Doing your business in public

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Originally Posted by Regus

Man up.

You guys sound like a bunch of babies. The last bad bathroom encounter I had was at Penn Station in new york, it was so filthy in there I actually had flies swarming around my head, and I still took a shit. I've also shitted in stalls that had broken locks, and had people trying to push the door open (which I had to hold closed with my foot. I bet most of you would probably faint in that scenario.

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At the NY get together last year, I think it was Saturday, I got on the train and was feeling fine, but half way there I really had to shit, and it kept getting worse. To the point where I went to the toilets in Penn Station, where I had to wait another 10 minutes for someone else to get out of the shitter, so after someone else who just took a shit, in those horrible bathrooms (The guy was homeless too) I followed up with my own shit. God that was horrible though.

I shit twice a day, and I make sure to do it at work where I'm getting paid to shit.

I dont mind taking a piss next to anyone. I'm liable to take a piss just about anywhere if need be. Droppin' a deuce is a slightly different manner. If the place is clean, I can do it. I dont care if people next to me hear the anguish that is my bowel movement; fuck them. But I'll be damned if I take a seat after someone has utterly dessicrated the place.

On that note, I have a story. Workin' in the retail industry has led me to see some nightmare-worthy bathroom stalls. Shit-, piss-, blood-, condom-smothered toilets and floors. But this one time at work takes the cake. An elderly gentleman walked into the stall and does his business. And at one point he decides its a good idea to lean forward from his squat posision, and spray the wall behind him with projectile-feces. Wanting to clean his mess up, he removes his pants and proceeds to smear this mess from wall to wall. After looking upon his work, the man puts his pants back on and walks out of the store. He didn't even buy anything. I walked in about 10 minutes afterword. There was someone else standing guard at the door not letting people in, but I demanded to see this mess. It was terrible.

Also: I've been eating a lot of oatmeal lately, and goddamn I've been putting out some massive ones. I have to buy a plunger today, the toilet can't take it anymore.

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Originally Posted by Regus

I was in central park once and I saw a homeless guy shitting into a box, completely out in the open surrounded by people. That's what I call heroic.

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It's good to see a young man like you proud of his father.

Every single morning when I get to work I drop the Cosby kids off at the pool, if I don't the day is all fucked up.

I'm glad to know that TNL still has it... in it.

Lately I've been dropping shits like they were lubricated lumps of quartz, out in a second and clean first wipe. Its been great.

The worst shits I've had to take are when its below zero and really windy outside. Taking a shit in a porta pottie is one thing, but having that cold ass wind actually blow down the vent and up your ass really sucks!
Working outside is terrible somedays.

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Originally Posted by arjue

Lately I've been dropping shits like they were lubricated lumps of quartz, out in a second and clean first wipe. Its been great.

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I love it when I see that my turd is firm and tapered at the end- I know it's going to be an easy wipe job. But when that shit is broken up into chunks, I'm fucked.

Alright, here's how I go.

I'm a pretty private pooper. It's like a zen thing. I like to take a long time and sit there and enjoy the quiet when I shit. So I'm never very happy when someone comes in and ruins my meditative shitting with their farty nonsense.

As far as pissing. Just piss in a urinal. I always find it a little sad when grown men move the other way or lean way into a urinal out of some pathetic fear that some dude might catch a glimpse of your dick.

*edit - at work yesterday this guy went into a urinal and closed the door to piss when all of the urinals were open. He also left the sink running while he was doing it. What the fuck?

I love it when I shit enough that the pile pierces the water level and comes out so that it really fucking stinks in the room. I also cannot flush without looking at the load I've just dropped, I just HAVE to see it. Sometimes I want to take a picture or just not flush so the next person can see what an awesome shit I just shat.

And if someone shit before me and forgot to flush, I cannot, WILL not go until I have a fresh bowl to work with. It's cheating if you poop on someone else's poop.
Pooping is serious buisness.