Waxing the Dolphin at Work

I was just informed by a fellow employee that he caught another employee waxing his dolphin at work at our other location.

Apparently the one who caught him arrived back at the office to get some parts and found the door locked which is not unusual because we have a female employee who locks the door when she is the only one there. He unlocks the door and immediately hears, "HELLO? Can I help you?" from the room directly opposite the door. "Wait, wait, wait" was uttered as he saw some rampant shuffling around of articles of clothing.

This is too much.

I figure every time I see him now I will promptly start tapping my foot in a related manner and give him a eyebrow up. I guess its time to implement some pr0n blocking software.

Stupid ass... that's what bathroom stalls are for.

Why do you need help btw? are you the guys supervisor or something?

edit: good move on changing the thread title.

obviously it was him who was rubbing the carrot, and now needs help on how to act around the guy who caught him and the hundreds of people that guy will tell.

Just yell out eveytime you see him, just like in Gears

NETWUUUURRRKKKED!!!

DICK GRAVY!!!!

Also you should buy him some Wax Dolphins and put them on his desk

http://home.rmci.net/coyote76/waxcandles.htm

http://home.rmci.net/coyote76/images/dolphin.JPG

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Originally Posted by D_N_G

Also you should buy him some Wax Dolphins and put them on his desk

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I think this would be a subtle way of saying... I know.

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Originally Posted by Jason

Stupid ass... that's what bathroom stalls are for.

Why do you need help btw? are you the guys supervisor or something?

edit: good move on changing the threat title.

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I'm not his supervisor but I've heard numerous things about his pr0n exploits, and being the IT manager I should probably lock that shit down. But on the other hand I don't wanna be that guy unless directed from above.

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Originally Posted by Some Stupid Japanese Name

obviously it was him who was rubbing the carrot, and now needs help on how to act around the guy who caught him and the hundreds of people that guy will tell.

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This is true. shhhhhhhh.

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Originally Posted by Netwurked

I'm not his supervisor but I've heard numerous things about his pr0n exploits, and being the IT manager I should probably lock that shit down. But on the other hand I don't wanna be that guy unless directed from above.

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I would have the guy fired... why fuck it up for the rest of the team because one guy couldn't take it to the bathroom? it's not the porn site that is to blame... imo.

Forget jerking off, people have been caught fucking at my job.

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Originally Posted by Dolemite

Forget jerking off, people have been caught fucking at my job.

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in a perfect world the follow up to that would be a promotion. Fucking on the clock is a beautiful thing :tu:

also, these ads suck.

I still haven't seen any ads.

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Originally Posted by Jason

also, these ads suck.

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If you're using Firefox, block them with Adblock Plus.

They are gone now... you just happen to log on when they aren't running I guess.

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Originally Posted by Nash

If you're using Firefox, block them with Adblock Plus.

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I meant the ads I was seeing at the time actually, some I don't mind so much but others are just out there.

Appreciate the recommendation though, thanks.

Broadcast an email to everyone in the company/clients about this news.

Subject: ATTENTION ALL EMPLOYEES!

Inside: Be on the lookout for Employee name here because thats not a roll of quarters in his pocket, he's just happy to see something.

http://www.ifyouseesomethingsaysomething.net/logo.jpg

I've jerked off at work before. I have also fucked at work.

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Originally Posted by Dolemite

Forget jerking off, people have been caught fucking at my job.

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The stories I could tell from my different jobs...

That's what Fight Club is for.

give him a raise

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Seems destiny ends with me saving you.

I've jacked off at work before.

Into the chowder?

Into the misohorny soup.

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Originally Posted by Nash

If you're using Firefox, block them with Adblock Plus.

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The ads pay for the site, dick hole. Just deal with them.

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Originally Posted by Josh

The ads pay for the site, dick hole. Just deal with them.

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I know. Plus its not like its those annoying ads with the sound. They are small and tastefull. TNL needs the cheddah. Or would you all prefer to pay for your account?

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Originally Posted by Josh

The ads pay for the site, dick hole. Just deal with them.

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I have had a girl go down on me at her work place, that was awesome. And vice versa. No shame in the game.

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Originally Posted by Dolemite

Forget jerking off, people have been caught fucking at my job.

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idk about you but i would way rather be caught fucking

i mean, did the guy actually have to get disrobed? it's called stealth.

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Originally Posted by Thief Silver

I have had a girl go down on me at her work place, that was awesome. And vice versa. No shame in the game.

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OMG, I have pictures from when you two want to the comic con!

http://www.getfit.ru/pic/dcontent/ne....fat-woman.jpg

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Originally Posted by Jason

I would have the guy fired... why fuck it up for the rest of the team because one guy couldn't take it to the bathroom? it's not the porn site that is to blame... imo.

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? - and yet you'd give someone a promotion for fucking at work? You're an idiot...

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Originally Posted by ElCapitan

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

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http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f2.../horrible4.png


I got this one girl at work that blew me in a storage trailer we had outside last year and I'm constantly getting her to pull her titties out at work

I love sluts.

sluts make the world go round IMO

S.C.R.E.A.M.

I only have one exp at work and it didn't involve me jacking it off during lunch. I fingered banged this bitch when I was 19 and working at a pizza joint, I requested return and she only told me it was break time over. WTF..... yeah.... she wanted the N D in the future and I played it cool.....

I think I f'd her gf the next weekend. I dunno. + real rep for me.

I use to fuck a girl that worked in a video store in the middle of nowhere in highschool. Seriously they would get like 5 customers a day, but one would ALWAYS come in when I was doing the deed, assholes. However, free movies + free hershey's ice cream = happy Biff for 9 months (a high school record for me)

So giving birth to your illegitimate child ruined things for you two?

Damn right, stupid bastard.

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Originally Posted by Biff

I use to fuck a girl that worked in a video store in the middle of nowhere in highschool. Seriously they would get like 5 customers a day, but one would ALWAYS come in when I was doing the deed, assholes. However, free movies + free hershey's ice cream = happy Biff for 9 months (a high school record for me)

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Benefit of running a Software Etc in the mall at 16, you can bang your gf half the night around the store and in the backroom once the gate is down while getting paid.

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Originally Posted by Cowutopia

I've jerked off at work before. I have also fucked at work.

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Not surprised by this news, but can also concur.

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Originally Posted by Thief Silver

I have had a girl go down on me at her work place, that was awesome. And vice versa. No shame in the game.

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No.
No you haven't.

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Originally Posted by Biff

I use to fuck a girl that worked in a video store in the middle of nowhere in highschool. Seriously they would get like 5 customers a day, but one would ALWAYS come in when I was doing the deed, assholes. However, free movies + free hershey's ice cream = happy Biff for 9 months (a high school record for me)

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Sex at work is like a cigarette, it's a signal for every bodunk assmonkey mortherfucker to come in and bother you for 20 minutes about nothing while you think about murdering them for not letting you have what you wanted.

hahahaha omg, so true.

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No.
No you haven't.

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Believe what you will.

You work here, don't you.

Boy do I wish!

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Originally Posted by K3V

You work here, don't you.

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LOL!!

The thought of thief going down on an Iron Privacy fence is ...disturbing to say the least.

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Originally Posted by Jetman

? - and yet you'd give someone a promotion for fucking at work? You're an idiot...

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fuckin' jack off (no pun intended)
let me break it down for your slow ass...

Fucking at work (not getting caught) = cool

Fucking at work (and getting caught) = sucks, but still cool for whoever is fucking.

Jerking off at work (in private, not getting caught) = sad, but hey... gotta do what you gotta do.)

Jerking off at work (out in the open to a porn site) = sad and fucked up to the rest of the company who NOW can't surf porn when bored because of some dip shit who couldn't take it to the bathroom.)

Hope that helped clear things up for ya. :bang:

p.s. also, in case you were that dumb... I don't really think people should be promoted for fucking at work. A sense of humor is needed for internet forums... try working on yours.

Man, let me tell you guys, when some noob named Jason mentioned people should get promoted for fucking at work, I laughed SO hard.Where does this guy get his stuff?

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Originally Posted by Jason

sad and fucked up to the rest of the company who NOW can't surf porn when bored because of some dip shit who couldn't take it to the bathroom.)

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riiight. Well, once you get a job you'll realize that no one surfs porn at work unless they have some issues, hence the term we use around here NSFW. But by all means, when you finally get a job, and get bored, fire up that porn. Im sure you're fellow co-workers will love pulling up that slack for you while you're busy fantasizing about being the second girl with one cup.

Well you could either get paid to waste time locking down the network, or you could fire the guy, not pay anyone for a week or two and find someone to do his job for for 90% of what he was paid.
Or just have him train his own replacement that is promoted from within.
/capitalism.

Don't lock down the network, fire his ass. Or just lock him out of the internet.

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Originally Posted by Jetman

Man, let me tell you guys, when some noob named Jason mentioned people should get promoted for fucking at work, I laughed SO hard.Where does this guy get his stuff?



riiight. Well, once you get a job you'll realize that no one surfs porn at work unless they have some issues, hence the term we use around here NSFW. But by all means, when you finally get a job, and get bored, fire up that porn. Im sure you're fellow co-workers will love pulling up that slack for you while you're busy fantasizing about being the second girl with one cup.

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That was actually REALLY bad dude... I get a lot of shit on this forum from the regulars and to be honest most of it is actually funny but you need to step it up a notch.

Also, most people who work all day in front of a computer w/ the internet and minimal supervision do (on occasion) hit porn related sites. They shouldn't but they do.

Please stop posting.

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Originally Posted by Biff

Please stop posting.

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Originally Posted by Elkino1

Please stop posting.

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Originally Posted by icarusfall

Please stop posting.

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Please go fuck yourself x 4

Please ban him.

Please stay on topic. Either tell everyone how you surf porn and wax it at work or STFU.

also, please go fuck yourself.

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Originally Posted by Jason

Please go fuck yourself x 4

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Originally Posted by Jason

Please stop posting.

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enter... this asshole ^

yeah I wasn't on topic, you got me... go fuck yourself while waxing it at work.

how's that?

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Originally Posted by Advocate

Please stop posting.

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Originally Posted by Jason

Please go fuck yourself.

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Originally Posted by Timber

Please stop posting.

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^ fools.

> Funny.

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Originally Posted by icarusfall

Please stop posting.

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Originally Posted by Biff

Please stop posting.

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Originally Posted by kingoffighters

Some Mod, please ban him.

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Originally Posted by Jason

Also Jason. please go fuck yourself.

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Fuck dude, take a hint. Why are you hanging around somewhere that nobody likes you? It doesn't make sense... aren't there a billion forums out there?

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Originally Posted by Biff

Please stop posting.

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Originally Posted by Elkino1

Please stop posting.

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Originally Posted by icarusfall

Please stop posting.

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Originally Posted by NGEFreek

Please stop posting.

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Originally Posted by Timber

Please stop posting.

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Originally Posted by K3V

Please stop posting.

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This thread has become a massive jack-off session itself. Stay on topic and let's redeem this.

If you work in an office and you aren't having sex there, you should find a new office. Some people are very hesitant to get involved with coworkers, but stolen moments in the bathroom, on the stairwell, and even out in the main office make for very good memories. Of course, if you have messy break-ups or the interested party seems too emotional or tactless, don't get involved.

Jesus, I sound like Dear Abby. Let's just say that the only thing better for easy quality sex than working at an office is working at an office and wearing a wedding ring. Well, I guess college is up there, too.

Masturbation? Keep it in the bathroom, but case it for cameras first.

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Originally Posted by Josh

Fuck dude, take a hint. Why are you hanging around somewhere that nobody likes you? It doesn't make sense... aren't there a billion forums out there?

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the 6 of you should feel honored I chose TNL to spend my time over any of the billion forums out there. Try to be more positive.

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Originally Posted by Nick

This thread has become a massive jack-off session itself. Stay on topic and let's redeem this.

If you work in an office and you aren't having sex there, you should find a new office. Some people are very hesitant to get involved with coworkers, but stolen moments in the bathroom, on the stairwell, and even out in the main office make for very good memories. Of course, if you have messy break-ups or the interested party seems too emotional or tactless, don't get involved.

Jesus, I sound like Dear Abby. Let's just say that the only thing better for easy quality sex than working at an office is working at an office and wearing a wedding ring. Well, I guess college is up there, too.

Masturbation? Keep it in the bathroom, but case it for cameras first.

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good stuff... think I need a new office.

"Stay on topic" means "drop it."

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Originally Posted by Nick

Please stop postingoff topic shit

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I would probably fire a guy if I caught him jacking off at work.

What if it's not a guy?

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Originally Posted by Nick

Masturbation? Keep it in the bathroom, but case it for cameras first.

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if this is a chronic thing for somebody, they may wanna look into one of these.

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Originally Posted by Nick

What if it's not a guy?

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Cushy desk job within view of my office of course.

What if she's ugly?

No such thing as an ugly pussy, noob.

Google image search can prove you wrong pretty easily.

Google maybe, TNL, no.

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Originally Posted by Biff

No such thing as an ugly pussy, noob.

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That's the stupidest shit said in this thread... congrats.

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Originally Posted by Biff

Cushy desk job within view of my office of course.

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It only took 15,915 posts, but this is the best one Ive seen from you :tu:

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Originally Posted by Jason

That's the stupidest shit said in this thread... congrats.

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Don't try and pass the buck queen.

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Originally Posted by Biff

No such thing as an ugly pussy, noob.

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Originally Posted by Jason

That's the stupidest shit said in this thread... congrats.

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Biff. jason ... Jason. Biff.

I was friends with a crazy chick for a while who worked for a dealership as like a receptionist or some shit in the garage. She used to masturbate in the bathroom all the damn time. I tried to fuck her but it didn't happen, she was like 35 - 36 and only wanted to fuck 19 year olds, I was 25 - 26 at the time, 6 - 7 years too late.

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Originally Posted by Thief Silver

Don't try and pass the buck queen.

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I wasn't. Not all pussy's are pretty... look at a few and you can see for yourself. you can count your mothers if you have to

Pussy doesn't have a face and it's all pink on the inside.

That's what I learned when I was 14.

And I know I've said it before but I fucked my bosses daughter at work, during normal business hours.

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Originally Posted by Chux

Pussy doesn't have a face

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http://img241.imageshack.us/img241/7758/predatorap4.jpg

:tu: :lol:

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Originally Posted by Chux

Pussy doesn't have a face and it's all pink on the inside.

That's what I learned when I was 14.

And I know I've said it before but I fucked my bosses daughter at work, during normal business hours.

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Pussy has lips, it's almost a face... and some lips are nicer then others is all I was saying. Congrats on banging the boss's daughter.

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Originally Posted by Jason

I wasn't. Not all pussy's are pretty... look at a few and you can see for yourself. you can count your mothers if you have to

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Yeah, good job on not having reading comprehension. Otherwise you may have noticed that I was talking about you trying to pass off biff's post as dumber than 99% of yours, which it wasn't.

You still hold the record for dumbest post.

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Originally Posted by Thief Silver

Yeah, good job on not having reading comprehension. Otherwise you may have noticed that I was talking about you trying to pass off biff's post as dumber than 99% of yours, which it wasn't.

You still hold the record for dumbest post.

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thanks for the clarification :eep:

i've masturbated at work before. i generally did it out of boredom and the anticipation of someone catching me... hasn't happened yet.

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Originally Posted by Atlas

i've masturbated at work before. i generally did it out of boredom and the anticipation of someone catching me... hasn't happened yet.

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leave the stall open if you wanna be caught... then leave your week open to find a new job.

i don't *actually* want to get caught you sirry boy.

LOL, silly me.

I like the term punching the clown...

This thread is fantastic. Jason you're such a silly bitch.

is it really fantastic? I thought it was ok. Yeah I can be silly but I can also be serious... watch out.

btw, I jerked it at work 2 days ago... back on topic.

i beat it at work last month in the bathroom, but the best part of the story is that i kept some of my man batter in my hand and rubbed it on this girl i work with's face. ***not fronting*** this is the girl that is always flashin me her tits and blowin me on the job, she said she thought it was hott :link:

O_O