Weirdest moments with the opposite sex

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Originally Posted by Dolemite

This one time I went from dating a girl that was really, really hard to make orgasm (we had to do it in a certain position at a certain angle for a certain amount of time for her to get off- it got tedious after a while and I'd just try to blow my wad prematurely on purpose) to a girl who would cum practically the second I stuck my dick in her. That was pretty awesome.

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this happened to me as well. first long term gf was like a fucking desert in her pussy. it was always "hurry up it hurts" blah blah. the next one i dated had to have gone to porn star school or something. first time we fucked i found out she had a vag like old faithful. put my hand down there and was freaked the fuck out cause she had this shag carpet thong on, so naturally i think it's a big hairy bush at first. luckily she was actually shaved. pulled those fuckers off, threw them againt the wall and they sounded like wet ham smacking the wall they were soaked so much.

then in the middle of a change up and i go to the back she says (without missing a beat) "do you want my head up or down in the pillow"? i still miss that one. :tu:

weirdest moment had to be the first time i experienced the pussy fart. going to town on the zombie like first gf, pull it out and hear this undeniably awesome "PPPPPPFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLLLLLBBBBT!" i couldn't help but laugh and every time she'd yell it farted again. good times.

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Originally Posted by Dyne

weirdest moment had to be the first time i experienced the pussy fart. going to town on the zombie like first gf, pull it out and hear this undeniably awesome "PPPPPPFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLLLLLBBBBT!" i couldn't help but laugh and every time she'd yell it farted again. good times.

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:lol::lol:. Queef imo. Guaranteed mood killer when that shit happens - you can't help but laugh.

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Originally Posted by portnoyd

I wish I could share my one story but my wife would definitely yank my balls off if I told it. Just have to be content to read and not contribute. :\

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Post it here, post it in FC, or don't tell us you have stories you can't tell. That's just teasing.

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Originally Posted by Kano on the Phone

I bet they felt like bags of sand, too.

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Pretty much.

Remembered another slightly awkward story after Type Ryan's post: Back when I was still living with my mom I was in the middle of sex when my mother decided to knock on the door and tell me she was leaving instead of just going out like she normally did. I know she knew what I was doing, and she proceeded to try and have an entire conversation with me about where she was going and how long she'd be gone and blah blah blah. I was trying to continue the sex while being quiet about it but her talking and carrying on made it really uncomfortable until she finally left.

Also, back in high school I once made a girl give me a handjob while I played Tekken. I gave her the incredibly lame excuse of how I needed to have a game on so that just in case my grandparents decided to come into the room it would look like we were doing something else, despite the fact that there was no way in hell I could've gotten my pants back on in time. I miss high school just for getting away with retarded shit.

I got head while posting here once. GUESS WHO FROM?!????

Razor.

don't do drugs.

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Originally Posted by icarusfall

I got head while posting here once. GUESS WHO FROM?!????

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Quote the post, pls. I want to pleasure myself to it.

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Originally Posted by MechDeus

Post it here, post it in FC, or don't tell us you have stories you can't tell. That's just teasing.

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Originally Posted by Doc Holliday

Don't Bait Jetman.

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EDIT: Fucking Danes

I don't have anything nearly as interesting as any of this other stuff, but a girl I had back in college always wanted me to watch her masturbate. She would also just randomly, even in the middle of a conversation, pat me on the shoulder and say, "Well, alright, soldier." She also talked about her older brother WAY too much. When I broke up with her, she came by my dorm every day for a month in an attempt try to convince me to get back together with her. I had to invent all kinds of ways to get out of there before she came by. Then, I found out that when she gave up on trying to convince me she talked a friend of mine into watching her masturbate, supposedly to make me jealous or something. It didn't work.

EDIT: Oh yeah, same girl gave me a handjob at a theater while watching Saving Private Ryan. Caught my stuff in her hand and then wiped it on her pants.

Unfortunately, nothing too depraved here.

With one of my first steady girlfriends, who I think was new to the whole boyfriend thing, I ended up making out with her in the front seat of her car. This goes on for a bit, and then she suddenly stops, looks startled, and says we need to go (where? back to her mom's house apparently).

I find out later she thought she had peed herself and needed to change; panties were pretty much soaked.