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This sucks so hard it goes in two threads.
I ate some mixed nuts where the almonds featured bugs. Bugs that burrowed into the almonds and made their little faggot bug homes. There were cocoons, and not the kind that star Wilford Brimley. I threw up for an hour, burst most every single blood vessel in my face and one or two in my eyes and did 5 straight shots of ouzo to "kill the germs"
I am ready to go to war.
I ordered a drink on the 24th last month and there was a large fly between the ice. I realized it after I had taken several sips.
I washed it down with a different glass of the same liquor.
Kill it with alcohol, no need to vomit.
Or just stop eating nuts. ;)
Your mom eats nuts.
Will TNL still swing from your nuts now that they're revealed to be cocoon infested?
Left ankle is killing me. Was finally doing better, but I think I tweaked it a little trying to get everything done the past week for Halloween.
Shit. This was supposed to be in the Life is Good thread.
But now you can tell people for the rest of your life and it will become more amazing every time you tell it!Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
The only people I am telling about it is the Kraft Foods Company.
Was it a bag of mix nuts from a sealed bag or was it one of those bag-it-yourself deals with the plastic scoops and bins of nuts? It might be your grocery store. Take it back and get some free shit if so.
My girlfriend.
If we're watching a movie and I'm not talking to her throughout the entire thing, she gets upset.
If she's watching whatever terrible TV show it is that she wants to see and I'm not paying attention to it, she gets upset.
If I'm playing a game during the pre-arranged time we have set aside for me to play games, she gets upset.
If I'm at work and doing work and thus can't talk with her on the phone or AIM, she gets upset.
If she's factually wrong about something and I point it out, she gets upset.
She doesn't live at my house and whenever I state I need some time to myself at home, she gets upset.
Any time there is any indication I have something I'd like to do that isn't paying direct attention to her, she gets upset.
Last night she blew up at me and I'm kinda at the point where I just don't care anymore. I don't really want to break up with her but she seems to be trying her hardest to convince me that I should. I don't want to listen to her bitching anymore, I want to be able to do shit I enjoy without having someone trying to guilt trip me about it, I want to be able to watch a movie that I want to watch, I don't want to be forced to endure Bravo's shitty lineup of reality shows aimed solely at women and gay men, and I want some fucking breathing room.
Ugh sorry to hear that Mech you guys seemed great together when we went out but that kinda shit I guess just happens in private :(.
It was a factory sealed tin of nuts from Kraft. It was one day past its sell by date, but this shouldn't cause bugs to spring forth from the nuts.Quote:
Originally Posted by Drewbacca
Dump her and find one that doesn't suck.Quote:
Originally Posted by MechDeus
None of that is ever going to change for the better. It will, however, get worse.Quote:
Originally Posted by MechDeus
See Josh's advice.
Yeah, already talked with her and she's taking all her stuff out of my place. Going to have another talk later on how she still refuses to recognize personal space (maybe in a couple days) and depending on how that goes it may be over.
Also: Shitty day at work! And when I go home I have to do work on the new place I'm moving into! This day is full of fun and excitement! Is it Deathmas yet?
I'll give you your T.O.W. Missile early this year.
I'm going to stab some one at MS for their bullshit Gamertag recovery. MS's support is some of the worst I've ever dealt with. "We can't do anything because our account computer is down." You have to be shitting me MS, seriously, fucking seriously.
Pulled a muscle in my back or something, it kills if I move at all and I'm stuck at work.
That's what the date's for, man!Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
This may be bugging you, but it's far from bad news. It's actually really really good news. Because being with a control freak with trust and/or attention issues will always be unnecessary shit in your life. Flush it down.Quote:
Originally Posted by MechDeus
Actually, sucking would be a good thing. Dump her and find one that's not a self-centered brat.Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
Is your girlfriend Asian?Quote:
Originally Posted by MechDeus
Kek, you get rep if he answer yes, cause I wanted to ask the same.
What Mech wrote gives me the chills, cause I seems to recall going to something identical a few years ago with my ex who was asian.
Nah, she's just female.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nash
Bugs. Bugs were in the fucking almonds. The container was sealed. You're wrong.Quote:
Originally Posted by Drewbacca
Once she finally realized I was actually serious about kicking her out she broke down and went into full apology mode. We'll see how the next couple weeks go, maybe she'll finally listen to me and start hanging out with her friends more often instead of just trying to be with me constantly. Girl needs some damn hobbies to both give me time and space and help her be a better overall person.This. She's very white.Quote:
Originally Posted by bbobb
The next coupld weeks will be ok, then it'll go back to how it was before. You can't change people.
This girl is broken. Trade her in for a working model.
This used to be like my girlfriend for awhile. Then very suddenly and quickly (possibly after I threatened to leave her and insisted that I refused to live by anybody else's rule) she stopped and now she's fucking awesome. She still falls asleep during movies though and tells me to get a second job...Quote:
Originally Posted by MechDeus
Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
A certain amount of bugs within a certain amount of product shipped is acceptable by food processing standards and the laws that regulate it. I bet you didn't know that and probably didn't want to.
I bet I did know that, I bet it has to do with bug particles ground up on the base ingredients, and I bet having hollowed out almonds containing cocooned bug larvae is not acceptable practice so shut up.
She's young, I took her virginity, she lived out in buttfuck nowhere all her life, and she's still not used to having to deal with people that already know and experienced most of the things she's still in the middle of learning. She just needs more training and I think a lot is going to depend on whether or not she finally starts enjoying the company of other people more often.Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
Granted, I do think a breakup or two would also do her a world of good in growing up.I wouldn't care if she falls asleep during movies but if I say I want to watch a film it's because I want to fucking watch the film, not listen to someone discuss how some fat kid got angry at the teacher in class earlier that day.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gohron
No, it has to do with live bugs and infestation. I see shit infested with bugs ALL the time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
Link pls.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
I don't even know where I could begin to look for that on the internet. I forget where I originally saw it, but it has been confirmed by several of the Chef's I've worked under.
It bothers me that I have to take off work early so I can pack (easy for myself, but got to prepare everything for my baby daughter and 2 dogs) and drive back to Boston late tonight just for my fucking stupid father-in-law's 60th birthday. I will probably get into a verbal argument with his bitchy princess wife. Then have to drive back Sunday morning to avoid the shitty CT/NY traffic. Weekend pwned by shitty old people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
While I didn't find anything directly related, I did find several law sites saying that no legal or civil action could be taken unless such bugs were proven to cause food poisoning.
With all the stuff we get shipped in (mostly wheat related stuff or produce) that is infested with bugs from major companies, there can't be any legal regulations not permitting this on the small scale or these companies would get killed.
maggotboob.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by Gohron
I'm betting if i call the company and bitch I can get some valuable coupons out of it.
For sure. If I complained to the Popsicle people that the actual popsicle didn't even come close to the beautiful illustration on the box and got free popsicles, bug infested nuts surely warrant something.
It's class registration day for me. What's that mean? Fuck yeah, I didn't get any of the 6 classes I needed! The advising department pulled some magic and found a way for me to graduate on time, but not anymore!
"Graduating on time" is a mythical creature. I wouldn't sweat it.
I graduated on time.Quote:
Originally Posted by YellerDog
No you didn't.
I kind of have to sweat it when my scholarship won't cover extra semesters and I have no way to pay otherwise. :\Quote:
Originally Posted by YellerDog
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem?
Schwarzenegger 2012
I can't teach my phone to swear.
duckhog? it can come up with duckhog but not fucking?Quote:
Originally Posted by my phone
stupid.
I get ducking, and fuching. I wish I had duckhog :(
Get the grocery store as well. Mixed nuts usually have pretty decent expiration times on them. I doubt they're stocking their shelves and keeping up with stock very well if that shit happens.Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
Unless you like your grocer.
Yeah, I really doubt that they've been through more than one case of "Nuttrition" in a year.
Its actually really good. I mean, minus the bugs.
Any bets on whether or not I'll be working here next week?Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh to a crybaby professor in front of an auditorium full of students
Didn't you do that before too?
Were they dry bugs or still wigglin'?
Pretty much. I tell these fuckers to get fucked on a regular basis and nothing happens.
The bugs were dead as shit. This is something that was packaged this way.
Student loans. It's American to go into debt to finish school.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nomi
I paid out of my pocket when I was going and that quickly drove me to drop the fuck out. Now that I have rent, bills and a car payment, I'm skeptical if I'll ever finish.
Now here's the kicker: were they salted?
Also, you may be on the verge of being labeled "that wacky A/V guy". You might have to kill a motherfucker.
no pics of the bugs?
Lightly? Fuck, I don't remember!Quote:
Originally Posted by YellerDog
I will do whatever is necessary.Quote:
Originally Posted by YellerDog
My only camera is an iphone. It won't work out well.Quote:
Originally Posted by stormy
mech dump her and look for drama free lovin.
Yes, I did. And your mother paid for it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
Sounds like it'll be worth it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
As awesome as that'd be, I just don't like dick.Quote:
Originally Posted by MarsKitten
You should still stay away from young and emotionally unstable girls, though. Yes, you're never going to get a drama-free relationship, but there are plenty of girls out there who have their head on somewhat straight, and have enough self-confidence to understand the importance of together time and personal time. Life's too short to be unhappy with crazy bitches.Quote:
Originally Posted by MechDeus
Graduating on time is easy. You just go to class and pass.
Pull the other one, it's got bells on it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nash
Hey, if you want to stay in an unhappy relationship (from what you've told) or take steps to try to get it to work, that's fine. Just don't use the all-girls-are-equally-crazy excuse to stick around.Quote:
Originally Posted by MechDeus
I'm actually thinking of asking for more hours at my crazyshitty job. That is bothering me.
I'm starting to hear Christmas music. Retail hell is looming.
Well to start off I step in poop walking out of Borders in the middle of a shopping mall...why the fuck poop was there I don't know but it stank like shit so I put my shoe in the trunk of my car and drove with one shoe...
And just about 3 minutes ago I was driving in my neighborhood home and a car is coming from the other direction and stops and honks really quick. It dosent move but then i see an animal running away and I hear the death screams and moans of this dog and the girl owner is screaming in sadness and yelling "No!!!" and the owner gets out and walks forward with all these terrible noises going on, i drive as fast as i can by and walk into my house, it was terrible.:cry:
Why did you save the poop?
edit: his post originally did not mention any "shoe" in the trunk.
"why the fuck poop was there I don't know but it stank like shit so I put it in the trunk of my car and drove with one shoe..."
this made my dayQuote:
Originally Posted by cigsthecat
One of the two dogs, Belle, that my roommate had was hit by a car tonight and her right leg was broken and the bone punctured through her skin. We brought Belle to the veterinary hospital, got her on an IV drip and a temporary splint put on while the doctor assessed her. His prognosis was that he had to run a full physical scan (blood, urine panels, etc.) before he could do anything about her leg. He also told us that during his assessment, he found that the dog had a heart murmur, rating from 1 (least worrisome) to 6 (the worst), at a 4. He gave us the estimated bill, which did not include the cost of surgery or extended stay, totalling: $1,759. After calling her mother and father, the decision was made to euthanize Belle. The cost was tremendous, but taken into account was her age at 8 years old and the possibility of complications/necessary medication due to her heart murmur.
I'll miss the way her eyebrows twitch when you pat her head, the way she skritches the blanket on the couch to make a nest for herself before she goes to sleep, the way her ears perked up and how intently she would look at me when I talked to her, and the thing that I'll miss the most...the way she would just sit next to me, quietly waiting, as if being near me was comforting.
I understand that death is part of life, but it's moments like these that punctuate that you have to do the shit that you want to do, push away fears that are truly insignificant (going to a party alone, asking out a guy that you really like when you don't know if he likes you or not, or other similar crap): Life is way too short, but if you make or let it, it can be really sweet. I'm glad to have known her. Belle was a good dog.
R.I.P. Belle.
Andddd i just threw up. Fuck you life, fuck you biology. I've got 11 herbs and spices covering my nasal passage and it sucks worse than when it went down.
I feel for you immensely SP, so sorry to hear about that.
horrible SP, just horrible
Also sorry for your loss SP.
Thanks for the kind words. Just a real smack in the face with how quickly a life can get taken away and a re-education that dying is cheaper than living. I miss her and I'll always keep her gentle spirit in my heart. Here's a couple of pictures of Belle (and Lucky):
Dammit, I'm sorry SP. That sucks. :(
It was wet this morning. And my bike skidded out from under me this morning, landed on my butt pretty badly. But just sore and bruise. Bike is fine too, seems to have skidded entirely on the kick stand.
Hell of a way to start the morning, just glad I didn't skid into the intersection with my bike.
Is this the scooter?
Those fuckers are dangerous.
Well, what are you supposed to say when a woman tells you her biological clock is ticking when discussing your future as a couple? This is the conversation I had this weekend with the girl I'm dating (not in a relationship with). I'll let you guess what I thought of that statement ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Nash
Having a job and being able to work more hours is a good thing this day in age. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Pineapple
After 6 years of working retail, I still cringe during this time of year. *drum roll* And the #1 overplayed song in stores during the holiday season is..........Quote:
Originally Posted by Tones
I blame you, Sir Paul :curse:
Sorry to hear that SP. Lame. :(Quote:
Originally Posted by SapphirePhoenix
LOL. Welcome to your late 20's... fucker.Quote:
Originally Posted by Type Ryan
You should post pictures of it here for TNL medical opinions to make sure nothing is broken.Quote:
Originally Posted by MarsKitten
You're like Eugene from "Hey Arnold!".:chunobi:Quote:
Originally Posted by MarsKitten
I'm good with that description. I dunno I'm banking some pretty serious bad karma lately. The universe owes me and I want to make a withdrawl.Quote:
Originally Posted by nocturne
Someone busted my wife's windshield. With a bat. No prints, no witnesses. Just a nice, big hole. For no reason. Who even knows how much that's going to cost? Fuck that shit.
Did you call the cops?Quote:
Originally Posted by Grey's Anatomy
Well, naturally. That's how we determined there were no prints. There really wasn't much for them to do, though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Brisco Bold
I find it so hard to believe that you or your wife *cough*NARC*cough* could ever piss someone off so much they would bust out your windshield.Quote:
Originally Posted by Grey's Anatomy
Probably just random coincidence.
Naw, if we knew it was Grey's Anatomy's car, we'd bust it up, too.Quote:
Originally Posted by PaCrappa
OH MY FUCKING JESUS. SIIIIMPLY HAAAAVING A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS TIIME. Fuck Paul McCartney, fuck him in his fucking face. He's such a fucking douche and that song is such a fucking piece of shit. FUCK PAUL FUCK PAUL FUCK PAUL FUCK PAUL FUCK PAUL. HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?Quote:
Originally Posted by Type Ryan
Nosebleeds. Cold, dry weather treats me like shit. Third one today and the worst one. Getting the blood out of the sink was extra shitty. This one bled forever and ever and I could feel it running down my throat as I had my head tilted back. The only upside is afterwards you can clear your throat and spit out nasty globs of blood-mucus. I guess that's an upside.
My ex just got married.
That shit's always weird when you first hear about it. My ex that I had dated for over 5 years (on and off) is married now.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cowutopia
I heard it from a friend who noticed her name changed on facebook.
You're still with the girl you've been with for like a year now though right? Or is that who this is.
Yeah.
And I'm ok now because one of my other friends just told me that he just gave herpes to his girlfriend. Mouth-to-vagina.
I have Phil Collins stuck in my head. Not sure how it got there, I haven't listened to any music all day.
Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.
Quote:
I find it so hard to believe that you or your wife *cough*NARC*cough* could ever piss someone off so much they would bust out your windshield.
I don't remember calling the faggot parade.Quote:
Probably just random coincidence.