Florida Teacher Vanishes Toothpick, Is Accused of Wizardry

http://www.local6.com/news/16169506/detail.html

I hope they give him the old "throw 'em in the lake" puritan witch test :bang:

fucking florida jesus christ

edit: http://versuscity.net/bugs-florida.gif

What else do you expect from America's wang?

Florida teacher accused of being able to remove thumb and then replace it.

Harry Potter told on him.

Oh silly Florida.

H'yup.

it's pronounced wiz-ad-dwy.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1124/...674712cb11.jpg

How the fuck does this happen in this day and age?

I'd blame this superstitious, bible-thumping insanity on Jeb Bush running the state, but he's no longer Governor. I don't know wtf is going on down there.

How can the principal of this school even bother to take this seriously?

I can just imagine him doing it in front of a classroom full of nine year olds and them all screaming as soon as he tucks it into his shirt cuff.

No it wasn't like that. There was one pasty, slightly overweight kid that was sitting in the back, alone, with dogeared copy of the bible under his textbook that no one likes and smells a lot like cats. He doesn't have any friends outside of his bible study group.

As the toothpick disappears all the other children laugh, but our boy goes rigid and stares and the chalkboard, unseeing, as a pool of sweat grows on his seat, realizing he is trapped in a room with a wizard. He tries desperately to think of a way out, and five minutes later, he bolts, mumbling something of "Igottagotothebathroom" as he flees.

Opie and Anthony dealt with this the other day (yesterday?).
Apparently, the guy was a fuck up and the school was looking for any reason to get rid of him. It begs asking though, how much of a fuck up could he have been if this was the ammo used in his firing.

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Originally Posted by Cowutopia

No it wasn't like that. There was one pasty, slightly overweight kid that was sitting in the back, alone, with dogeared copy of the bible under his textbook that no one likes and smells a lot like cats. He doesn't have any friends outside of his bible study group.

As the toothpick disappears all the other children laugh, but our boy goes rigid and stares and the chalkboard, unseeing, as a pool of sweat grows on his seat, realizing he is trapped in a room with a wizard. He tries desperately to think of a way out, and five minutes later, he bolts, mumbling something of "Igottagotothebathroom" as he flees.

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I think that guy posts on our boards.

I wish I'd be accused of wizardry. I'd put that right on the resume.

I keep forgetting people don't care if they become laughing stocks of the silent intelligent majority.

"Intellegent Majority"?

If only...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cigsthecat

I wish I'd be accused of wizardry. I'd put that right on the resume.

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I came here to say that...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Some Stupid Japanese Name

Apparently, the guy was a fuck up and the school was looking for any reason to get rid of him. It begs asking though, how much of a fuck up could he have been if this was the ammo used in his firing.

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It's probably just easier if there's a specific number in the rule book they can point to when firing him. "Clause 8.3.21: Wizardry, witchcraft, and Jesus should not be referred to in the classroom"

But if he got fired for Jesus people would be up in arms.

Well, for Jesus, they would probably just send him to the worst public school in the county. Which coincidentally, probably has the largest amount of religious kids.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Thief Silver

But if he got fired for Jesus people would be up in arms.

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I'm not a religious man, but if this guy used his wizard powers to make Jesus disappear I'd be mad too

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cowutopia

No it wasn't like that. There was one pasty, slightly overweight kid that was sitting in the back, alone, with dogeared copy of the bible under his textbook that no one likes and smells a lot like cats. He doesn't have any friends outside of his bible study group.

As the toothpick disappears all the other children laugh, but our boy goes rigid and stares and the chalkboard, unseeing, as a pool of sweat grows on his seat, realizing he is trapped in a room with a wizard. He tries desperately to think of a way out, and five minutes later, he bolts, mumbling something of "Igottagotothebathroom" as he flees.

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AWESOME