Movie and TV Quotes About Jail

A buddy of mine has started dating an under aged girl and I've decided it's my duty as a friend to text message him a different quote from TV or a movie every time he hangs out with her.

So far I've come up with 2 quotes from Office Space and 1 from Family Guy. They are:

1) "You're going to federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison."

2) "Watch out for your cornhole buddy."

and

3) "You're gonna go to jail Peter. And not the cool jail like on Cinemax. The man jail!"

So any more that people can provide me with would be great.

One from Family Guy - "I call top bunk".
Another FG one - "Haha, there's the guy who couldn't hold onto the soap!" That whole run is funny, but that's the only quote I can remember.
From the Simpsons, "I hope the stories I've heard about prison are grossly exaggerated".

Old School
"Statuatory rape is the jay-walking of sex crimes" doesn't go with the topic but it's too good to pass up.

Check out The Shawshank Redemption, The Last Castle, and The Longest Yard for some prison movies. You may be able to lift quotes from them.

"The worst thing about jail is women come and visit you man, and they get funky when a niggas locked up. When you be behind eight inches of glass you can't reach them motherfuckers. And they be talkin bout 'I never did like your mama.' ... 'Who you talkin' to!?' ...'I'm talkin' to you nigga, you the one in jail!"

Vernon Schillinger: You like my tattoos?
Tobias Beecher: Yeah.
Vernon Schillinger: We're gonna have to get you one.
Tobias Beecher: [laughs] I don't think so.
Vernon Schillinger: Oh, yeah, I'm gonna brand you myself.
Tobias Beecher: Livestock gets branded.
Vernon Schillinger: Yeah, that's exactly what you are- my livestock. Because, Tobias...now, your ass belongs to me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tragic

A buddy of mine has started dating an under aged girl

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What are their ages?

Just curious about the respect level I should be giving your friend.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dolemite

Vernon Schillinger:

What are their ages?

Just curious about the respect level I should be giving your friend.

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There's actually two seperate friends dating under aged girls.

Friend 1: He's 19 dating a 16 year old.

Friend 2: He's 19 dating a 15 year old.

Thanks for the quotes so far guys!

What the hell are wrong with your friends? Tell them to stop robbing cradles.

If there's grass on the field...

My Girlfriend is 17.. so technically this applies to me too? I don't think Ohio's age of consent is any lower than 18, hell knowing ohio it's probably 30.