Truth. I've also been grilled by my writing professors to never use passive voice, ever. Your paper is full of it.Quote:
Originally Posted by station82o
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Truth. I've also been grilled by my writing professors to never use passive voice, ever. Your paper is full of it.Quote:
Originally Posted by station82o
Yea, but I think you guys are going too hard on him. I remember the first few papers I turned in at college, they were terrible and my professor LOLed all the way. And I didnt even study anything involving writing (unless proofs count).Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr-K
Acting all "omg noob lol passive voice ftl" is silly.
Same for me. I go back and read my old papers and cry, but the way I learned to become better is when a professor took my paper ripped apart (figuratively) giving me C-s and such for having more than 5 major errors in it. By the end of that term I was getting A's on all of my papers just out of complete paranoia of seeing anymore red ink on my papers. Odd that I listen to that professor so much though, considering her book on Flannery O'Connor gets pretty sub-par reviews on Amazon. Ironic...Quote:
Originally Posted by diffusionx
Peer review:
How to double space in open office:
Format --> Paragraph --> line spacing: Double
Damn, this is terrible. Heres some tips:
- Avoid repeating words:
"...against video games with the proclamation that they are the cause... even going so far as to proclaim that the..."
It sounds redundant. Use a thesaurus.
- Never use the words (or variants of) I, Me, My, You, We, etc. unless your instuctor says you should. The writer isnt expressing a viewpoint (I, Me, My), the paper is, and it should be adressing an audience rather than an individual (You, We).
- Rewrite these:
"What is it that differentiates between me and the person who kills his girlfriend, then him and his parents blame a video game." (Wtf?)
"Him and Hillary Clinton are two government officials who have attacked violence in media, along with Florida Lawyer Jack Thompson." (Restate the man's name from the previous sentence, this is bad)
"It is what should happen, but doesn't happen because they use the corporations making the video games that they themselves purchased for their child, out to be the bad guys." (Thats just bad)
"But let's take a moment to look at that, is it the developers fault for creating games that cater to the interests of today's children? " (Wtf? Don't use "but" as a conjunction to start a sentence.)
- The word "very" is a quantitative filler word. Use something better.
"The series is a very violent one, involving lots of killing, stealing, and many other immoral behaviors."
Good news, he isn't using OpenOffice.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tones
Also, OpenOffice sucks. I know everyone hates Microsoft, but I'll be damned if I can't format shit really easily in Word. OpenOffice is slow, a resource hog, and is not very powerful, at least from my experience.
But its not bad for free.
Using a conjunction at the beginning of a sentence is okay in my book, it's just poorly used in this instance. A lot of rules that people abide by like not using but or because or and at the beginning of a sentence don't really apply.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhydant