Looking for some peer review

Serveral style suggestions. Don't capitalize concepts, you do that alot:
"Video games"
"Today's Rock N Roll"

the proper city state format is: City, State

Cite primary sources, the orginal reporters of the game sales, not the magazine that redigested the. Apply the same concept on all your sources, orginal research, not the layman interpretation.

As for layout, I'd bring Jack Thompson into the mix earlier. Otherwise we have no clue why the fuck you're talking about media until the end of page one. If you want me to I'll do a full re-edit with you if you're willing to talk with me on skype or yahoo voice chat so I can get it done quickly. It has potential, but the flow is awkward, lead-in bores me to death. I'm not going to rewrite your paper for you, but I am willing to coach you.
MarsKitten- Skype
Marskitt3n - aim yahoo msn

I would fail hard if I turned that in.

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Originally Posted by Schlep

I would fail hard if I turned that in.

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I would fail it hard if my students turned that in.

change your opening sentence. Your first paragraph should draw the reader into the material you will be discussing, and you need to have a thesis statement - or least a statement of intent to summarize what exactly this whole paper is about.

" Media has always been a part of the American culture, when the revolution was around newspapers were a form of hiding messages and sending them to the Sons of Liberty for our country."

The part in bold is a sentence, it should end with a period. However, its such a limpid sentence. You can add all that stuff about the revolution (and provide further indepth examples after it), but you need to draw your reader in with that first sentence. There's no shame in using a thesaurus while writing - it helps your vocabulary.

also - buy a copy of the MLA handbook - you will need it.

Also, St. Martin's Guide to Writing. Saved my ass numerous times.

The War of the Worlds broadcast was done by Orson Wells in 1938. I think is was done on Holloween. It was a theatre program that was taken as a news broadcast by those who tuned in late to the program.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Schlep

I would fail hard if I turned that in.

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Yes, that is why its a rough draft, Strunk.

Yeah, but that's a rough draft.

I thought Ctrl+2 worked in OO just like Word

Awaiting the next draft.