http://www.dont-marry.com/
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Seeing that link and your "Jaded Past" custom status made me giggle. :p
LOL!
I'm halfway done with this and by witnessing the marriage of my parents I can say that this essay is on the money.
90% of this essay is a strike against western women, not against the tenets of marriage itself. My parents have had a successful, happy marriage for more than 22 years, and I think I know part of the reason:
Marry the daughter of an immigrant. Seriously. They've spent their entire lives between cultures, and their parents likely had to work extremely hard and honestly in order to enjoy the lifestyle this country can afford them. The result is a person who is aware of their freedoms but is responsible and respectful of the effort it takes to enjoy it. This is how I observed things at college, where there was a huge population of Asian engineering students, male and female alike, whose family came to NY just to get him educated.
Not to mention my mother is 100% Colombian, but came up here, became fluent in English, went to college, and basically busted ass in order to live the way she wanted. That kind of discipline inspires a greater sense of responsibility, and I don't doubt for a moment it's that discipline that helps their marriage through many rough times.
You're so white, though.
I inherited my father's looks, it's true, and his side of the family is Irish/Western European. But my large frame and facial features are my mother's side, I look a lot like my uncle basically.Quote:
Originally Posted by Razor Ramon
If things went as planned I'd be engaged right now. And as time goes on I'm starting to realize the fact that I'm not is a very good thing.
Freedom rules...
A lot of that essay reflects my personal sentiments on marriage with Western women. Although, some of the stereotypes discussed don't seem as applicable nowadays (the cheating discussion, for example).
I also agree with Trialsword that marrying either an immigrant daughter (or even someone who's an immigrant herself) would provide for a better marriage.
They brought up something that has always bothered me
I hate all those stupid sitcoms with nit-wit men and smart women, which is about 95% of them. Simpsons, Family Guy, Raymond, King of Queens, Friends, and on and on. TV really is a fantasy world.Quote:
"Stupid, Irresponsible" Men
Men are severely abused in our media, quite frankly. Just watch any TV commercial or sitcom and see how they portray men as idiots, dolts, or well intentioned, if bumbling, buffoons. If women were portrayed in commercials in the same fashion, “Women’s Organisations” would have a fit. If it weren’t for their wives in these shows and ads the men would be lost "animals", unable to feed themselves or perform even the simplest of tasks. Other commercials make it appear that men act without thinking, only responding in an impulsive and irrational manner, and that the wife is the brains of the family.
Seriously, don't get married to a dumb, financially irresponsible woman. Problem is, financially independent, intelligent women expect a relationship of equals. Most people are little more than 20ish children.
I've been hearing the guys at my law school talk about how they won't date or marry any woman here because they're exactly like the men. Driven, hard working and pressed for time to the exclusion of a social life. They want someone who'll drop everything for the moments they have free time.
Get over it, that is equality. If you want to, marry a traditional woman who will be quiet, complicit and utterly useless on her own. But don't be surprised when she grows as a person and isn't the quiet, complicit girl you married.
Men, grow a pair pls.
If I could meet a hot female lawyer I would be all over that. Give me the double income gravy train.
Problem is she'll be like: fuck off, cases to win, get me a appletini bitch.
/thats me at least
Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
Is Galaxia the daughter of an immigrant?Quote:
Originally Posted by TrialSword
Nope, but I'm the son of an immigrant, so it works out.Quote:
Originally Posted by burgundy
laffQuote:
Originally Posted by Yoshi
"My granddad told me an insightful story before my wedding. He said for the first year of marriage to put a penny in a jar every time I had sex with my wife. Starting in year two, take out two pennies every time we had sex. He said there'd be money in the jar when I died. I think he's going to be right. "
Yeah, it'll work out... exactly how that essay says it would. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by TrialSword
I wrote that web site back in like 1994.
Thank you for posting this hoah, this page was brutal. Some his points made me laugh out loud at the sheer insanity of this institution.
The problem with that article is that he's assuming that all men marry single-minded, lazy, selfish women - which is exactly what he's trying to say men are not. He's dispelling one extreme while going over to the other, and the whole thing is filled with subjectivity and half-truths.
One thing is clear though: This dude got burned bad by a woman.
Yes, he made it clear that he was talking about Western women.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melf
Ah, gotcha. I thought he was just making a sweeping and subjective generalization. :p
A non single-minded, lazy, & selfish woman is extremely rare. There is often little choice in finding better. Women exist primarily to steal your $$ and destroy any amount of happiness you have in life.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melf
I almost married a Polish-born girl, but after living in this country for 10 years she had already been transformed into a lazy whore who felt entitled to my money, time, and emotional energy.
Did anyone check out the links on this page? Check this out:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/121436951.html
tldr? stfu plzQuote:
A public service announcment for guys about marriage
Date: 2005-12-30, 10:04AM EST
OK guys, I was talking last night and we got a consensus of at least ten guys that the following is what lies ahead for you in marriage. So think carefully before you pop the question.
Year one: Sex, sex, sex. All you could want. On the floor, in the woods, the car, the beach. Every time you’re alone, you’re banging like rabbits. Nothing is off limits. Nowhere either one of you won’t lick, tickle or tease. Each time you look at her naked body, you are filled with gratitude that God has given you this woman.
Year two: It slows down, but you try to keep it hot just out of fear. You don’t want to become one of those couples. But now there’s no more spontaneous blowjobs. Things are more routine, but that’s OK because you’re still getting it regular and you’re happy.
Years 3-5: Along comes the house and kids. Through it all, you find less and less time or reason to have sex. You go from 7 or more orgasms a week down to probably once a month. You get a bloated beer belly and your love handles turn into big bulges. She gets flabby with baby weight that just won’t go away. The second kid is even worse. She refuses to get stitched up after the second kid and so she’s now so loose you can’t even come inside her. When you do have sex, it’s like fucking a bowl of pudding.
Years 5-7: You decide to get back in shape, to try to revive your sex life. You get trimmed down at the gym, almost to where you were before marriage. She gives it a half-hearted effort, but can’t make much progress. She refuses to wear any lingerie you buy her, instead coming to bed in a T-shirt (if you’re lucky) or a torn up set of PJs. And you now have to beg and schedule sex, which is cold and automatic. You now are masturbating regularly. In the shower, in the bathroom at work, anywhere, anytime you have a private moment. But the effect is minimal and you are constantly horny. For the first time, you will contemplate divorce. You’ll visit web sites about it and perhaps skim a book in the bookstore about divorce.
Years 7-9: You find yourself staring in amazement at this woman and trying to remember when she was hot. Want a preview? Picture your girlfriend, now thicken up her arms by a third. Picture her ass all flattened and her legs thicker and more muscular. When you do convince her to make love, she usually quickly gets on her knees for you to enter her from behind and asks you not to fuckup her cold cream while you’re doing her. She’s dry as a bone and the scent of unwashed ass wafts up as you’re trying to bang her. She is hoping for another baby, but it seems unlikely. Your stomach churns at just the thought. By now you’ve had an affair or two. Maybe a crazy chick at the office or a couple hookers now and then, but the stress of it is too much. You are in disbelief that you are actually now masturbating in bed beside her as she snores.
Year 9: It’s over. You occasionally score some outside poontang, but it’s expensive. Your wife now openly scorns any advances you make. If you suggest she get in shape, she labels you a woman-hater. Real men like women with curves, not sticks. Curves, sure, you think, but not roll after roll of blubber. She has stopped shaving, so that if you try to go down on her the hair is everywhere, matted and full of snarls. You hope to God she’s banging someone on the side, but you know it’s unlikely. You try to titty fuck her, but she doesn’t like that. There’s now no way to have an orgasm while you’re actually touching her.
Year 10: You can’t sleep through the night. Even masturbating doesn’t help. You surf the Web or drink into the wee hours, praying for death’s sweet release to come and take you or her. You’ve talked with a lawyer, but after he lays out the reality for you, you know that can’t afford divorce unless you’re prepared to live in your parent’s basement while all your income goes toward maintaining your wife and kids. Plus, you love the kids. You can’t bear the thought of splitting up their family. Your future stretches before you like a desert, baking and sucking the life out of anything that tries to cross it.
Half-truths except for the fact they are so often true. Most of my friends are now married. Most have only been married for a 1-3 years. And already the majority of my married male friends are unhappy and all but saying they regret getting married.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melf
A coworker of mine told me about his last job where they had a vote to work either four 10 hour days or five 8 hour. He loved the idea of always having 3 day weekends and was shocked to see it got voted against almost unanimously. He asked a coworker why and he said "you're obviously not married, I'm not spending another whole day with that bitch"
Anecdotal evidence sure, but when it comes to unhappy marriages -- especially the man -- this anecdotal evidence is everywhere.
(And obviously there are happily married men out there too, my Dad is one of them, but I definitely have come to believe they are a very lucky minority)
The funniest thing about marriage is, and women don't get this, is:
If a man is married to a woman, he most probably thinks she's "the one" and all that stuff and will, more than likely, bend over backwards to do the "little things" that are required to make a woman feel important IF:
He gets laid once in a while, is allowed to drink here and there, and can see his buddies once in a while. If a guy is getting this stuff, he's happy. If all of this becomes a chore, simply tolerated, or an outright project for the woman then the man will not be happy anymore. I know this is terribly oversimplified, but for the most part it's true. If this stuff is reasonably forthcoming, the guy won't have a problem mowing the lawn, helping around the house, going out to dinner, etc...
Women turn sex into a huge mindfuck after being married for a while (most women, not all women, and particularly western women) and will convince themselves that everything else has higher priority over this. Where and when they decide that orgasms simply aren't worth the time or that fucking the old bastard is "duty" and not something that's also for them is beyond me. Lived it and heard too many stories from too many people that are exactly the same and the shame of it all is that guys are really, really simple to keep happy if they love you.
Women need to be encouraged towards a healthy sexual outlook. This whole prude shit as a standard needs to stop. Sex is healthy, exciting and definitely anything but dull.
If they can handle that responsibility. But people are glorified children who can pay rent these days.
Bill Burr has a great bit about marriage where he calls it a financial contract that you would never sign in a million years if it was over business. It's ridiculously one sided and divorce law in this country is absolutely ridiculous.
Most of the rest of what's said on the site is whatever, but there's precisely no reason why a man should have to keep paying his ex for years even when they don't have kids.
Definitely not in this age of equality and feminism. Becoming accustomed to a lifestyle is no excuse for not getting a job or pursuing a career. If kids are involved, it's different.Quote:
Originally Posted by Frogacuda
My girlfriend just caught me reading the article and grew enraged with me. I told her too bad, gender-biased or not (and I do agree with her and Melf that the guy does seem to have some issues with women), it's all fucking true and she knows it. The marriage issue is beginning to become a real pain in the ass.
You don't even have to be married for this to be true. If you stay with someone long enough this seems to be the fate you are doomed to. The fact is that you will never have hotter sex with a person than the first few times you fuck them, and after that it's downhill.Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
This is inevitable to a degree, I guess, and I imagine that it's true for women too. But I can't think of a time where I've totally lost interest in someone I'm still with sexually and not wanted to try and maintain that level of intensity. And even if you still keep the sex up, proper blowjobs become a thing of the past when it once seemed she couldn't keep your dick out of her mouth if there was 5 minutes and a modicum of privacy. And everything, like doing the laundry or getting to work early, seems to become a more exciting proposition than sex to her. WTF?
Yup. Every long term relationship I've had has turned into a "marriage" after a year or so. Which is why I don't understand the whole "when first married you have sex like rabbits", does marriage somehow revive that for a little bit?Quote:
Originally Posted by Vasteel
Angry brown guys are so awesome.
I'm getting a rock solid pre nup before my marriage and always thought men who didn't were idiots (unless they married rich women). She's taking my last name too, otherwise it's hit the curb honey. And if we get divorced she won't walk away empty handed. It will just be a fair deal for her so she doesn't fuck me over for the rest of my life.
No. Honestly, the only way I could see that happening is if she was under her parents' roof before the marriage, so you didn't have enough opportunity.Quote:
Originally Posted by torgo
I hate the whole marriage ceremony itself. I just dread having to go through it. I think my dream wedding is a nice outdoor cookout type of deal. You know, if the girl invites like 100 people, which seems typical for a middle-class wedding, it'll cost you what, $1000 max to feed them and get them beered up? I've mentioned this to a few girls, including my current girlfriend, and they all got very standoffish about the whole thing.
It's one thing if her dad is paying for it, and he can afford it, but if a mid-20 something couple doesn't even have a house yet, why go into so much debt over a party? It doesn't take money or platters of dainty food to enjoy the company of others, you know.
What's the cost of the ring up to now? 2 months' paychecks?
The key is to live with them first. No way you get married after that.
That page may contain facts, but it is very hard to separate the facts from the exagerations and generalizations. The author's message would benefit greatly if the "anti-women" tone of the whole article was taken down about 10 notches.
Yeah, I'll agree that it's stupid to throw yourself into a deep pit of debt with an expensive ring/ceremony/honeymoon right at the begining of your adult life. But that message gets lost while the reader winces over the author's horrible bitterness towards all things female.
Except the woman has been dreaming of a huge, beautiful wedding ever since she was 9 years old. Women aren't exactly known for their practicality, and most men are at least a little bit whipped, so...Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheebs
Rule of thumb is 3 months, minimum.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tones
Another thing to note is that marriage wasn't as common among the youth of yesteryear. The majority of people seeking marriage were in their late 20's and early 30's. And it wasn't all that uncommon to see a 32 year old man marry a 20 year old girl.
Nowadays kids that are 18 are pledging marriage not realizing what a huge burden and undertaking it is. The one thing I'm good at is money (and women) and I would hate to see my kid someday not be able to live up to his potential because me and my wife couldn't afford to do something for him because we married before we were financially mature enough to handle a family (sports, extra curricular lessons like painting or karate, or camp, etc). The average middle class child costs about 400,000 dollars to raise and I don't think that figure even factors in education, which is easily another 40k - 100k for a respectable school.
The "I LOVE YOU!" lets get married approach is foolish. People my age fall in and out of love with one another like wildfire. Getting married at the drop of a hat is probably a leading contributer to the astronomically high divorce rate.
I have a lot of money for someone my age. A ridiculous amount of money and I plan on living in investment properties for 6 years to bolster my credit and equity. Living in a house in a hot market for 2 years and selling is the easiest money you'll ever make. I wouldn't be able to do that with kids. A wife might put up with it because cash is like womens viagra, but kids dont like that shit.
That must be some school for $100M.Quote:
Originally Posted by Drewbacca
I caught that.
A (female) friend actually told me, with a straight face, that the size of the ring is a direct statement on the size of your love for the woman.Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
The real shitty part about female "entitlement" is that there are few good alternatives. I am still putting off my return to dating because I don't want to get gold-dug like usual. It almost seems that the only worthwhile "relationship" is the fuck-then-dump approach...
One of my exes said "If you can spend $20,000 on a car you can spend that on a ring too. It's for the love of your wife after all"Quote:
Originally Posted by Zerodash
Yeah, there's no way this is happening, on sheer principle. Jewelry is fucking stupid, imo. Just buy a fake. No one is going to know the difference.Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
I wouldn't spend that much on either.Quote:
Originally Posted by torgo
If women weren't such vile rotten cunts then maybe he'd be able to tone it down a bit. Unfortunately this is the real world, and bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheebs
I read something very similar to this, probably by the same guy since he has a lot of the same ideas, especially with the emphasis on western women.
I like how he acts as if you don't have control over what type of person you marry, or that every women falls into his biased description. If you really made the mistake of marrying someone who wanted to control your money, deprive you of sex, or sit around the house without a job, then just tell her to get the fuck out.
If you don't want to get married then don't get married, but it's unfair for this guy to assume everyones doomed for divorce just because his marriage got screwed up.
You are 18 years old.
Not that I disagree entirely, but a lot of times it's hard to know what type of girl she is until it's too late.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rated E
Yeah that seemed to be the big issue, but how long are we talking before someone decides to tie the knot? I'd say at least 5 years and after living them just to be on the safe side. I can't imagine not knowing someone inside out after that timespan.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nash
Then again, I'm only 18, as Josh pointed out.
They should create gag weddings where the bride thinks she's getting married. Then when she reveals who she really is you can pull out no strings attached. I'm not sure how long it took before the rock was on her hand before bitchzilla presented. I'm guessing it couldn't have been more than a few months.
I guess I'm one in the minority. I'm not in debt, I don't like shopping, I don't even own a purse. My ring cost $0. Family hand me down. Also doubled as the engagement ring. Wedding cost = 100 for judge services, 60 for marriage license, 45 for the dress. $205 total. No flowers, none of that shit.
The reception was not our idea, but our combined family's thing. We simply had to show up.
And we lived together for a year before getting hitched and I've known him for 7 years. I won't go into our personal business, but I have to say that things are very good still. Those who know me know I love sex. That's all I'll say.
I'm planning on finishing my BA, and going back to work asap. edit. btw I have a college fund, so he is not paying for my school. Not planning on kids for a good 4-5 years. We are going to enjoy each other for a long while before getting into the hell which is child rearing.
I dont understand why I am the minority. i guess because getting married wasn't really what I ever wanted to do. I honestly didn't think someone would ever want to be married to me. I'm sort of amazed. So when it did happen, it was new. It wasnt some crazy childhood fantasy wedding, it was like "why spend all that fucking money on one stupid day? Me who hates flowers and big fluffy fru fru. lets take that money, save some of it, go on a kick ass honey moon etc" I don't know... there are no words.
We just had our year anniversary. I'm going to venture and say we're pretty happy. I know I am, and I'm pretty sure he is.
This guy sounds like my sister. but interesting points. Some woman hurt this guy badly...
Evil Medical School imoQuote:
Originally Posted by Yoshi
I'm too young to give a shit about marriage. I've never been a romantic person, so I'll just leave it at that i sincerely hope any potential husband of mine is down with pre-nups. I wish they were mandatory.
And good fucking god stop encouraging women to get diamond rings, or absurd ones anyway. I'm not a big jewelry person at all, and I detest gold. At most I'd want a plain silver band or something. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND women freaking out about diamond rings.
I think a ring could be the perfect final test to see if it's the right girl, meaning, she wants marriage for the right reasons: Propose with a stainless steel engagement band for her; if she says yes, than
she's the girl.
Many women think this way (though, the girl I'm dating is from the M/Nomi school of thought that jewelry is stoopid) and perhaps it's something for the social bragging circles. I, personally, don't care much for jewelry because paying hundreds or thousands of dollars to walk around with some gemstone or precious metal around your neck or on your finger never made sense to me. Put it towards the house, the college fund, or a vehicle.Quote:
Originally Posted by torgo
My girlfriend hates Jewelry except Necklaces. And they just have to look interesting or good, not expensive.
I need to find these women. Some of the girls I've dated are very superficial. I just like those type of women and I know I'm going to pay for it in the future.
In jewelry's defense, it really is an investment. A car depreciates the moment you sign on the dotted line, jewelry will stay pretty constant and possibly even go up in value.Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
But they're never going to fucking sell that thing anyways.
They will when they leave your ass.
lol good point.
Can I like, write up a contract when I get the ring saying that to whomever has the ring it is simply being loaned out from me and must be return upon my whim?
You can just kill her and forgo the entire process.
True. Or. I can have You kill her.
I'm 98% sure I can commit the perfect murder.
I'm intrigued. I'll give you a call, and 10% less of what the woman would have got when she divorced me.
(if)
You can't get to work riding on a wedding ring. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by torgo
If I want to make an investment then sure, diamonds are a good route. But you don't hand a girl a stack of CDs or other investment documents when you're proposing, so it's not the same thing. If you're gonna buy jewels for monetary security I have no problem with it, but people in their 20s aren't typically on the market to invest in diamonds for later profit. They're on the market to be stupid and follow a really crappy and senseless tradition.Quote:
Originally Posted by torgo
Sure you canQuote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/a...1&d=1177349941
:)
Green Lantern would not approve.
Is the line that stands out to me the most of this whole thing.Quote:
What exactly does marriage mean to me in today's world?
Marriage means nothing to me right now. I have absolutely no desire to get married and I don't care about it. I wouldn't feel any more for the woman I'm with if I married her that I do now. Maybe that will change with time, but I think until I feel that way I won't get married.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thief Silver
I doubt it will change man - because you are 100 percent right - and I think anyone who claims marriage makes them love their partner any more is full of shit and/or retarded.
Make her watch the movie Blood Diamond and she'll never want to buy another diamond again. The man that produced that movie is a hero.Quote:
Originally Posted by haohmaru
Most non-gold diggers can't be found at clubs or bars.Quote:
Originally Posted by Razor Ramon
He's not flying ON the ring though. He's just using its magic powers.Quote:
Originally Posted by torgo
So that's 90% of women. You have to be careful too. A lot of women like Nomi say they don't care about that shit, but when they get a little older and see their friends with shiny rocks they want one too. Monkey-see monkey-do is the primary form of their actions.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spent
Your avatar, and that last statement.
It doesn't take much for a girl to get jealous. Once the first wedding ring shows up the neurons in their brains start firing differently. And when the first baby shows up? They sleep with the sound of a clock ticking in their head.Quote:
Originally Posted by Drewbacca
Damn, you're right. Well, there goes my argument. And it was such a solid one too :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Drewbacca
Seriously, what rational person wants a huge traditional wedding anymore, there's much better and needed things a new couple needs other than a huge send off. Like rent, debt relief (school loans/debts) and possibly a nice honeymoon.Quote:
Originally Posted by M
Fuck the rings, if someone proposed to me with a nice (but non absurdly priced) ring, I'd totally be cool with that. Infact a diamond would even offend me and probally warrant a, "its over, you totally don't get me."
I didn't see someone with an ape avatar and then do it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Thief Silver
That's a lie.
Spent was telling me about a guy he used to work with named Dave. Dan or Dave, I don't usually listen to Spent's stories with much intensity. Anyway when him and this guy were in a restaurant the waitress, who was about 30, came up and he saw that she didn't have a ring on her finger he asked her.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rumpy
Dan: "You want my number, don't you?"
Waitress: "No, I have a boyfriend."
Dan: "You're not married, I don't see a ring."
Waitress: "No I'm not."
Dan *winking and clicking his teeth: "You'd better hurry up with that honey. Your star's starting to fade."
He also refused to tip. And not only that but he doesn't want YOU to tip either. If his girlfriend leaves a tip he makes an excuse when they're in the car about to drive away to walk back in and pick it up off the table.
Anyway long story short she's married now -- women are so impressionable, it's crazy! Now if you'll excuse me I have a shoe to cut through with the new knives I just bought for 5 easy payments of 19.99.
This is a myth.Quote:
Originally Posted by torgo
Seriously. Unless it's a genuine 1840's Tiffany and Co. presidents' wifes' diamond, who buys used nice jewelry? Pawn shop?
For about 1/10 what you paid for it, yeah.
Ugh, keep it in check.Quote:
Originally Posted by Drewbacca