Printable View
if im not going to be home for a dropoff i always leave a note plastered on the door. even though they need one, i have NEVER signed for a package before. not entirely safe on their end but it gets the job done.Quote:
Originally Posted by Razor Ramon
UPS ftw.
korly tends to think otherwise.Quote:
Originally Posted by Thief Silver
I've driven through Pittsburgh too and noticed that, go figure.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dyne
That's what Rte 50 is like in MD. Straight shot, maybe 2 hills and a couple turns; everyone freaks out and comes to an unnecessary stop only to get back up to speed after the stoppage. That shit enrages me to no end. W T F!!!!!!!
Side note, I have yet to hear someone tell me that my theory of driving is incorrect. I'm still waiting for a legitimate argument. Since I haven't (nor do I anticipate it) I'm going to continue to refine my theory and start documenting shit. This has to stop before it gets worse - and it will, mark my words.
Who knows? Maybe in the next 10 years you might see me on the news going over new driving policies that this country needs - especially in the growing suburban/metropolitan areas.
I ate chipotle at lunch and had a few beers, now I have the dreaded TACO SHITS of DEATH!
OMG I sharted so bad today at work. Fucking mini wheats.
I'm going to have to drop my prob class. Math classes with two test, and each one determines if you can pass the class, are freaking sweet.
and I'm failing everything because of sleep deprivation. I have 4 classes, and three labs, all upper level classes.
Oh, and Hub is a fag that is too good to answer my pms about cooking hamburgers.
give me some time cheeks. this requires some thought.
Sharting? You are srs bizness sir!
I didn't eat yesterday, so after work I stopped at Wendys. Then went to see Resident Evil Extinction. No sooner than when we sit down, my stomach starts to bubble and cramp. I think "oh shit" (or it could have been "oh, shit") and run to the bathroom mere seconds before a chocolate waterfall erupts from my ass.
I wait in there a few more minutes because with episodes like this, I usually clean up and start to leave the bathroom when all of a sudden I realize I'm not as done as I thought I was.
So, my bowels finally empty, I go back into the theater. MY buddy laughs at me and says," You just missed the Iron Man trailer, it looked awesome!"
That sucked enough in of itself.
So we watch the abomination that is Resident Evil, leave the theater, and my stomach begins to bubble again. Apparently there was a lot more "butter topping" on my corn that I thought. I ran to a grocery store that is opened 24 hours and let loose four gallons of yellowy mucous out of my ass. It wouldn't stop coming. I had to sit in there for twenty minutes. My leg fell asleep because I was hunched over with my elbows digging into my thighs.
Good fucking times.
As bad as those shits are, you can't say they don't feel good when they're over.
That sounds like good 'ol food poisoning to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by John Cena
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Cena
you might be onto something there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Type Ryan
Real food poisoning is far more excruciating than JC's story. I know firsthand...I wished, no, prayed for death to come and whisk away the pain after an unfortunate Sonic coney-dog experience. It was about 10 hours of dry heaving.Quote:
Originally Posted by Type Ryan
My computer froze and after I reset it, instead of loading GRUB and booting Ubuntu like normal, it went to Windows XP instead. Dumbfounded, I rebooted my computer and it continued to go into Windows XP again. Turns out my Maxtor hard drive crapped out on me so almost 300GB of my data, pretty much everything I've downloaded/saved in the last 5 months, is now gone.
I once had a Domino pizza slice that fucked me up for 3 days. I even shat in my dreams it was that bad.
You can use software to fish out files.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikhal
Why did you pay to see RE??? :td:Quote:
Originally Posted by John Cena
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mykozo
JC's description seems to be a minor case. I think I have a pretty descriptive account of legitimate food-poisoning - it's in the Technicolor Yawn thread (I think).
Long story short, I had "stuff" coming out of me from both ends at the same time after eating some deli sandwich in Pasadena. My whole day was ruined.
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Cena
I always knew my brain was being put to good use. Ah, the powers of deduction.
Because the fag that I go to movies with has poor taste?Quote:
Originally Posted by kingoffighters
We alternate picks, and last night was his pick.
If its not forgetting i had made a large amount of changes
or that i wanted it exported in a certain aspect ratio but it stretches beyond belief
or that i want the transition to play at exactly this time and it absolutely wont play
its EXPORTING PROBLEMS. For some god damn reason 2 scenes in this short play out of sync after exported, yet play perfectly in the workflow. wtf. honestly.
So my cell phone has a blank screen right now. I can still make calls (to phone numbers which I rememebered) and receive them, but no text messaging capabilities, and I can't call people to who I don't know their phone numbers by heart.
Long story short, I can't call those people to sell tickets for my next show and this makes me realllly sad.
So, if you're going to be in Baltimore tomorrow night, anyone want to buy tickets to my show? Bueller? Anyone?
Oh Noes!!!1Quote:
Originally Posted by Type Ryan
How will you hook up with the other fags? You will have to resort to smoke signals!
so some asshole has throws a rage fit on me on the road today, cuts me off with the intention of me to rear end him 3 times, had to call the cops on the stupid bastard.
Also fuck you compressor, you did such a horrible job with my DVD encode that i lost points on what was THE BEST project of the entire class.
Protip: Don't export from FCP with Compressor. The reason for this is that Compressor sucks.Quote:
Originally Posted by B-Ri
Export > Quicktime Movie > (in the "Setting" tab, leave it at "Current Setting")
In DVD Studio Pro, Import Asset (your exported QT movie, duh), and let DVD Studio Pro do the encode for you. Works every time.
Noob.
Uh, yeah noob.
I have no idea what the fuck you guys are talking about
Fucking crackheads and their fucking selling shit and putting my drawer negative early in the day.
Being too tired to even want to play XBL tonight since I haven't played Halo in a few days.
People stalking me over the internet and being fucking pussies about it.
These things all are making me uber happy today.
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Cena
Who needs all that when all I have to do is get a hold of you through TNL? lover:eep:
So I got this phone. It rocks. I like it. Fuck you very much.Quote:
Originally Posted by Type Ryan
Except for the fact that DVD Studio is essentially using compressor in the background when it does this. Its strange how it seems to work so much faster though. Either way, the more I work with it, the more im realizing that software mpeg 2 encoders are horrible, and that hardware is the way to go (but of course thats irrelevant in B-Ri's case, due to price and stuff).Quote:
Originally Posted by Mykozo
I got a shitty grade on a Bio exam that I thought I did pretty well on. :td:
This means I actually have to get into some decent study habits. Psh.
My car blew a fucking pulley carting along the ol' serpetine belt today, 359 dollars.
I got home from work and walked in on my cat raping my sister.
btw, my cat is horny a lot.
I took a poop today, but it kind of spurted out and I ended up getting some poop splatter on my balls. I had to take a shower.
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by stormy
that freakin rules.
I don't have a job.
Know anyone who wants to hire a graphic designer with no college degree and no work experience?
I'm pretty good.
I can confirm this. I thought you were going to die.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mykozo
I've got a mad crush on my bank manager. :cry:
I'm 5' 7"; she's 5' 10." She's in her mid-twenties and has an MBA from Cox; I may not have a degree and make about 25k selling hemp jewelry and Spin Doctors shirts. Do you think it could work out? :D
I... I still can't believe anything Doc Holliday says is true. Those aren't him in those pictures, and this isn't him posting.
He doesn't live in the top of a barn in Arizona nor have sex with animals.
IT CAN'T BE!
Yeah. If you're good at slinging yourself you can do anything you want.
Doc is the real deal. Trust me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Thief Silver
oh no doubt do you feel good, but i'm always TERRIFIED to wipe. always seems like you make more of a mess trying to clean up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Razor Ramon
i got food poisoning before. my god. pretty much went like this.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mykozo
-wake up in the middle of the night with really bad heartburn
-wake up in the morning almost ready to shit in the bed
-3 salvos of chocolate water
-one hour later the puking starts
-rest of the day is spent dry heaving and like you said, praying for death
There is little in this world worse than a day long dry heaving session.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
true. then you get the pressure headache and your eyes feel like they want to burst out of your skull with every heave. then you look all fucked up and your eyes are bloodshot. i've broken vessels many times and looked like i had bloody eyes.
oh god. i HATE getting the gurgle attack in the middle of wiping. it never fails.Quote:
Originally Posted by John Cena
After getting back from lunch, I circled the building twice to find there was not one available parking spot remotely near the side I work on. I had to park in the visitors section at the front, on the complete opposite side of the building. Then the security guard was holding me up and asked to see my badge twice because he "didn't recognize me," in an accusing tone. Sorry that I actually sit at my desk working most of the time instead of chatting up the security, chief.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
Nor is there any abdominal workout quite like dry heaving. Abs of Steel imo...
I think I just shit fire. I could have sworn I saw a halapeno going down when I flushed.
a certain someone's ex/soon to be was supposed to blow me today in trade for a Neo Geo. I went all weekend without touching myself, and even went to great lengths to eat nothing but bananas so my shit would be extra flavorful and enjoyable for her. I came to work all excited for my eventual release only to find out the THE LYING BITCH SAYS SHE WAS JOKING! NO BLOW JOB FOR ME!!!
I guess I should be happy that I get to keep the Neo, but I could have really used the blowjob.
She should post in the good news/story thread about this.
I'm rolling a blunt because it's a nice warm night outside and ol' girl gets me a stale Cigarillo!
I'm out of pot.
I hate you.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm not really enjoying smoking this stale, crackedy ass blunt. Ok, maybe a little bit.
I'd smoke high school quality shake out of a fucking tin can right now and sing praises to Allah.
The new posta.Quote:
Originally Posted by Thief Silver
shit jalapeno :(
ill be burning my next project much ahead of time, and making a few copies to get the kinks out for max quality. Keep in touch folks, ill need you to trial and error with me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mezz
I used a clone a willy kit to make a replica of my penis and it was a real fucking mess. Anyone here ever have to scrape hardened casting material off their balls, gooch and asshole before?
I don't think it turned out too well, but we have to wait 24 hours for the latex or whatever the fuck it is to harden. I have a odd looking tube of penis shaped goo on my kitchen counter right now. I hope my mom doesn't come for a visit tomorrow.
Also: if you have ever wanted to know what fucking a diarrhea lined vacuum cleaner hose feels like I highly recommend the clone a willy kit. Its fun for the whole family. Or at least its fun for whoever is watching you stand butt naked in your kitchen with a leaky cylinder of lukewarm snot on your dick while you struggle mightly to maintain an erection.
Oh. Don't you fags worry... I'll post pictures of my cloned penis as soon as its done.
how long must you keep the erection?
2 minutes.
Its a bit more difficult than it may seem. Especially when you can feel your balls puckering from whatever demon liquid is drying on them.
Oh no it sounds quite difficult. All my life I've been confronted with the task of trying to get rid of unwanted erections. This sounds like a formidable feat.
Yeah. I can sometimes hold a morning glory until the middle of the day. Multiple pissings don't do shit. Didn't help me in this situation at all.
Tomorrow at 9:45 pm est we will know for sure.
Mr. Hubbard, do you care to come to the front of the class and show us on the chalkboard how you worked your equation?Quote:
Originally Posted by Hubbitron
NO I'LL JUST TAKE THE ZERO FOR THE DAY. OK!
This is why my gpa was so low in high school...
Some asshole cut me off on the highway and threw a rock into my windshield. Also midterms ftl.
This is where your Burnout 3 skills help you in real life experiences.Quote:
Originally Posted by Schlep
I finally got a tattoo and the one person I'm dying to show it to is on vacation in Florida. C'mon man, 12 years, and you gotta be gone for this? Ballsacks.
My car hit 100k miles.
That's all I got.
its 101 degrees, and my high school just called me that the administration will NO LONGER allow me to shoot my video there this week, i already spent $100 on the fucking costumes, god damn it.
I almost sharted myself just now. Going to the bathroom to make sure nothing came out. :yuck::yuck::yuck:
UPDATE: Close call, I pinched right at the brink of destruction. I blame ibuprofen for liquifying my stomach.
I have been having explosive shits for the past few days.
I dropped a 2.7 pound monster bomb the other day (I like to weigh myself before and after my shits) It was one of the most satisfying experiences I've ever had. Better than most of the sex I've had (but not all!)
Perhaps this should be in the "good day" thread.
Explosive shits are good times.
Had sushi from some new place last night and about 8 hours later, before bed, my stomach hurts like no other, i have to shit and I had a fever.
I wake up 4 hours later because I have an exam in a little while and had to study, and the shits are explosive and every 15 minutes, I still have a fever and my abdomen hurts like fuck.
This test should be exhillerating...trying to beat the clock before my next shit.
Fuck you, food poisoning.
Woman waddles up to me last night after our bakery department closed and complained there were no Halloween themed cakes in our case. Walk back in the cooler, manage to find one, brought it out, she takes it and waddles away pissy and grumbling.
Found it two hours later thrown behind dog food on the other side of the store.
Fatty must have had a change of heart or decided to snack on Snowcap lard instead. I truly fucking hate people who waste food instead of throwing it in a random cool case or back where it belongs.
*-neo
Josh I can't wait to see your penis.
PM sent.
I wait with eager anticpation.
Just shit on the teacher's desk if he won't excuse you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Biff, Jr.
I want pics of Josh's cloned penis up in Skull & Bones ASAP.
I can't fucking sleep.
soon. new cock slime is in the mail as we speak. ROUND TWOQuote:
Originally Posted by bbobb
My oral fixation is really getting to me today. I always need something in my mouth.
I can send you the poorly cast dildo I made. I don't know what else to do with it.
Although it is kind of awesome sitting on my counter next to my blender.
I hurt my left hand punching someone today. It didn't hurt while I was punching this person, but it hurts right now. It hurts more than their punches did.
I'd better smoke some more grass just in case it starts hurting even more. To the Bowlmobile!
Josh how much do you want for it? I'd like to have a uniqueQuote:
Originally Posted by Josh
piece of art. A conversation piece.
I have to leave for work by 6:20am at the latest. My neighbors apparently invited a bunch of people over last night around midnight and had them park in the driveway, because I'm now blocked in by a couple cars I've never seen before. They won't respond to their phones and it's now 6:55am.
On the bright side, they normally have to leave for work by 5:30am and I'm the one that moves all the cars to let them out (which also means I have to wake up early just to help them). Petty revenge next week ahoy.
Dane Cook.
i'm hungover.
Pussy.
One of my good friends growing up and through school was killed last night. She was divorcing her husband so he killed her and himself and burned the house down. Firefighters rescued their twin toddlers. Wtf at the world right now.
Wow :( that's fucking awful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hubbitron
Holy shit. Sorry to hear that Hubb. :( Did this happen in MD?
It happened like 10 minutes from where I live and 3 townhouses down from where the girl's mother lives.
a couple articles
http://www.fredericknewspost.com/sec...?StoryID=66849
http://www.wbaltv.com/news/14430757/detail.html
Sorry to hear that Hub. At the very least, the kids are alive.
Dude this is some ill shit. Condolences.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hubbitron
Fuck dude. I'm sorry.
What a piece of trash. You really have no idea how low and pathetic some people are. To think that someone not only needs to be respected by someone else to such a ridiculous degree but DEMANDS it is absolutely pathetic. I don't think I'll ever understand it. I consider the fact that I don't a good thing for my own mental well-being.
I'm glad the toddlers are okay. Hopefully the grandparents will raise them.
That guy is probably one of those assholes who insults his woman because he was insecure. She finally figured it out and he shoots her, what a piece of fucking shit.
My VP's wife is having complications with her pregnancy, and she's an awesome lady don't get me wrong, but now I have to wrong the entire territory while he's out (which is what I would do to) so that means I have to be available for meetings in 11 states for the next two weeks. Frequent flyer miles, hooooo. :td: