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If you were dating someone for a while and were "in love", would you "wait" for them for 2 years while they go to grad school and maintain a long distance (exclusive) relationship with that person for 2 years (and see them rarely) or would you give them the heave ho? Seems I have a choice to make which is either to "stick with it" (ie... to her it's a "cop out" if I say we should remain friends and date other people) or say goodbye. Typical woman ultimatum. Opinions?
she will find someone, you will find someone. If your lives dont intersect properly now then dont worry about it. If later down the line things work out then ok.
In other words dont hold your breath for her. LDR sucks hard.
Long distance doesn't work. Cut your losses now.
Life is a bitch imo...
Stay with her, but fuck mad bitches on the side.
Not that kind of guy. Never was.Quote:
Originally Posted by Razor Ramon
You should be.
Just curious...
Why couldn't she go to school nearer to you?
Why can't you move closer to where she wants to go to school?
It seems as if neither of you are able to meet this compromise now, it is best that you go ahead and split. It's really easy to dish out advice, I know, but I would reccommend splitting up now, or dating until you/she find someone, and then break it off when necessary.
cut out of the relationship. Once she's done, come back to it if you can cause now you've got a professional woman.
Long distance does not work, unless you've got the money and time to make it work by traveling.
Heave ho.
If she's that special I'd do it, if there's a question about
her loyality I'd look into other options. I'd say give it a
try and then you can cut your losses. Of course if you're
fitting the bill for the Education than this is a whole
different story.
Been down the LDR road before. It sucks hard. Yeah, she's "special", but 2+ years of rarely seeing someone just sucks, no matter what the love factor is. If I'm that special to her, then I think that two years later we could resume what once was. It's not easy, but in a way I look forward to being single again.
Well it won't be as bad as divorce. If it were me, I'd say
go do your shit, but don't expect me to be here when you
come back. I fuckin love you but being without you for so
long is just so damn painful and destroys me as a man.
You know what I think.
You think he should do it, don't you?
knowing Burg, I don't think so.
Guess I'm going pussy-hunting soon.
I'd like to hear the answer on why she can't go to school closer to you, or you can't move.
If neither of you want to bend a little, just how special are you to each other?
The cold truth is that no matter how wonderful this girl is, the distance will be a struggle for the both of you. Not only will that eat up your time and money, but it will make each of you associate each other with stress and bullshit. Which is kind of like poison to a relationship.
I say either find a way to make this into a not so LDR, or end it.
Stay in the relationship but do your thing on the side. This world is all about you(in your eyes) so get the most out of life while you're still alive.
This is a no-brainer. There is no magical "someone" out there for you. Don't wait for anyone. True love is for people that don't know any better.
I don't understand how this is even a question that should be asked.
That's how it was for me. She was in Michigan, I was in Jersey, and I managed to see her on average once a month, and we talked all the time, and the LDR time was limited to 8 months. They can work; you just have to work at it pretty aggresively.Quote:
Originally Posted by MarsKitten
I'd cut it, just because 2 years is a long time. When she finished school and actually comes back wanting your cock, take another look at it.
On the other hand, this is TNL you're asking here. Take it with a boulder of salt.
Cut and run. Otherwise, you might end up married again.
Just like you blacks to run away from commitmentQuote:
Originally Posted by Yoshi
dtb
IBTNQuote:
Originally Posted by Biff_Pocoroba
You're married though. What happened?
I'm thinking that her asking me to be faithful for two years while she goes to grad school is a lot to ask. She is going to the closest grad school that she can find (it's in Manhattan) and she'll have to live there if she wants to work and do all that grad school entails. I have a business that's 80 miles away and have a kid that loves me and I have to spend time with. The distance isn't terribly far but given the hours that I work, the commitment to my daughter, etc... it would be nearly impossible to see each other at all and she'll be tied up as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by buttcheeks
To me, taking a break from the relationship for a while and seeing what happens down the road was the answer and I thought it was fair.
She replied with "either we stick together or we don't. I can't see breaking up for two years and magically getting back together".
So, it's her way or the highway and I'm leaning towards the highway.
My misery exists as a warning to others.Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
LAWL,
Living with them is bad enough, trust me. Now you would owe her half of your 360 games and money if she decides to get rid of your ass.
Pre-nub, bitch.
Since any woman I marry will probably make more than I (unless I hit a job at a national newspaper or television newsroom) I have to convince her not to make me sign one.
Not only is it long distance, she's in grad school. Shes going to have NO time for you. I've been through this one, and I felt the same way about my girl - it wasn't worth it in the end, and I broke up with her after 5 months. She's going to have to put school ahead of you alot, you're going to realize she makes more time for her friends than you because they're there whenever she's got time, you're not. You'll get to see her like once a month, and she'll have to cancel some of those meetings.
There's going to be some guy friend she tells you about who you want to stab because he's in the same major, gets to see her all the time, and they've got sooooo much in common.
Basically, you're going to try and suffer to be noble, telling yourself she's worth it, but all it's going to do is twist your guts around and make you feel like she's constantly putting you second or third. Unless you're goiing with her - and paying her rent - bad scene in general.
I'd make jokes, but since I feel I know ya a bit more then most of TNL I'm going to give a serious answer here.Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
When I saw you talking long distance I thought you meant across the country or something. 80 miles isn't really that long of distance. Fuck I drove 30 miles to college every day for a year when I was being a cheap fuck and living off of my parents, and I drive 20 miles a day to work now just so I don't have to live in the shithole town I teach in. You can't tell me you wouldn't be able to get together at least once a month. Obviously you won't be able to see each other as much as now, but that's not a terribly long distance relationship either. It comes down to you figuring out if you really love the girl or not. If you really do love the girl, then give it a try. It may work, it may not, who knows? But don't just cut and run so quick. If you find that you don't really love her then be done with it, this is only something to attempt if you're serious about it.
Reading what you've been saying it sounds to me like you're not really sure. Take some time and try to be sure. You don't want to drag this out if you don't need to, but it may also be a bad call to cut and run so quick too.
"What if" is the kind of thing that keeps you awake at nights. Think about this one before you make your decision. How old is this girl... is she crazy?
And yeah. 80 miles isn't shit.
You made it sound like she's moving to fucking London or something. If you really care about the girl 80 miles is not far at all, I drive 200 fairly often to see my girlfriend when school is out and we stayed together when she went to India for a semester. If you really, really loved this girl 80 miles is something you could work out, shit, I drive that far for lunch sometimes.Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
My girlfriend is 2 hours away going to OSU, I visit her usually every weekend or so, maybe every other weekend. I'd pretty much say that that's the limit of what I'd be willing to put up with, and I don't know anything about how hard grad school is. Plus my daughter doesn't exist to my knowledge. (My son is currently in Japan, and posts on these boards, OH SNAP).
Stick with her. For reals.Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
Did you really have to tell everyone Dad?Quote:
Originally Posted by Thief Silver
Thief time-raped bbobb's mom.
The traveling is possible but do you really wanna do it? I traveled to see a girl I didn't really like too much (PT, by the way. I don't own a car) and it sucked. It was only about 60 miles, though.
This really is a matter of figuring out how much you care for the girl. If your first instinct was to get out instead of trying to figure out a way to make it work out, it seems like a decent indicator that you don't think she's worth the effort. Of course I'm just speculating, what do I know.
If you two are having the LDR talk over an 80 mile distance then you both are looking for a way out. Take it.
WORD.Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
It's not just the distance, the kid + her school + his job makes time a serious issue. That's a lot for anyone to balance without a 3 hour driving period factored in. I agree with the "all or nothing" mentality on this one.
I'd say end it if only because of that. That isn't a good aditude for her to have. She should have a little faith in you that you know yourself and that if you think that you can pick it up later, you really can. Either she doesn't trust you, or doesn't think you have a good understanding of yourself. Both are bad.Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
But you know, I'm being logical. You've probably had sex with this girl and enjoy giving each other the googly eyes. Relationships are crazy.
80 miles is not 3 hours, unless you are driving through rush hour. That is about an hour and 25 minute drive under normal driving conditions.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rumpy
This here is truth.Quote:
Originally Posted by StriderKyo
Hell, I have to drive an hour and a half going 90 mph for booty, but it's good booty.
Either way, stick it out for a while, I'm sure she'll understand (may even be happy in some scenarios) if you call it off.
Round trip son! Gotta drive back home sometime you know.Quote:
Originally Posted by buttcheeks
I would definitely say that sticking with a long distance relationship is worth it if the girl is right, but if you're asking about it on a message board she might not be as right as you want.
No girl is worth gas money.
Cut out.
Fuck other cunts while she's out of town. Win-win IMO.Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
You are a gentleman, sir. A damned fine gentleman.Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
This is where it's at. It's not the 80 miles, it's the 60 hour work weeks (that typically end @ either 9 or 10PM), seeing my kid on weekends, her being tied up in school during the week, etc... I really don't see us being able to connect all that often, if at all. If I were 25 with a bullshit job and no kid, I'd go hang out with her every weekend and see what happens. As it is, it's going to be next to impossible to get together. And 1.5 hours commuting into Manhattan is fantasy (+ the fact that I live nearly 120 miles away, the job is 80 miles away). Guess I'm having round 2 of talks in a few minutes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rumpy
Exactly.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gymkata
Long distance only has a remote chance of working over short periods, or if the relationship began that way. When you go from being close to having be in a long distance relationship, kiss it goodbye.
Never say never though. Relationships always exist in phases, and like everything in life, being with someone again is only a chance meeting at the right time away.
Because your decision is teetering between the two choices...
If your daughter likes her, try sticking it out. If she doesn't like her, or doesn't have a preference, consider moving on.
Didn't read the responses, but NO.Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
Don't. You can't trust her, women want to be satisfied as much as possible at all times, she's in love with the idea now but probably won't be for long. You'll be left holding the goddamned check and that's 2 years you won't get a fucking refind for. Drop the bitch like a hot rock.
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
Seriously, I have seen alot of long distance relationships break down into distrust and ultimately something far far worse than just breaking it off as is.
Take into consideration that there are month long winter breaks and summers off too. So she'll be gone for maybe three months at a time.Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
IBTNQuote:
Originally Posted by Josh
You're only 19. What, did you knock someone up at 12?:blank:Quote:
Originally Posted by Thief Silver
He's clearly joking.Quote:
Originally Posted by gamevet
Long distance is really tough, requires tremendous willpower, discipline, honesty and faith. Seeing I have none of those, it didn't work for me.
Clearly. You have to have sex in order to have a child.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nomi
http://pages.infinit.net/nwo4life/scott-hall.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by Razor Ramon
That picture right there is sex enough. Im pretty sure that he impregnated several women with that pic alone.Quote:
Originally Posted by g0zen
ONE MORE...for da bad guys.
Kill the kid imoQuote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
That's a stupid thing to say to any parent.Quote:
Originally Posted by icarusfall
I killed one of my kids before. I regret nothing.
This is Long Island. Every mile counts as 10.Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
Anyway, stick to your guns. She'll love you for it. You'll get more play from her if you keep your options open because you'll have the upper hand *and* you'll have other options. Even if she says "it's over" it probably won't be because women can't comprehend rejection.
burgandy is like the sex yoda
"stick it in her pooter you will, yes"
She's not a typical chick in that sense. High morals, high principles and high expectations. This won't fly.Quote:
Originally Posted by burgundy
In any event, I'm still leaning towards going fishing for something new, regardless of how I feel. This relationship can't go anywhere for years and that's a bit much for me, being an old geezer and all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
High maintenence. Sounds pretty typical to me.
Yeah, but she is a really good girl. I'm torn.
Crap.
Suicide imo.
You're always the sunshine on a rainy day, baby.
I do what I can.
There are tons of really good girls.Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
Agreed, plenty of really good girls out there. It is nice to know that you put your kid as a priority over your gf.
I'm a great dad. Seriously.Quote:
Originally Posted by kingoffighters
Confirmed.Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
At least Haoh doesn't lock his kid in the bathroom when it's time to defend his Smackdown Vs. Raw 2006 title against Korly.
Not that anyone on TNL would. Especially not an admin. From Chicago. Who owns the site. And hates waitresses.