In the June, 2006 issue of GameInformer, there is a fantastic article called Sacred Cow Barbecue, in which their staff takes shots at some of the most overrated games of all-time. The following is a complete list with some excerps from the text:
Grand Theft Auto III
"GTA III proves that if you can't do one thing right, just do a whole bunch of things poorly."
StarCraft
"Seriously, what does StarCraft do that hadn't been done before, ad nauseum, by the RTS genre? Besides rip off Starship Troopers, Alien, and Warhammer 40,000, that is."
The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time
"This N64 'classic' features hour upon hour of tedious dungeons, goofy puzzles, and blurry graphics that will make you think your TV screen has been painted with a thick coat of Vaseline. Also, after all these years, do you think someone in the brain trust could actually figure out a way to implement a jump button already?"
Resident Evil 2
"This is often tagged as one of the games that proved that video games could be every bit as cinematic and engrossing as film. Which is true, if the films in question are those Shannon Tweed booby flicks at 2AM on Cinemax. Admit it: the incomprehensible plot and voice 'acting' wouldn't even make the grade in the next Leprechaun movie."
Ico
"Okay we can deal with the seemingly endless and annoying puzzles, the fuzzy graphics, and the combat that makes Myst seem as visceral as God of War. But do we have to do all of this while leading around a princess that's about as useless as a drunk four year-old? ... Now we know how Paris Hilton's bodyguards must feel..."
Halo
"Halo completely revolutionized the first-person shooter genre. Or, that's what you might think if you'd had your head up your butt for 10 years and hadn't touched a PC since the original Doom... the fact remains that Halo is perhaps the most overrated game of all time. Do you like those levels? Good, because you're going to have to go back through them all again because Bungie couldn't manage to actually make a complete game."
Super Mario Bros.
"Yep Mario is sure a great character, and so is Luigi, who is totally distinguishable from Mario because he wears different colored clothes. The 'save the princess' storyline is trite, and even worse because you spend most of your time saving some weird guy named Toad instead... So, yeah, we respect the hell out of Super Mario Bros., as long as we don't actually have to play the damn thing."
Katamari Damacy
"Rolling a ball around for 10 hours is an entertaining way to spend a Saturday - if you're a cocker spaniel. However, actual humans who play Katamari might begin to wonder why in the hell a game with a goofy control scheme, Saturn-quality graphics, mind-numbingly repetitive gameplay, and a butchered camera is considered a standard of 'excellence' by hardcore gamers the world over."
Metal Gear Solid
"Metal Gear Solid proves that to be considered a classic, all you need is a plot so convoluted that people are embarrassed to admit they don't understand it. Recessive genes? Ear pulling? Cyborg Ninjas? Throw it all in. The more jumbled the story, the harder it is to realize that you just snuck by a guard while wearing a cardboard box... The only thing that could make this game worse is a hero whose haircut makes him look like the weird dude in your high school in the Megadeth jean jacket who always hung out at the convenience store...oops!"
Final Fantasy VII
"In fact, FF VII's major lasting contribution gaming (besides making bnerds cry) is the prettiest male villain in history. Seriously, you'd think the entire FF gang was dressed in clothes left over from Duran Duran's 1984 world tour. And what is Cloud doing while Sephiroth is destroying the world? Decorating weapons with jewelry, taking to a stuffed animal, and making birds do it. Hey, you can't rush heroism, especially when your most powerful magic attack clocks in at a full minute."
Hardcore Gamer could learn a thing or 10 from these guys.
