Pooping Buddy

Update: Took a whole 3 minutes to decimate the toilet, however, as a whole "poo experience" it was a bit disappointing as I did not feel that great afterwards, almost as if I didn't accomplish anything substantial from my trip.

The other day I did happen to make a smiley face poo after work, and was quite pleased with myself after phone camera picturing it.

I pooped the number 9 last week. It was huge. What a great day that was. I wish I had thought to capture the glory with my cell phone cam.

I shit so much its never anything cool. Just a giant pile of shit.

Shit happens.





this thread appeases my dry sense of humor

My would-be booze shits turned out to be nothing special. Thank god.

I am posting while take a shit. It's a fighter, too.

SHITPOST!

I've done the number 7 before. I've been having a lot of peekaboo shits lately. The fuckers are coming out but are just too timid about meeting the outside world for the first time.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Josh

I weigh myself before and after my morning shit. Today's was a 2.4 pound rocket of doom. No splashback though. My technique is flawless. Single wiper too.

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I cheat the system entirely and put 3 sheets of toilet paper in the bowl before I lay the smack down. I've found it reduced splashback really well. It also depends on the density of your shit too. If you've got some heavy hitters shooting out the pipe you're probably fucked either way.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Drewbacca

I've done the number 7 before. I've been having a lot of peekaboo shits lately. The fuckers are coming out but are just too timid about meeting the outside world for the first time.

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I hate shy shitsters. I mean, it is time to leave my warm intestines, I don't want you no more.

So, I had a mini-epihony today while dropping a deuce at work today. I have found the secret to the single-wipe shit (well most of the time).

It all has to do with "Priming" the shit before it comes out. Now forcing such an act only ends in bad things, wether it be hemmorhoids (sp?) or a not-so-nice poo 'experience' I've found that if I wait till just after my initial "Man, I need to poop" response, your body seems to secrete somewhat of a lube inside your anal cavity.... This is where the magic happens, it makes sure that if you have a hearty poo, it slides right out with mininal effort, splashback and little remnants that make you wipe more than once. Sometimes with NO poop on the paper, its truly amazing.

Also, if a fart happens to come along mid-nugget, your pretty much fucked as it knocks the lubricant out of whack and throws yoru shit off-course in the form of a foul-smelling gust from the depths of your colon.