series to understand how the game works.

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Good thing the first, like, hour of gameplay is a tutorial.

Most games are like that nowadays; they have the right idea imo.

The recent Indiana Jones game had a really cool manual. It looked like a passport, and everything within was laid out like a scrapbook of Indy's travels.

I remember Skuljagger on the SNES having a great manual. I think it's the only one I ever read completely.

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adding a retarded sense of humor that would be insulting to anyone over the ages of four.

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And now, with the MGS series, Konami simply moved that stuff from the manual to the game.

You owned a pink Dreamcast.

I love the GTA series having faux-ads in the manuals, since the games are pretty easy to understand, and the ads give you more insight into the universe you'll be entering.

I used to read all the game manuals before playing, not it usually takes me under 5 seconds to read everything of interest rather then just simple directions on how to play the game. Metal Gear Solid 3 had a fun manaul but most games give you these little paper-thin manuals with the controls in them now, definately not cool.

A few NES manuals stand out:

The Legend of Zelda manual was awesome- from the clay model of the overworld, to the cell images (was this from a zelda anime?), it was full of cool art and descriptions.

Remember the Taito game manuals with the comics? Never before has the backstory of games like Bubble Bobble or Operation Wolf been so fleshed out.

The only useful manual that I've used within the last few years is Morrowind's. Of course, the map was helpful too; I've used it so much that the creases are a just short of tearing.

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Originally Posted by Zerodash

The Legend of Zelda manual was awesome- from the clay model of the overworld, to the cell images (was this from a zelda anime?), it was full of cool art and descriptions.

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That and the Adventures of Link were actually one of the few good NES manuals back in the day (no there were no Zelda anime to answer your question, Nintendo simply had some good artists back then). The translations themselves were surprisingly quite faithful too (the fact that it even mentions that Ganon's followers needed Link's blood to revive him was quite macabre, especially considering Nintendo's standards back then).

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Originally Posted by Johnny Undaunted

(the fact that it even mentions that Ganon's followers needed Link's blood to revive him was quite macabre, especially considering Nintendo's standards back then).

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That's right.What's crazy is that Ganon isnt even in the game, is he? I remember fighting Shadow Link (ducking in the corner and slashing :chick: ) towards the end, but I dont think there was a Ganon fight after that.

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Originally Posted by Jetman

That's right.What's crazy is that Ganon isnt even in the game, is he? I remember fighting Shadow Link (ducking in the corner and slashing :chick: ) towards the end, but I dont think there was a Ganon fight after that.

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Actually, he is in Zelda II, sort of. You get a "Return of Ganon" screen after a Game Over. A bit gimmicky, but kinda cool either way.

plus, Ganon has a cool laugh at the game over screen.

I think Manhunt has a pretty cool manual.

I always found japanese game documentations just amazing with tons of art work and great graphics. So many European and American game documentations are just black and white and sometimes without a single graphic. Same for the CDs, some Japanese CDs for the Sega Saturn are just pure art and the European versions are just poor with often just the name of the game...
The worse I have ever seen is probably for the PC Engine, just look at games like Bomberman or (the worse I think) Dungeon Explorer, it is like if the American game cover was drawn by a 4 years old kid...

anyway, I am always complaining ... ;)

Bomberman TG16 cover > every other cover

Just for the comedy alone.