I HATE SPIDERS! :(

[07:36] ImRich66: :(:(:(
[07:36] CullmanMoores: why so glum?
[07:36] *** Auto-response sent to CullmanMoores: www.okayplayer.com
Recognize.
[07:36] ImRich66: i just saw a mutant spider
[07:36] ImRich66: i had to step on it 3 times
[07:36] CullmanMoores: lol...hence the three un-smily faces

[07:36] ImRich66: tried killing it the first time and it ran into the corner but couldn't get into the hole because it was so fucking huge
[07:37] CullmanMoores: lmao
[07:37] CullmanMoores: wow
[07:37] ImRich66: then i stepped on it again, thoguht it was dead
[07:37] ImRich66: about 5 minutes later
[07:37] ImRich66: thing fucking comes out
[07:37] ImRich66: slow as hell
[07:37] ImRich66: limping its ass off
[07:37] CullmanMoores: lmao...you broke all his legs
[07:37] ImRich66: then i fucking owned it with a 1/4 box of tissues
[07:37] CullmanMoores: haha!
[07:37] ImRich66: and then flushed it
[07:37] CullmanMoores: to make sure
[07:37] ImRich66: I was taking a shit when I saw him---I jumped up so fucking fast. thank god I was done.
[07:37] ImRich66: he was right next to me
[07:38] ImRich66: GODDAMN I HATE SPIDERS UGH!
[07:38] CullmanMoores: i would laugh if it clogged up the toilet
[07:38] ImRich66: the thing was a good 2 inches easy
[07:38] ImRich66: and full, not just long legs
[07:38] CullmanMoores: hmmm.....woulda scared me to
[07:38] ImRich66: i've got arachnophobia
[07:38] ImRich66: scared? i was ready for a heart attack
[07:38] CullmanMoores: i think the only place worse to see a spider than the toilet is when your driving
[07:39] CullmanMoores: that sucks!
[07:39] ImRich66: why do all spiders crawl into a ball when they die
[07:39] ImRich66: lol i'd cry
[07:39] ImRich66: i'd pull over and get out
[07:39] CullmanMoores: lmao
[07:39] ImRich66: and wave someone down to kil lit
[07:39] ImRich66: call AAA
[07:39] CullmanMoores: i would consider wrecking just to kill spidey
[07:39] ImRich66: "hi, my car broke, can yoiu come fix it?"
[07:39] CullmanMoores: lol!
[07:39] ImRich66: "What's wrong?"
[07:39] ImRich66: "There's a spider inside."
[07:40] ImRich66: this is the 2cd mutant spider i've seen while shitting
[07:40] ImRich66: 2cd one was crwling on a wall right next to me
[07:40] ImRich66: er, 1st
[07:40] CullmanMoores: hahaha! oh that brought tears to me eyes
[07:40] ImRich66: i was scared to klil it so it got behind my sing
[07:40] ImRich66: my mother had to come down after i finished shitting and fucking smoke it out
[07:40] CullmanMoores: haha
[07:41] ImRich66: there's a fucking nest down there
[07:41] CullmanMoores: im always worried that when i go to step on one
[07:41] ImRich66: it will attack you
[07:41] ImRich66: and kill you
[07:41] CullmanMoores: that its going to jump up my pants leg

Did you know that the average person eats eight spiders in their sleep during their lifetime? It's true, look it up.

One time, after taking a shower, I started to dry my hair with a towel that had a spider on it. It got on my hand and scared my shitless.

One time, a spider raped my mom and stole her cigarettes.

True story.

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Originally posted by Dolemite
Did you know that the average person eats eight spiders in their sleep during their lifetime? It's true, look it up.

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It's actually eight per year

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Originally Posted by burky

It's actually eight per year

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That is what I heard also... gross!!!!

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Originally Posted by Dolemite

Did you know that the average person eats eight spiders in their sleep during their lifetime? It's true, look it up.

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did you know the average person brings up this statistic 4/5 times someone mentions a fear of spiders?

omg, this is such a stupid pointless thread.

how dare it be on TNL

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Originally Posted by burky

It's actually eight per year

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No shit? Eew.

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Originally Posted by Shakey

did you know the average person brings up this statistic 4/5 times someone mentions a fear of spiders?

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Did you know 4/5 of your posts are Koloa poop?

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Originally Posted by Dolemite

Did you know 4/5 of your posts are Koloa poop?

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http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/a...id=14538&stc=1 http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/a...id=14539&stc=1
http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/a...id=14540&stc=1

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Originally Posted by PiotrRasputin

One time, after taking a shower, I started to dry my hair with a towel that had a spider on it. It got on my hand and scared my shitless.

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I shake every towel I use before I use it because i'm scared of there being a spider on it.

They're more scared of you than you are of them.

...so they must be pretty damn scared, because holy shit they scare the crap out of me.

A woman just died from a brown recluse bite in my hometown. And one of my friends got out of going to Iraq on account of one biting him during a field exercise.
Still, though, imagine how much disease there would be without spiders checking the populations of like, flies and shit.

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Originally Posted by burky

It's actually eight per year

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You know, I'm sure I've eaten none per year and all of you fuckers are boosting that average.

lol. I love spiders cause they eat all the other nasty bugs. I let them hang out in my plants and the corners of my room. We have an agreement.

"Now that we're looking at it, why do spiders' legs curl up like that when they die? Well, that's pretty interesting. As in the past, I went to the book Biology of Spiders, by Rainer F. Foelix, published in 1996 for an answer. Spiders' legs, as I've mentioned before, are composed of seven segments. That means that there are six articulations, or joints between them.

Now, most animals have two sets of opposing muscles that operate their joints. Flexors, which bend them, and extensors, which straighten them. In the spider leg, with six joints, there are two joints which do NOT have extensor muscles (from the tip of the leg, this is joint number 2, and joint number 4. see HYDRAULIC PUMP, above). That means that there are no muscles to straighten those joints! How then, can the spider straighten its legs?

While you take a moment to wonder about that, consider that spiders not only possess an exoskeleton (the "armor"), but they also have a sort of endoskeleton, or inner structural supports as well. They are called "endosterna". These serve as attachment points for certain muscle groups (entosternal muscles).

Largest of the structures of this endoskeleton is shallow cuplike construction that sort of bisects the cephalothorax (prosoma) horizontally. This is called the "endosternite". There are groups of muscles that attach this structure to the carapace (upper surface) and sternumæ (lower surface) of the prosoma. The picture I made above shows these in VERY simplified form. If you are interested, find the book and look at the professional version.

These muscles can move the endosternite, which can lower the volume inside the cephalothorax. Doing this can increase the fluid pressure inside the spider. This is similar to you squeezing a toothpaste tube which lowers the volume, which increases the pressure, and forces the toothpaste out . This increase in fluid pressure acts like a hydraulic pump; and this is what extends the second and fourth leg joints. Without the pressure the legs will fold, if the muscles contract, and stay folded.

While this seems like an odd arrangement to me, spiders were here long before I was, so glitches in the design must have been worked out by now.æ Pretty complicated creatures...these "simple", "primitive" spiders."

-- http://users2.ev1.net/~rickubis/brazspidr3.html

http://users2.ev1.net/~rickubis/kukhomet.jpg

That's the son of a bitch that was in my bathroom, I think, only mine was fucking juiced out of its mine. Someone call the MLB, because my spider's need to be subpoened as well.

I hate spiders too, but since I live in Texas I see at least two scorpions a week in my apartment.

Spiders really don't bother me, the brown recluse ones and whatnot scare the shit out of me but I don't really think about them. We have a lot of wolf spiders at work, me and this dude caught one in a cup one time, killed it with acetone and fossilized it in hot glue, was pretty neat.

I don't mind spiders; the ones that are brown and about an inch in diameter, I'm cool with. If I see one in my room or something, I don't bother it, because they don't bother me. However, we get a few other interesting ones in Florida:

The Banana spider... this thing scares the hell out of me. Check out its size:
http://davidmichaelkennedy.com/blog/...a%20spider.jpg

And of course, the Black Widow. I see quite a few of these around here as well... protip: If you ever come to Florida, always check your shoes for spiders if they're left outside.
http://www.geo-outdoors.info/images/...lack_widow.gif

We had a post awhile back on those camel spiders, is it really true they can jump 4ft streight up?

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Originally Posted by Tones

http://davidmichaelkennedy.com/blog/...a%20spider.jpg

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:eep: :eep: :eep: :eep:

Spiders scare me more than anything. I absolutely cannot stand them.

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Originally Posted by Tones

http://davidmichaelkennedy.com/blog/...a%20spider.jpg

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I'm not too squeamish about spiders but I'm pretty sure I'd freak if I saw something like that.

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Originally Posted by Dolemite

Did you know that the average person eats eight spiders in their sleep during their lifetime? It's true, look it up.

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Yep, my science teacher just told me that.

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Originally Posted by Tones

I don't mind spiders; the ones that are brown and about an inch in diameter, I'm cool with. If I see one in my room or something, I don't bother it, because they don't bother me. However, we get a few other interesting ones in Florida:

The Banana spider... this thing scares the hell out of me. Check out its size:
http://davidmichaelkennedy.com/blog/...a%20spider.jpg

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Banana - or Golden Orb Weaver Spider.

I saw one of those, about the same size as that one outside my house one morning a few months back.

I just about shit a brick.

Spiders, my #1 fear. :(

Man I hate Florida, not only did I almost run into one of those fucking banana spiders during an exercise in the woods, but they also have giant flying fucking cockroaches. Is this state like radioactive or some shit. Oh yeah and those banana spiders make huge webs inbetween trees that look like there supposed to catch and scare a person to death so that they can then suck out our soft inards slowly... obviously.

There is no longer ANY desire for me to EVER move to florida... Yeah. I hate spiders that much.

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Originally Posted by Dolemite

Did you know that the average person eats eight spiders in their sleep during their lifetime? It's true, look it up.

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Bullshit.

And I had no idea this many of you fear spiders too.

This may be a question for a psychology thread or something, but I wonder what makes people afraid of certain things.I mean is it just genetic traits that make me cringe when I see a spider or something else that occured when I was younger that was traumatic on my child mind that I cant recall, or what? Seeing all of you arachnophobes here and worldwide, kind of makes me wonder....

I mean we all fear stuff that can kill or hurt us with its bite, but damn, just looking at that pic of the banana spider (and you're fucking insane for putting your hand anywhere near that shit) puts a knot in my stomach. I dont get that way looking at pics or seeing snakes or anything else.....

I hate spiders too. It's gotta be the extra legs. Snakes don't bother me at all, but if I saw that banana spider I would freak the fuck out. That would ruin my day.

They just look freaky, and they bite. That's enough for me.

That picture of the banana spider is... fuck, just fuck. If I was ever running threw a forest and got one of those things on me I'd never sleep again.

One time when I was 12 or so, I was peacefully watching cartoon cartoon friday (score!) with a blanket over myself, very content. Next thing I know this huge ass fucking brown spider (read: the harmless spiders that live in your house) crawls up the fucking blanket at the speed of light and I flipped out. I jumped up, threw the blanket off myself and then ran around my house ripping off all my clothes to make sure the spider wasnt on me. Fuck I hate spiders.

Whenever I see a spider nowadays I usually throw some dirty laundry at it to get it off the wall/ceiling and then crush it with the nearest thing I can find.

I have spider stories,I wasnt going to tell but, might as well - that's what this place is for.

Florida as we all know by now is the haven for all things deadly with 8 legs.My old apartment in Panama City was infested, INFESTED with some of the biggest hairiest kinds of Spiders in Florida that I've ever seen.They were about the size of the bananas,but didnt have the big-ass legs(I just did a search on spiders in Florida and didnt see it at all - looked kind of like a chilean recluse only bigger and hairy,so I dont know what the hell it is).

http://www.doacs.state.fl.us/pi/enpp...ecluseweb2.jpg
http://www.doacs.state.fl.us/pi/enpp...lrecluse.f.jpg

These things were agressive and would fucking CHASE you (yes, fuck off, I ran from them - you would too).
One of them was on the bottom of my stairwell one night - thank God I had the light on because he stood out like a pink flower at a Goth convention.I had some Raid Spider killer reserved in both bathrooms up and downstairs for such an occasion. I get the upstairs bottle and fucking let him have it.It doesnt move for a second then it runs right at me. I run upstairs get to the top and dont see anything because it blends in with the carpeting (FUCK!) so I mist the whole stairwell with Raid, and then i see him running up the stairs towards me. I've never heard of spiders ever doing that here in America.Anyways, I keep spraying , he keeps coming all the way to the top, and finally I just say, to Hell with it and do a flying stomp from the top of my washer/dryer combo(on which I jumped on top of when it got closer) and splatter him at the top of the stairs.Afer that I left for the night as I was almost ready to pass out from all the damn Raid in the house. I swear the Raid would've ended up taking me out before the spider if I'd have been in there any longer.

I had other run-ins with his buddies and sprayed them all at point blank with the Raid, and it didnt affect them one bit :wtf: (yes, they chased me too, my thick-ass phonebook became 'Ye Old Faithful Spider Killer' in those dark days)

This apartment was so bad with these things to the point that they would just randomly pop up in your lap to say 'hello' at the most inopurtune of times.To which I would usually freeze like a rock,hold my breath, then break into a complete spasm of chaos to fling the spider from me.

I know,I know.Respect for Jetman - 100 |-)

Ugh that scared me just thinking about it.

Jetman, I would have to move out. I wouldn't be able to deal with that shit. Did oyu ever get bit by one of them?

I've got arachnaphobia and I've never even been bit. Knock on wood.

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Originally Posted by Thief~Silver

Ugh that scared me just thinking about it.

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Yeah, pray you dont come into contact with these things.

The only other spider, I've heard of that chases you like these is the Camel Spider in the desert out in Saudi/Iraq/etc.

Stories between military folk who've had time in the desert are far and wide about these things.
One that I've heard a lot of is about a troop who didnt check his boots after getting up one morning.Apparently,a smaller one of these was inside his boot,and he went the whole day without knowing it,but his toes and part of his feet felt really numb for some reason.When he retires for the night and takes his boot off, close to three of his toes are chewed off (bone still there of course,but supposedely where his toes were was just a big bloody mass). I guess the spider was still in his boot, as the med.techs and the guy's buddies found it still chillin in the guy's boot.
The only way to explain this is that the Camel Spiders have a numbing toxin that they usually use to feed on Camel bellies(yes they JUMP high enough to reach a Camel's belly! and they run 10MPH). Meet my worst fear and mortal enemy:

http://www.skunksoup.com/images/funp...melspider1.jpg

pretty soon an Alien Queen will spawn in the desertand turn Iran and Iraq into her own HIVE

I hate you so much right now due to this uncontrollable *Shudder* I have now >.<

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I let them hang out in my plants and the corners of my room. We have an agreement.

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The funny thing is, immediately before seeing this thread, I finished writing a Language Arts paper about an agreement I had with a spider that's been chilling in my shower.

http://www.doacs.state.fl.us/pi/enpp...ecluseweb2.jpg

FUCK.

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I run upstairs get to the top and dont see anything because it blends in with the carpeting (FUCK!) so I mist the whole stairwell with Raid, and then i see him running up the stairs towards me.

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FUCK.

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Apparently,a smaller one of these was inside his boot,and he went the whole day without knowing it,but his toes and part of his feet felt really numb for some reason.When he retires for the night and takes his boot off, close to three of his toes are chewed off (bone still there of course,but supposedely where his toes were was just a big bloody mass). I guess the spider was still in his boot, as the med.techs and the guy's buddies found it still chillin in the guy's boot.

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FUCK.

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Originally Posted by Rich

Jetman, I would have to move out. I wouldn't be able to deal with that shit. Did oyu ever get bit by one of them?

I've got arachnaphobia and I've never even been bit. Knock on wood.

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Yeah, I've moved out since, Thank God. There was an attic in that place I could never get into (nailed shut) and I just visualized it being full of mutant hairy recluses. Never got bit. My freeze, then freak out tactic worked surprisingly well at keeping them from biting me.

I'm rethinking Dolemites rumor about spiders crawling down your throat at night, and I'd be lying if I said the thought didnt bother me right now :(

My girlfriend just told me about a story and some pictures of some desert spider that can stand 2 feet off the ground? o.o

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Originally Posted by Jetman

I'm rethinking Dolemites rumor about spiders crawling down your throat at night, and I'd be lying if I said the thought didnt bother me right now :(

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The size of those spiders are about the size of Rich's penis, so you wouldn't even know they were there.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Thief~Silver

My girlfriend just told me about a story and some pictures of some desert spider that can stand 2 feet off the ground? o.o

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That has to be bullshit, 2 FEET? No way, there's just no fucking way.

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Originally Posted by Rich

[07:37] ImRich66: then i fucking owned it with a 1/4 box of tissues

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:lol: This totally made my day.

I dont like spiders but i dont usually kill them since they kill the bugs that i hate a lot more like mosquitoes and flies.

All of your military buddies are lying to you about spiders:
http://www.snopes.com/photos/bugs/camelspider.asp

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Originally Posted by Rhydant

All of your military buddies are lying to you about spiders:
http://www.snopes.com/photos/bugs/camelspider.asp

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It's still a fucking beast. So they dont have anesthetic bites? Great, than I can feel it knaw through my body in searing pain then.They still run 10 MPH, and they are still big.

I'm oddly dissapointed that they don't scream while chasing.

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Originally Posted by sethsez

Spiders scare me more than anything. I absolutely cannot stand them.

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YES.

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Originally Posted by Jetman

I know,I know.Respect for Jetman - 100

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Whatever. If a spider chased me I wouldn't even stick around to kill it until it cornered me. I can't stand to see them, can't stand to deal with them, can't even stand to clean up the dead ones.

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One that I've heard a lot of is about a troop who didnt check his boots after getting up one morning.Apparently,a smaller one of these was inside his boot,and he went the whole day without knowing it,but his toes and part of his feet felt really numb for some reason.When he retires for the night and takes his boot off, close to three of his toes are chewed off (bone still there of course,but supposedely where his toes were was just a big bloody mass). I guess the spider was still in his boot, as the med.techs and the guy's buddies found it still chillin in the guy's boot.

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That's it, I'm done with this thread. GONE.

Spiders arn't scary. Guys ever hear of Grizzly Bears? They are scary, killed some track star up in the mountains. Or so I heard.

All this stories are rediculous, I really hate spiders, but I love to hear all your guys stories. This is one of the best threads in a while. Great story jetman, I was sad to hear it end.

A couple of weeks ago I went in my bathroom to brush my teeth and i looked up and there was a huge spider (well... it was really small, but had hella long legs) right above my entryway. I threw the dirty laundry at it and crushed it with my deodorant and then placed an empty toilet paper tube (I'm too lazy to throw them out so I just toss em on the floor) over its (presumably) dead corpse, and went to school. I came home and it was gone. I think its plotting revenge.

This morning I was walking to the kitchen, and this grizzly bear jumped out of my bathroom and tried to bite me. I squished it with my can of soda and flushed it down the toilet. I HATE grizzly bears.

Spiders Kill Mosquitos, Gnats, Blackflies.

Spiders rule. Stop being wussies..

What a spider does in it's free time, is it's business, what it does when it's staring me down from the top of my cieling...

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That has to be bullshit, 2 FEET? No way, there's just no fucking way.

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If the camel spider thing had been true, I'd believe it. But with that disproven, I agree.

http://www.milwaukeezoo.org/images/map-grizzly-bear.jpg

Can you give me a hand?

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Originally Posted by Jetman

It's still a fucking beast. So they dont have anesthetic bites? Great, than I can feel it knaw through my body in searing pain then.They still run 10 MPH, and they are still big.

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They don't really eat camels or anything either and they're not as big as they're made out to be. They pose no danger to humans.

I live in Australia

I win.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0...1.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

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Originally Posted by Jetman

Bullshit.

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It's true, motherfucker. They love to crawl into a nice, warm, wide-open mouth in the middle of the night. It's the same with penises and Mzo's mom.

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And I had no idea this many of you fear spiders too.

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Not really afraid of them anymore. I used to be, but I've come to realize that the fear is largely unfounded. I used to squish them on sight, but now I try to just capture them and set them free outside. They don't deserve squishing.

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Originally Posted by Jetman

Bullshit.

And I had no idea this many of you fear spiders too.

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http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/spiders.htm

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Originally Posted by Sqoon

http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/spiders.htm

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Whew! :)

My ex called me over once becasue she found found a spider the size of a Buick in her bathroom.

Spiders don't scare me at all, but I have done the run and jump girly shit from roaches. I live in Florida, they're everywhere. I have no idea why I'm so damned scared of them, it'd be great to know. I steel myself and kill them, but it's really a fucking struggle to not run away.

I've been trying to condition myself to get over it, because it's really stupid. At least I'm at the point where I can squish them and dispose of the body, isntead of raid-ing it up and leaving the dead body there for weeks.

those camel spider stories are super-exaggerated. kind of an urban legend that started with a thread on the somethingawful forums. they *are* fast, but the bit about the in-boot spider is almost certainly not true.

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Originally Posted by animegirl

I hate spiders too, but since I live in Texas I see at least two scorpions a week in my apartment.

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No scorpions here. Spiders, yes, but not many fucked or huge looking ones. I saw a Black Widow once though.

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Originally Posted by Rumpy

I hate spiders too. It's gotta be the extra legs. Snakes don't bother me at all, but if I saw that banana spider I would freak the fuck out. That would ruin my day.

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I felt icky because the night before I saw the spider, I picked up a UPS package off of my doorstep, and it was right next to the web.

*shudder*

Seriously, that was one of the 2 freakiest spiders I'd ever seen in my LIFE.

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Originally Posted by Gohron

They pose no danger to humans.

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I hope not.Them actually giving chase though is a bad trend that I'm noticing in spiders recently...:sweat:

Heres some other facts I didnt know:

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The spiders are, indeed, very quick and frighteningly aggressive. They have a strong bite, but rarely attack humans or larger animals.
The rumors of their attacking camels, or crawling onto sleeping GIs' faces, apparently stem from one of two things, both of which may be true to some extent: (1) they may use hair to line their burrow when they are about to lay a batch of eggs, said hair being clipped from dead camels or other dead mammals (and a sleeping GI is not much different)

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Fuck these things.Baldness runs in my family. I dont need these little bastards stealing what belongs to me.

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Originally Posted by Dolemite

It's true, motherfucker.

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:rolleyes: :lol: