Moving Cross-Country?

Printable View

16 Mar 2005, 02:39 AM
Tragic

Moving Cross-Country?

Just curious for TNL's take on my interesting situation. In the past few days my parents have suggested a new living arrangement to me.

I am 20 years old (21mid September). I am finishing up my 2nd semester at Raritan Valley Community College. I've lived in Hillsborough, New Jersey for my entire life. The longest I've been away from home is about 2 weeks. I was planning on attending Rutgers University next fall should I get in (haven't heard from the yet but my GPA was a 3.45 so I'm not too worried). About three weeks ago my girlfriend of nearly 5 years and I went on a "break" with an unspecified length. More or less the equivlent of when a game's release date is cancelled and put on an "indefinate hiatus". The break was a long time coming but since we split my small group of friends who said that they'd be there for me have turned out to have been lying. I have one good friend here but he attends a 4 year school so I can only see him about once a week.

This break also effects what I want to do with my future. I not don't really like the idea of going to Rutgers because, to be honest, the campus and school itself aren't very appealing to me. I was just following my girlfriend. The past three weeks of my life have been pretty miserable. I've felt more alone and my life has never felt less relevent or with less of a point. The idea of kicking around Hillsborough, NJ this summer and possibly beyond isn't exactly thrilling me right now.

My parents have suggested that, for a change of pace, scenery, etc. I move to Las Vegas this summer. I have relatives there that I could live with for a little while until I got an apartment/roommates. My current job at Barnes and Noble could probably transfer me to one of their 4 Vegas stores. I could spend the 3 or so months out there and then re-survey my life, see what the situation with my ex-girl and I is and see if I want to return on Jersey. If I do my parents will take me right back, if I don't I can work for another semsester and then try to attend a school (UNLV maybe) in the spring.

It all looks good on paper but I'm sure there's many things I'm not thinking of and I've certainly never done anything like this before. Anyone with any advice/thoughts, or even better, anyone who ever did anything like this have experiences/advice to share? I'm all ears.
16 Mar 2005, 02:41 AM
Revoltor

Anything is better than living in New Jersey.

Good Luck.
16 Mar 2005, 02:54 AM
stormy

Do it. Really. Nobody should live where they grew up. You definatly need to get away from the house and find a new group of friends. Everyone grows apart from thier teenage friends eventually, it never works out to try and stay. Moving is not all that hard, I did a similiar thing 2 summers ago when i left MA to stay with my sister in LA and now i'm out here going to school. You'll be better off in the end. Plus, Vegas is crazy, it'll rock.
16 Mar 2005, 03:15 AM
arjue

Sounds like a great idea.
16 Mar 2005, 03:18 AM
Jetman

It sounds like you may have been wanting to go to Rutgers for the wrong reasons.If you go to school to follow friends (or girlfriends) you'll eventually regret it, and hold it against those friends.
I think a new start will be a good change of pace for you,so can get some better perspective on where you really want to go and what to do with your life. But be sure and get your ass in school either way,because the older you get - it doesnt get any easier to learn - that and you dont want to fall into a familiar lazy rut of JUST working.At your age you need to be challenging your brain, and killing off some of its cells at keggers and shit.
I just moved to this town that I knew absolutely nobody in back in June, and since then, I've already made some new friends at work,a couple more at school, and an ex or 2 on the side :sweat:. But it takes time and it is hard to leave friends from home and what not. Good luck with whatever you decide though.
16 Mar 2005, 03:26 AM
Tragic

Yeha, the whole falling into the rut of just working and not going to school is what scared me most about this idea.
16 Mar 2005, 03:36 AM
Jetman

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tragic

Yeha, the whole falling into the rut of just working and not going to school is what scared me most about this idea.

Yeah, I see it happen to a LOT of people and they just never make it back to school. Hell, I was almost one of them. I was pretty damn good at my last job,loved the work(well not all of it,,,but still),hated the hours,and was living good off the pay,and did it for 5 years. But, I just felt that I needed to finish up school, and I have a little more ambition than working that one type of job for the rest of my life ,so I quit that job, am working a crappy college job at a videogame store now, and am trying to make this degree shit happen.
16 Mar 2005, 03:49 AM
Tragic

I also worry that I will meet no one. Living where I do right now sucks but I would suck more living out where I only know my Aunt and Uncle and no one my own age for a whole summer if not longer.
16 Mar 2005, 03:56 AM
Revoltor

It's Las Vegas dude. Don't you watch CSI? There's tons of shit happening there everyday.
16 Mar 2005, 03:57 AM
Tragic

Quote:

Originally Posted by Revoltor

It's Las Vegas dude. Don't you watch CSI?

Never seen it.
16 Mar 2005, 04:00 AM
Clash!

live the dream, fuck a whore in legal nevada
16 Mar 2005, 04:03 AM
Jetman

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tragic

I also worry that I will meet no one. Living where I do right now sucks but I would suck more living out where I only know my Aunt and Uncle and no one my own age for a whole summer if not longer.

Well, I'm sure you can find things to do for the summer in Vegas.That and you post on TNL so I'm sure you got a backlog of videogames to catch up on as girlfriends arent usually conducive to the hobby.
And at least you have family out there so you wont be totally alone for holidays and stuff.My closest family from here is more than 10 hours away.
And you'll make new friends again, you just need to be patient about it,and stay focused whats important- your future and your education.The new friends will just fall into place.
16 Mar 2005, 04:20 AM
Clash!

go to vegas, I mean why not? Whats these to lose? It will suck if you don't go because you'llm wonder what could of happened in vegas. Its better to do that then just live in the rut.
16 Mar 2005, 04:25 AM
Satsuki

Go to Vegas. Just so you don't live out your whole life thinking "what if I would've gone to Vegas instead....?"

edit.
yeah, pretty much exactly what Clash said.
16 Mar 2005, 04:29 AM
Clash!

I say awesome things!
16 Mar 2005, 05:58 AM
Diff-chan

Why not? Itd be a new experience.

But take it from me (I speak from experience): Chances are you will hate it.
16 Mar 2005, 06:09 AM
arjue

you drunk.

atleast you can spell while posting under the influence

I was thinking of doing a similar thing in a year or two, except I was thinking of going to the opposite side of the planet.
16 Mar 2005, 06:10 AM
sethsez

Move.

I mean, you're lucky enough to have someone to fall back on in this case, so you really have nothing to lose, and it doesn't sound like you really want to stay where you are anyway. I moved a year ago and it's been great.
16 Mar 2005, 07:05 AM
kuro

Good point there, if nothing works the way it should, your parents will be there with open arms, and rent-free housing.

And two words. Bunny. Ranch.

'Nough said.
16 Mar 2005, 12:46 PM
JefmcC

Think about this, what have you got to lose? Nothing. Go to Vegas, figure some shit out, and get on with life.

You will not be able to do something like this once you settle into a real job. Not until you retire anyway.

I say give it a shot, if it sucks so bad, move back to Jersey.
16 Mar 2005, 01:59 PM
Mman

Do it. Just stay away from the strip and all the touristy parts of Vegas as much as possible. And try to stay out of the bad neighborhoods too.
16 Mar 2005, 02:15 PM
Error

Dude. You basically have guarenteed logding with your Aunt and Uncle, you seem to be on good terms with your folks so if you have to you can go back to them when its over, and you have a very good possibility of already having a job thanks to your current employ. This in addition to the fact you arent keen on going to Rutgers, in fact you were just going to follow your gf. If i was in your position i'd ALREADY be in Vegas. You have nothing keeping you in your current residence other than your folks, and its not like you cant go back to them. So go West young man, go west!

And remember. What happens in Vegas...stays in Vegas.
16 Mar 2005, 04:41 PM
Tragic

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mman

Do it. Just stay away from the strip and all the touristy parts of Vegas as much as possible. And try to stay out of the bad neighborhoods too.

Well, this will be my 5th time to Vegas so I've already seen all of the strip and crazyness. I mean, I'm sure I'll go check things out a few times but I've vacationed there enough times before and this won't exactly be a "vacation".

There are 2 really big things I have to figure out though.

1) A car. My current car would not make the trip out west. It has 200,000 miles on it. It's a piece of crap. I definitly don't have the money for a new car. I will need a car to get around Vegas. This could be a big problem.

2) I'll probably end up having to take a semester off from school. If I say yes to Rutgers then I would definitly have to limit this trip out west to 3 months and it's too late to try and apply to a school out there.

I guess I'll have to discuss these two things with my parents when they get home from work today.
16 Mar 2005, 04:57 PM
maruchan

Hey tragic i saw this check it out.. http://www.unlv.edu/admissions/tr.html
apply now and see what happens, if you want to go to school in the fall.. deadline is april 1st and you can apply online.. if your taking risk.. thats why you dont miss out on school
16 Mar 2005, 05:00 PM
Shakey

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tragic

Well, this will be my 5th time to Vegas so I've already seen all of the strip and crazyness. I mean, I'm sure I'll go check things out a few times but I've vacationed there enough times before and this won't exactly be a "vacation".

There are 2 really big things I have to figure out though.

1) A car. My current car would not make the trip out west. It has 200,000 miles on it. It's a piece of crap. I definitly don't have the money for a new car. I will need a car to get around Vegas. This could be a big problem.

2) I'll probably end up having to take a semester off from school. If I say yes to Rutgers then I would definitly have to limit this trip out west to 3 months and it's too late to try and apply to a school out there.

I guess I'll have to discuss these two things with my parents when they get home from work today.

stop thinking so much.

your parents are obiously really supportive of this. So worst comes to worst, you fuck up, end up hating it, or something and have to move back home with your parents.

I don't know much about vegas, but there's generally ways around cities without a car, especially if you're not going to be there too long (if things work out with school or whatever.)

that said you should just fucking do it. No matter what happens you will learn much more important things than you ever could spending a summer at home again when you've never left. Besides, there will be no better time in your life to just uproot than right now.

I'm in sort of a similar situation. I've been working a standard job for almost a year, and I haven't really lived out of my house for any extended period of time. An oppurtunity came up though and right now I'm quitting my job to go live on a farm with a couple friends in southern oregon and get a band going. Part of me is terrified, but the rest knows that this is one of the greatest things I'll ever do.
16 Mar 2005, 05:36 PM
Gohron

I wish I had the oppurtunity presented to me to do something like this, I've been itching to just go out and experience different enviorments (I don't go to school) but havn't really had the chance. I'd say go ahead and do it, sometimes you'll need breaks in your life and you can only manage to do these sorts of things when you're young.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jetman

Yeah, I see it happen to a LOT of people and they just never make it back to school. Hell, I was almost one of them. I was pretty damn good at my last job,loved the work(well not all of it,,,but still),hated the hours,and was living good off the pay,and did it for 5 years. But, I just felt that I needed to finish up school, and I have a little more ambition than working that one type of job for the rest of my life ,so I quit that job, am working a crappy college job at a videogame store now, and am trying to make this degree shit happen.

Didn't you recently get out of the Air Force?
16 Mar 2005, 06:26 PM
Diff-chan

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jetman

Yeah, I see it happen to a LOT of people and they just never make it back to school. Hell, I was almost one of them. I was pretty damn good at my last job,loved the work(well not all of it,,,but still),hated the hours,and was living good off the pay,and did it for 5 years. But, I just felt that I needed to finish up school, and I have a little more ambition than working that one type of job for the rest of my life ,so I quit that job, am working a crappy college job at a videogame store now, and am trying to make this degree shit happen.

Agreed. School really should be the priority at this age, at all times. Most people I know who have taken a break from school never really come back, or just end up with some half-assed associate's degree from a community college or some bullshit computer graphics shit from DeVry.

As for Las Vegas, I dont think it has much of a public transportation system. Going so far away from home (I am from New Jersey, went to LA for school for the past 3 years) is scary and very strange. I hated it for a long time. You get used to it after a while but youll probably regret it early on.
16 Mar 2005, 06:46 PM
Tragic

Quote:

Originally Posted by kuro

Good point there, if nothing works the way it should, your parents will be there with open arms, and rent-free housing.

And two words. Bunny. Ranch.

'Nough said.

Bunny Ranch? What is this?

And, Diffx, this is the first negative responce to me going out there. I would either be there for 3 months, 6 months, or end up going to school out there but no matter what I'd most likely be taking fall '05 semester off from school if I go.
16 Mar 2005, 07:05 PM
Diff-chan

Quote:

And, Diffx, this is the first negative responce to me going out there. I would either be there for 3 months, 6 months, or end up going to school out there but no matter what I'd most likely be taking fall '05 semester off from school if I go.

Heh, well, like I said, Ive actually done this. I left New Jersey because I needed a change of pace - I got it, but it wasnt all peaches and cherries. It was tough sometimes, being so far away from everything you know. And Las Vegas is so different from New Jersey it will be uncomfortable and alien.

As long as you realize this you will pull through and pave your own way. Youll learn a lot about yourself and the place might even begin to feel like home after enough time (took me like 2 years in LA). Im gonna probably end up in California once all is said and done - but keep this in mind (and I know it doesnt sound like it fits i nwith the rest of this) - if I had to do it again I wouldve just stayed in NJ. Yet I am glad I experienced it.

If you go to school there, just realize youre gonna be paying nonresident tuition unless you stay there a year or more and work and pay taxes before you enter (thats the law in a lot of states, Nevada might be different).

Oh, and Bunny Ranch is a high-class brothel.
16 Mar 2005, 07:08 PM
sethsez

Quote:

Originally Posted by diffusionx

Agreed. School really should be the priority at this age, at all times.

Although I agree, missing a semester because he's moving wouldn't be the worst thing to happen, and if this is his chance to leave then he should take it. As long as he gets right back to school as soon as he can, that wouldn't be an issue. Most people who take breaks from school do so because they don't really care that much about it in the first place. Moving is a bit different.
16 Mar 2005, 07:12 PM
Tragic

Well, I appriciate the input. I want to hear all sides and experiences. I obviously have a lot to think about. A friend of mine dropped everything and moved to Sacramento about 4 months ago and she hates it too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sethsez

Although I agree, missing a semester because he's moving wouldn't be the worst thing to happen, and if this is his chance to leave then he should take it. As long as he gets right back to school as soon as he can, that wouldn't be an issue. Most people who take breaks from school do so because they don't really care that much about it in the first place. Moving is a bit different.

Yes, no matter what I'd be back in school sping '05, be it community college or (hopefully) a 4 year school somewhere, Jersey or Nevada or who knows.
16 Mar 2005, 08:24 PM
Fe 26

I took a semester off before this one to get my head on straight.

As long as you don't take a semester off to run away from the hassle, you should be all right.

Also, I would try to not make any new responsibilities. They will only make life more complicated for you when it comes time to go back to school. Look at this as a vacation of sorts, and never let not going back become an option for you. Don't think "if" you go back, but think “when” and “where: you go back.
16 Mar 2005, 08:52 PM
Jetman

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gohron

Didn't you recently get out of the Air Force?

Yeah. Like I said I was good at my job,and could fix any thing with two wings. Just made Staff Sergeant and would've been testing for Tech Sergeant this year, so the pay wasnt bad.The deployments,working weekends, holidays,and 13 + hour shifts sucked, as did working in the ice cold and blistering heat on the flightline at times.
But, yeah , some of my co-workers couldnt believe that I wanted to get out,and go back to school,and do something different as I was moving up the rank ladder pretty good,and everyone I worked with respected my opinion and input when something was really fucked.But I really didnt want to be humping the flightline for another 15 years......fuck, this isnt my thread.........The answer to your question is YES Gohron ;)

Bringing it back full circle back for Tragic. It wasnt easy getting out and trying something different that I hadnt done in a while, but looking back I know it was best for me if I wanted more out of life. And after 5 years you make a lot of good friends in the AF and are set in a certain way of life, but all great things in life come with a little risk so I had to do it , and you do to ,man.

Quote:

Originally Posted by diff

If you go to school there, just realize youre gonna be paying nonresident tuition unless you stay there a year or more and work and pay taxes before you enter (thats the law in a lot of states, Nevada might be different).

shit. Forgot about this. Out of State tuition will suck. If you go you may want to settle in for a year or so and just wait on residential status.Or just take a small amount of classes.
16 Mar 2005, 09:08 PM
Diff-chan

Quote:

shit. Forgot about this. Out of State tuition will suck. If you go you may want to settle in for a year or so and just wait on residential status.Or just take a small amount of classes.

Well, the problem is that once you start paying out of state its nearly impossible to get switched. In many states. In some, its absolutely impossible (like Texas). Its because the states now theyre getting a shitload from out of state people and dont want that gravy train to end. The states are really cautious about it and asking for your parents tax returns to make sure you arent a dependent should be expected.

The good thing is that UNLV out of state isnt that much more than in-state: its an extra $4300 a year. In some schools, its $10,000-$20,000 more. But still, if you plan on going to school, either be prepared to shell out the extra cash or just sit around and scratch your ass for a year or whatever they need to be convinced. Which I wouldnt recommend doing.

Anyway, my advice is, think carefully about this before you just apply and enroll at UNLV or any Nevada college.
16 Mar 2005, 09:25 PM
Jetman

Quote:

Originally Posted by diffusionx

Well, the problem is that once you start paying out of state its nearly impossible to get switched. In many states. In some, its absolutely impossible (like Texas). Its because the states now theyre getting a shitload from out of state people and dont want that gravy train to end. The states are really cautious about it and asking for your parents tax returns to make sure you arent a dependent should be expected.

Really? So, even if he started up, then became a legal resident, he'd still have to pay the same rates? That does blow. He just needs to make sure when he moves out that his parents dont claim him then.If they dont, I cant see how the school could still charge him as if he wasnt.
16 Mar 2005, 09:46 PM
Tragic

I think what is going to happen is that I'll go out there, enjoy the summer. If I want to stay then I'll stay and take a semester off and go somewhere in the fall and pay the out of state fees (my parents are awesome and college loans are inevitable). If I hate it then I'll go back to Jersey and go to communitym college in Jersey for another semester and then transfer to a school other than Rutgers that appeals to me more (Read: Rider).
16 Mar 2005, 09:50 PM
Diff-chan

Quote:

Really? So, even if he started up, then became a legal resident, he'd still have to pay the same rates? That does blow. He just needs to make sure when he moves out that his parents dont claim him then.If they dont, I cant see how the school could still charge him as if he wasnt.

Yes. Most states differentiate between "resident" and "resident for tuition purposes". Im sure its something the Supreme Court would strike down, if it ever got legally challenged in court. If youre from state A and move to state B for school, get a legal address in state B, acquire a license in state B, register your car in state B, vote in state B, work in state B, and pay taxes in state B... you'd still be a nonresident for tuition purposes because your parents put you on state A's tax form as a dependant last year or two years ago and because you entered state B as a nonresident.

For example, in California, if you enter as a nonresident, with your parents listing you as a dependant on the past 2 (!) tax returns, the absolute soonest you can receive instate tuition is your senior year. And thats only if you divorce yourself from your parent's money your freshman year. They basically conduct an entire audit on your finances to prove youre not getting money from your parents or anyone else. And California is one of the more lenient states AFAIK. In most states, like Texas and yea Nevada (I skimmed the tuition policies at work, I was bored) its not even possible.

Its really fucking shady.
17 Mar 2005, 12:47 AM
Jetman

Quote:

Originally Posted by diffusionx

For example, in California, if you enter as a nonresident, with your parents listing you as a dependant on the past 2 (!) tax returns, the absolute soonest you can receive instate tuition is your senior year. And thats only if you divorce yourself from your parent's money your freshman year. They basically conduct an entire audit on your finances to prove youre not getting money from your parents or anyone else. And California is one of the more lenient states AFAIK. In most states, like Texas and yea Nevada (I skimmed the tuition policies at work, I was bored) its not even possible.

Its really fucking shady.

Wow. Eye-opener. Dont know why I didnt know that. 2 tax returns and a complete finance check later and you MAY get in-state tuition 4 years down the road? What's next?Blood of a virgin on Summer Solstice?
Pretty crazy.
17 Mar 2005, 02:21 AM
Satsuki

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tragic

A friend of mine dropped everything and moved to Sacramento about 4 months ago and she hates it too.

LOL. This is about the worst place in the world ever ever ever to move to. Don't use Sacramento as an example, this place is evil.

also, where does your friend go to school? MAYBE I KNOW HER OR SOMETHING UH HUH. yeah, right. But, this place is pretty small when it comes down to it.
17 Mar 2005, 03:44 AM
Tragic

She doesn't go to school. Has a full time desk job though. Her name is Terri.
17 Mar 2005, 06:06 AM
Satsuki

Wow, a desk job in sacramento. That's pretty bad.

p.s.- never come here, it's a shithole.
17 Mar 2005, 06:42 AM
Fe 26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Satsuki

LOL. This is about the worst place in the world ever ever ever to move to. Don't use Sacramento as an example, this place is evil.

also, where does your friend go to school? MAYBE I KNOW HER OR SOMETHING UH HUH. yeah, right. But, this place is pretty small when it comes down to it.

oh shush, you could live in mississippi, or even in the town I live in.
17 Mar 2005, 06:45 AM
arjue

Quote:

Originally Posted by Satsuki

Wow, a desk job in sacramento. That's pretty bad.

p.s.- never come here, it's a shithole.

LOL

I just got your sig...

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:50 PM.