Stroke

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Originally Posted by Pineapple

Buy me a car, pls.

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1988 Dodge Reliant shipping today.

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Originally Posted by Bailey

working with someone to get a gift for someone else, but it's a secret.

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That shits been stalemated for the good part of a week now. Pony up, nigga.

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Originally Posted by Master of 7s

Back when I was about 16 there was a place in my neighborhood park that everyone called "The Mystery Spot" (I still have no fucking clue why). It was essentially a mini-jungle in the middle of a city. This place was close to an elementary school so it was frequented by kids pretty often.

Well for whatever reason I decide I wanna beat one real quick out in the open. I make my way there and find what I thought was a secluded spot where I can do my business. Five minutes later, I shoot my load against a tree and hear a high-pitched "Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!" coming from about two feet away and below me.

My eyes pop open in a startled panic and I look down to see a 7 year old girl with a "Dude, WTF?" expression staring up at me. I froze for about 5 seconds with my heart beating like a jack-hammer and was overwhelmed with the worst sense of guilt and absolute dread like you can't even imagine.

I noticed her attention shift to my still-hard junk and quickly shoved it back into my pants (without a chance to shake it clean either). Out of the blue she asks me "Why is it so big?"

I think I said something like "Jell-O" and bolted the fuck out of there.

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This story wins. Fucking Jell-O.

Not quite spanking it, but... One time in college, my roommate was asleep and my girl was there. She was like, "I NEED TO BLOW YOU RIGHT NOW!" so I told her to keep it quiet. He's snoring away and shit. She brings me to climax. She always pulled away as soon as I was finishing, so I guess that time I hit her in the eye and she was like, "Oh, shit, my eyes!" My roommate woke up at the exact moment she said that and was flinging the sheets back and he got all angry, left the dorm room. He was mumbling, "Motherfucker, you could have asked me to leave..."

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Originally Posted by Bailey

1988 Dodge Reliant shipping today.

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I need one as well.

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Originally Posted by Advocate

I got caught once jacking it in my bed. My mom walked in as I was climaxing.

Not cool.

She didn't knock.

And I have jacked it like 3 times in a row. I also have done it as much as Timber 11 times in one day. Start at 8am and end at 8pm ... Once an hour.

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The most shocking thing in this whole story is that Asians actually masturbate.

Un-surprisingly ... Andrew is STILL not funny.

Don't be such a emotional train wreck. I wasn't making a joke. I've never heard of an asian guy masturbating before.

You're kidding.

I swear to god I hope you're kidding.

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Originally Posted by Bailey

Man, I miss that shack :(

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'Garden of Eden'.

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Originally Posted by Rated E

Church

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Neat. I once did my gf in a church, not while a service was on though.