Weirdest moments with the opposite sex

I've never fucked a chick in an unusual place :(

On second thought, one night my girlfriend was working (we both work at the same place, but never at the same time) and I went to go see her. We both work in a retirement home, she's a nursing assistant two days a week and I work in the kitchen full-time. One night we went into an empty residents room (no furniture) and had sex in the bathroom after I got off my shift. The toilet flusher left a huge fucking bruise on my back.

I read this sentence

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Originally Posted by Biff III

We both work in a retirement home

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and thought the story would get way better than it did.

Haha, sorry I let you down bro.

Why isn't this in some other forum...
My friends are too internet savvy

station, I'll swap memories with you. You can get the awkward handjob during Saving Private Ryan, I'll bang that girl in the closet and love it.

EDIT: MK, whatever, post it here, it's the internets you can just say it isn't you.

EDIT 2: Nevermind, station. You've inspired my girl and I to invite people over to my place, then sneak away to fool around in my closet.

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Originally Posted by icarusfall

Whelping is an entirely different kettle of fish.

It'd have been way more fucked if she was doing that.

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Haha, yeah. I meant yelping.

Werewolf imo btw.

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Originally Posted by Calliander

awkward handjob during Saving Private Ryan

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I came during the exact line of "durka durka, mohammed jihad" while getting a blowjob during Team America with my parents about 10 feet from my room's door.

I also lost my virginity in the dugout of the little league baseball field I played at when I was like 10. That was pretty sweet.

I entirely wish I had cooler stories.

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Originally Posted by MechDeus

I lived in a walk-in closest years ago and slept and had sex on a flip-n-fuck unfolded on top of a cot. According to my roommates it sounded like someone running up and down stairs. Regardless of how funny I found that at the time, I was damned happy when I was finally able to get a real room.

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You lived in a walk-in closet and a girl actually had sex with you? in it? Bravo - you must have some game.

I went to see X-Files the movie the first weekend it was out, during the day on a Saturday, the theater was half full, and I had a couple two rows behind me who were fucking. I mean really going at, smack the ass, fucking. I couldnt believe it. Everyone else in the theater seemed like they either didnt hear it or were trying to not pay attention to it.
I was torn by how awesome it was that someone was actually pulling it off in that manner, and how pissed off I was that I couldnt focus on the movie. So I just did nothing. I should have just turned around and watched because the movie sucked anyway.

The most Ive had and done though is get jerked off and finger fucked a chick at the movies. Almost, got head during Hills Have Eyes on a weekday night but the girl chickened out.

Oddly enough, the theater near me will have nights where the theater is empty near the last week or so of a film's showing. My girl and I are also planning on going to see some shitball flick at that theater and hoping we go on an empty night.

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Originally Posted by Jetman

The most Ive had and done though is get jerked off and finger fucked a chick at the movies. Almost, got head during Hills Have Eyes on a weekday night but the girl chickened out.

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I fingered my first girlfriend in a crowded theater during Austin Powers: Goldmember. haha, I did a lot of shit with that g/f in public.