Posts 13 to 18 make this thread.
also: waiting for MK
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Posts 13 to 18 make this thread.
also: waiting for MK
When they're ugly and have an STD. Good chance of being robbed too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Razor Ramon
When I was 15, I had a girlfriend that I only saw on the weekends because I we lived in different cities. One saturday, I had a baseball game I was playing, and my girlfriend came to watch it. So after the game, my mom was driving her home and we sat in the second row of seats in my mom's minivan (the ones right behind the captains seats). Now being the horny 15 year olds that we were, we start making out while my mom has the radio on. Eventually I start to finger her, she has her hand down my pants (which was extremely uncomfortable because I still had my cup on). Eventually I end up taking my pants halfway off (her as well), and we do this awkward penis in vag maneuver which equated to me having sex with her sorta, with my mom literally 2 and a half feet away. At the time it seemed like we were being sneaky, and that there was no way in hell should knew what we were doing. But in retrospect, it was probably impossible for her not to know, so I give mad props to my mom for not stopping us. <3 mom.
Criticom wins. Fucking in front of mom.
Holy shit.
Backseat 15 year old makeout fingerbang while parents drove girlfriend home confirmed.
Never took my dick out though... Crit wins.
Naturally.Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
it is actually kind of depressing that I may never live up the the greatness that icarus just bestowed upon this lowly board
Damn. That sure as hell beats my story. In front of the mom?Quote:
Originally Posted by Criticom
*High Five*
http://img.timeinc.net/time/daily/20...ebanon0109.jpg
This story isn't as great as it could have been, but it's all I got to share.
A few years ago some friends from work and I went out to club after work. A female coworker introduced us to her cousin. I had a mad crush on the coworker, but as the night went on, the cousin approached me and said, "I noticed you've been looking at me all night." She was wrong (i was eye fucking my coworker), but she wasn't a bad looking girl and I was pretty lit, so I just played it off. Many drinks later she asks me if I want to go back to the house with her. I said sure, so I drive her to where she said to go, and I realize we are actually going to my coworkers house. Coworker pulls in behind us, and they talk to each other for a minute. I'm invited in and the cousin and I go out on the enclosed front porch and proceed to fuck like crazy.
Wake up the next morning to find a mildly perturbed coworker sitting on the couch in the living room.
Turns out that she literally just met the cousin that night (wasn't a real cousin. Was the daughter of the guy that the coworkers mom was dating), didn't really know her that well, and was pissed that I brought the chick back to her house and defiled her porch with her. I told her it was the cousin who brought ME there, and if she had a problem with it, last night was the time to point it out.
I hightailed it out of there, pissed that if I ever had a chance in hell with the coworker I blew it (yes, that should have crossed my mind earlier, but I was drunk and horny).
To top it off the cousin proceeded to call me every other hour that weekend asking me to take her places or to borrow money.
I don't doubt that every word of this essay is a lie. JC has never had sex, his gf at the time immaculately concieved and produced several demon spawn who bring his game down. Also, he told me last night while spooning that he only has eyes for cock.Quote:
Originally Posted by Some Stupid Japanese Name
I have many, MANY awkward situations with the womens.
One of my favorites was the time I was rolling on E and had gone home with my then gf. At that time, she was housesitting for one of her more affeminete (sp?) male friends, and we decided to spend the night there. Granted, I had already been initiated in the sexual experiences at this point, but the girl I was dating *for the second time* had always had a strange power over me that completely debilitated me from doing anything manly. Lo and behold, after a night at her friend's club, we go back and get in bed together. I laid there wanting to fuck her brains out and yet, in my current mental state and knowing she had a few years experience on me, I laid there in the darkness waiting for something to happen and taking no action. I literally lay next to her, naked, for 3 hours... and NOTHING at all. She told me at one point that she could read what I was thinking, and I couldn't even bring myself to man up at that point. After 3 hours of laying next to her in a dark room (which is extended 10fold when you're rolling), I finally ended up going down on her, and not to my surprise, there was nothing. We then proceeded to pass out on opposite sides of the bed and wake up the next morning looking at each other like we had both done a different whore while in the same bed. Needless to say, THAT relationship didn't work out.
In retrospect it sucks, but still isn't the weirdest moment I've had with the ladies.
Christians suck.