Biff's court report

Well, I'm gonna fill TNL in on how one combats identity fraud, but yesterday was just a pre-trial hearing to discuss preliminary evidence so it lasted about 15 minutes. He has a court appointed idiot lawyer who already wants to talk about a plea deal. This is good for me because as soon as he does I can hammer him in civil court.

I am going to be there for every day of this motherfucker's trial and I am going to hammer this bastard.


However, the best part of the day was when some guy getting a DUI pulled this off:

Judge "How do you plea?"

DUI Man "Uh, I'm not sure, uh Not Guilty I think?"

Judge "What do you mean you think? Do you want time to hire a lawyer to defend your case or not, do you understand your rights, do you know how to spell rights?"

DUI Man "Yes, R-I-T-E-S, you honor I'm not stupid"

Judge (laughs) "No I can see you are a man of the world"

DUI Man "Thanks your honor, I do deserve my respect"

Judge "For sure......now what do you want to plea?"

DUI man "Not guilty, but I want to tell you something"

Judge "And what is this sir?"

DUI Man "I only blew a .095, I was below the legal limit of .10"

Judge "Yes, if this was 1997, you'd be correct, but this is 2007 and you're legally drunk"

Dui Man "That's fucking bullshit"

He ended up going to jail for that tidbit, you had to be there.

You always see lots of fun weirdos in court.

Truth, I could go for days just to watch these guys.

That's priceless, if only because I saw something similar one of my times in court.
lol, rites.

I have two court dates coming up in the next month. I'll let you guys know if anything exciting happens.

Make sure you laugh at the felons they cart in, that always pleases them.

I am the felon they're carting in.

HA HA

Laugh at yourself than. Maybe that was implied.

This is for Josh, from UD

1. Any crude, sharp weapon created from otherwise non-imposing objects. Screwdrivers, socket wrenches and hammers are not considered "shanks" because (a) they are not homemade, (b) they are not "crude," improvised weapons, (c) tools are inherently dangerous to begin with, and (d) none of them, with the exception of the screwdriver, are sharp objects. Shanks are created by the desperate for the purpose of stabbing, not bludgeoning.

A true shank would be something like:
- A broken piece of glass with a wrapped towel for a handle.
- A broken piece of plexiglass. Prison lunch trays are made of plexiglass, so shattering one might yield a suitable shank.
- A sharpened piece of wood, usually whittled into a stake rather than a shank, but as it is used for stabbing it is considered a shank nonetheless.
- A sharpened piece of scrap metal. Can be pilfered from just about anywhere.

1. "See this carrot? This carrot's raw. I'm gonna shank you, whiteboy."

1. A homemade knife, sometimes very crudely made from ordinary objects (sharpened end of a toothbrush), fashioned from various materials i.e. steel, glass, plastics, woods, etc. It can be made into multiple sizes and styles such as a serated or smooth blade. Found and used in prisons.

An object made from any available object inside a prison or detention center which is used to "shank" or stab someone.

This should get you through my man.