Our goal is every other wed for the year. More if possible.
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Our goal is every other wed for the year. More if possible.
Congrats Opaque good job at pirating her :D
Whats her ratio, if you what I mean...
You talking about dicks all up in her steez?
You ever go to the grand canyon and shout? He gets to experience that without leaving the house.
The Pussy Whisperer.
You put your ear up to her vagina, you can hear every ocean. In high school her nickname was The Marianas Wench.
It's the fog horn that goes off every fifteen minutes after 2am that really cracks me up about her.
Her pussy is so wide if you put your ear against it you can hear the faint cries of help coming from Geppetto.
Her pussy is so cavernous and full of alien life form it's where James Cameron got the inspiration for The Abyss.
The other day Opaque went up to his girlfriend and said: "You know... I'd like a little pussy"
She said: "Me too, mine's as big as a house"
Her pussy is so big Jack Sparrow went searching for the Black Pearl in there.
Her cervix is sometimes referred to as "Tortuga".
She rents her vagina out as location sets for films like The Cave and The Descent.
Saves on creature FX, too.
127 hours started out as gynecological exam.
The stars of The Mist hid in her vagina from the monsters outside.
The forest from The Village was modeled after her bush.
They named the 30 Rock episode Into the Crevasse after her vagina.
I'd say too many for you guys to make jokes about.Quote:
Originally Posted by Chux
She used to date George Lucas. A particularly cold camping trip inspired the tauntaun scene.
Jonathan Burroughs was a past beau as well.
I can't find the cooking thread, but I made this thing with cabbage and onions and apples and vinegar and it kicks ass.
Were the ingredients inspired from the smell of Opaque's wife's cooch?
And I heard when Opaque was caught cheating then said he just wanted some new pussy. She said 'you could have some new pussy here if you grew two inches."
Thank you for getting back on topic, sir.Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Holliday
Also, SSJN gets a warning for the joke that nearly killed the thread.
Based on what you, ramon, and mech posted I thought that that was what you wanted.
The rift in conversation your joke made was almost as big as her vagina.
The star wars or house of the dead overkill one?
I wrote a letter to my mayor and every member of city council about the city's transit policy.
Shit, they're using trains there to transvaginal ultrasound Opaque's wive's vagina too?
This thread has got interesting.
Which township in her vagina did this thread get it?Quote:
Originally Posted by Opaque
The Epcot center is too big for your wife's loose pussy joke account.Quote:
Originally Posted by Opaque
Quote:
Originally Posted by Korian
Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait.
I can't believe I missed this.
This is the gayest shit I've ever heard in my life. Seriously.Quote:
Originally Posted by Opaque
...unless he also had a "No" shirt printed up.
Opaque's wife is just a bitch
ReallyQuote:
Originally Posted by Korian
This page was perhaps the best in TNL Joke History. See Opaque, your proposal has already changed the world for the better.
Fuck you you cunt mothfucker Opaque joke account.
Game overQuote:
Originally Posted by Korian
I hope so.Quote:
Originally Posted by Korian
http://i.imgur.com/ys8II.pngQuote:
Originally Posted by Josh
I just ordered business cards that read:
Aaron Manter
The Owl
Chef / Bad-Ass MC
On the back it says: Kill Things and Eat Them
I get to decide what being an adult means.
Your definition pleases me.
Was taking the garbage out when I saw this on the side of the building.
Click for full size
I've never seen anything like it.
Somebody got chocolate in their peanut butter.
I guess it didn't stick.
I thought you have a 3DS?Quote:
Originally Posted by Some Stupid Japanese Name
That texture is closer to jaguar.
Jaguar never sticked.
Played music with a bunch of anarchists last night, it was pretty great! There's gonna be a regular practice leading up to St. Patty's day, need to work on my Liver Fortitude (and also my banjo playing).
Should've failed a test today, I botched some simple stuff but since I knew what I screwed up and kept catching myself before they could respond they passed me anyway. Some others in my class failed for similar reasons and had to redo. Feels good man.
Rebecca and I were going for a walk down to the water today, halfway there we saw this lady sitting on the ground. Her husband was there, waffling about and having no idea what to do. She fell, and ate shit pretty hard, had osteoporosis and cancer. They were over from Delaware to get her cancer checked out at Hopkins. Rebecca and I stood her up, then sat her down on some steps. The guy and I went a couple blocks down the way to get his car. The key wouldn't turn in the ignition. I ran the 5 blocks back (apparently I can run now) to see how the lady was doing. I was able to talk her into letting me call an ambulance. Instead of an ambulance a big ass ladder truck showed up (the one with two drivers)
I've always wanted to ride in one of those... I told her "holy shit, you're riding in style" I am so jealous.
Once the fire dudes had things under control, Rebecca and I walked back home. The lady's husband was shit, and was bitching about his car not working the whole time. I wanted to kick his ass. His wife ate pavement, and was kinda incoherent, and he was worried about his fucking car.
Anyway. Good deed for the decade.
I've never had a professional massage before, although I've always wanted one. My friend Amanda is taking me tomorrow to a spa place and we're both getting an 80 minute massage, after which she's taking me out to dinner. I honestly cannot explain how excited I am about this. I've been really sore and tense for a while from silly shit I did to hurt my shoulder, so this should be awesome. That's happening at 2pm, which coincidentally is the time I would normally start work tomorrow, but I took a vacation day, so instead of calling people about their burglar alarms going off I'm going to get paid to be massaged.
I have also never had a professional massage, but I bought an hour-long session on LivingSocial for $30 yesterday, which I think is a pretty damn good deal.
Be prepared to have an awkward erection.
I think that most people don't really like their spouse.Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
Ask for Helga, she's the one with the moustache. Problem solved.Quote:
Originally Posted by icarusfall
...or is it?
It's pineapple. You know the answer.
I'm okay with that. They're professionals, after all.Quote:
Originally Posted by icarusfall
This is a good deal! The girls here charge about $20 for 3 mins.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tones
After a whole year of not exercising much at all, I began running again last month. I just finished my eighth week. Feels good.
What are you running? I need to get back into it. I've been off for like 6+ weeks.
I began my first week at 10 miles, and have been increasing my running total by one mile each week. This week I ran 17 miles over four days; 4 on Monday and Wednesday, and 3 on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Once I hit 20 miles, I'll increase by two miles each week.
I broke down and bought an iPod Nano a few weeks ago; I have been running without music for a while. Listening to podcasts of various NPR shows makes the runs much more entertaining! I get some strange looks when I start laughing out of the blue.
Don't just laugh, laugh manically. Then see what they do.
As someone who likes to run late at night, I really don't need any more ammo against me. Just a few nights ago, I was running on a sidewalk. A girl was preoccupied and walked right in front of me from between a few parked cars. She gave the rape scream; if she had a knife in her hand, it would have probably been in my stomach.
Cigar bar this evening. $3 dollar showing of the new Sherlock Holmes film. Lots of beer. Gosh, I am happy I've done some homework early. :D
Oh, and someone gave me a hotass pair of jeans a few months ago, but they were too tight. I tried them on last night, and they fit perfectly. Bam.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tones
Also also: I danced for 6 hours this weekend. I've had worse days for sure.
A few Summers ago I was running around 7 miles (in one exercise) on a nearly daily basis. Maybe you've got a better body than me, but I'd advise against this type of distance running on the street if you're doing it a lot. I tore the lateral meniscus in my left knee just from wear and tear and I suspect I also have a small tear in my right knee. I hate running on treadmills so I can understand that but perhaps you may want to find a track, otherwise your feet, ankles and knees are really going to pay.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tones
Each terrain has its downfalls. Street running is apparently most common in the US, and as a result, we have a lot more knee problems. In other parts of the world, people prefer running on trails, but that leads to a lot more ankle injuries. I try to keep my weight down to keep my legs and feet happy; I've kept between 135 and 145 for the last few years. My current weekly mileage increase program was actually recommended by a doctor a few years ago. I keep my weekly increases pretty low so that all of the supporting tendons and whatever can build up along with the muscle tissue. I should probably run on a different surface, but I dislike running on a track and in a gym to the point that I just won't bother. I would rather have bad knees than diabetes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gohron
I also run different mileages every day. I take every Sunday off as a rest day, and I cycle easy and hard days.
I locked down my FB page, and removed all friends. feels good, man.
Gonna wait to see what happens with timeline, privacy, and the right to be forgotten before I decide what to do with that account.
Basically, don't take it personally that I deleted your ass. I deleted everyone.
Note: I had to delete Ramon three times before it would stick.
What about google+?
What about it?
Are you still on it? I never was.
Yeah, it's locked down pretty tight, and I've locked down my google history too.
btw... if you've not done that yet take that ass to www.google.com/history and do it.
I'm like a clingy girlfriend.
ITT: We fear our past.
I don't know how that's going to work. I don't check in anywhere. All of my status updates are retarded. I barely take photos. So what exactly will it do for me besides make me hate logging onto Facebook?
Nothing.
Your latest stint into paranoia makes me believe you're on drugs again.
Timeline is kind of fucked up. Look at any of your friends with it, go back to like 2007 or earlier and you can see all sorts of shit I'm sure they don't know is public.
I see all of the stuff I remember seeing in 2007. No care ever.
Yup, don't care.
Jerk Church choir practice went really well last night, much drinking and Johnny Cash, sitting around a burn barrel. Operated the grill, fed the needy.
Nope.Quote:
Originally Posted by Razor Ramon
aaaaaaaaand I'm not even paranoid. I've been wanting to do this for a while now. Timeline is just a convenient excuse. I much prefer Twitter anyway.
The issue I have with Twitter is everyone thinking they're hilarious or tweeting me about their alcohol problems.
I like the set of people I'm following on Twitter, it's nice. Not a lot of bullshit gets in.
Except for Advocate. <3
Then unfollow me.Quote:
Originally Posted by YellerDog
Why?
Drunkpasta?
note... I still follow Advocate
All I do on Twitter is internet activism and shit talking.
yeah ... can't mix Jack Daniels Honey Whiskey w/coffee so early in the morning/noon/afternoon/evening.
jesus christ I think I'm an alcoholic ...
You probably aren't. Alcoholism is a lot more than getting drunk on Friday night.
Shut up.
You shut up, bitch. I'm right.
Anyone who's not an alcoholic should thank their lucky stars. It's so awful.
And if you think you're an alcoholic, start getting help immediately before it ruins your life.
I thrive.
Give it time. A drunk in his 20's is a "party guy" a drunk in his 30s is just sad.