Marriage/Serious Relationships

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Originally Posted by haohmaru

The girl that I married was great for the first 3 years that I knew her. But then the MARRIAGE MONSTER got a hold of her and started convincing her that sex was a weapon to be weilded if she didn't get her way, regardless if her way was complete idiocy. It go to the point where being intimate was a bi-annual event for quite a few years because her position deteriorated to the point where it was looked at as a "wifely duty" and "work" rather than something to be enjoyed. I know many, many couples and almost always the guys end up saying that sex with any regularity exits the marriage after "x" years.

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I think a lot of the time after a guy has been in a relationship for awhile he starts taking the sex for granted. No foreplay, no oral, just jam it on in and pump away for five minutes then roll over and go to sleep.

I've been in two relationships that have lasted over two years and I have to admit the longer it lasted the harder I had to try to keep the sex interesting. Men do tend to get bored with the same partner after awhile (obviously this speaks to the "don't ever get married" side of the argument) and I don't think it's always fair to blame the woman for lack of sex in a marriage/long term relationship.

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Originally Posted by torgo

Yeah but statistics show people who live together first are far more likely to get divorced.

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People who don't live together before they're married tend to be more religious than people who do and are more willing to persevere through a marriage even when it is obvious to both parties that it needs to end because they're afraid of going to hell/what people in church will say.

correlation != causation

Yeah marriage has so many hidden factor's behind it that any stats run on it generally take advantage of some of those hidden factor's.

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Originally Posted by Ozzie

This line in Knocked Up cracked me up: "Marriage is like an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, except it isn't funny."

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Thus making it exactly like an episode of Everbody Loves Raymond.

Marriage is 'Til Death. Go watch that show.

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Originally Posted by shidoshi

Thus making it exactly like an episode of Everbody Loves Raymond.

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I thought the mom was hilarious. She is exactly like my mom, and that's why I live 4 states away from her instead of next door.

bwa hahaha ha hahaha

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Originally Posted by Saint of Killers

I think a lot of the time after a guy has been in a relationship for awhile he starts taking the sex for granted. No foreplay, no oral, just jam it on in and pump away for five minutes then roll over and go to sleep.

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There are certainly lazy assholes like that out there but I think the issue is more that women get off on mental stuff rather than physical stuff. Once the novelty wears off sex loses it's edge for the woman, wheras for a guy the edge is always a given as long as there's a vagina in the room. You have to spice things up to keep them interesting but I think eventually most women just sort of lose interest, notice that their man still wants it, and start to see sex as something to be bartered.

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Originally Posted by Saint of Killers

I think a lot of the time after a guy has been in a relationship for awhile he starts taking the sex for granted. No foreplay, no oral, just jam it on in and pump away for five minutes then roll over and go to sleep.

I've been in two relationships that have lasted over two years and I have to admit the longer it lasted the harder I had to try to keep the sex interesting. Men do tend to get bored with the same partner after awhile (obviously this speaks to the "don't ever get married" side of the argument) and I don't think it's always fair to blame the woman for lack of sex in a marriage/long term relationship.

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I'll agree with that to an extent, but the shit Haoh was talking about happens.

You also have to consider other changes. I swear to god, after my wife had our son, her fuckind sex drive dropped to ZERO. She no longer had any inclination to have sex. Ever. That, combined with her just totally changing led to the end of my marrige. I tried to make it work for 3 long years, for my son's sake, but she had no intention of even meeting me half way. She just pushed me away until I couldn't take it. Once I had had enough, & told her as much, the first words out of her mouth were about getting a lawyer. No talk of therapy or trying to make it work, she wanted out, she was just too cowardly to do it herself.

That said, I will never get married again. Just going by the evidence I've observed in my own life so far, relationships end, no matter how hard you try, all it takes is weakness in the other person. Why on earth would I enter a contract that takes half my shit when a relationship ends? Marriage is an instution made by the Church & the State. I have no respect for either. I can't see a good reason to do it, ever.

Hmm, do I sound jaded?

JM

Luckily not having kids was part of The Agreement. My wife knows if she ever got pregnant I'd make damn sure that kid wasn't carried to term.

That's the other thing, once a woman gives birth there's a switch in her brain that gets flipped to "batshit insane".