Doing your business in public

this scenario is assuming the restroom is empty when i arrive, and is equipped with multiple stalls and urinals

everytime i have to breakdown and take a dump in a public place, i always pick an alternating stall (if occupied) or choose the one on the end, so the next guy can pick the one on the other end or one removed.

and everytime when the entire place is empty and i pick the one on the end, some douchebag walks in to the otherwise empty row and starts their business.

now i can understand this in some occasions, depending on the number of stalls, or the severity of the blowout.
but now we come to my actual "pee"ve... when these douchebags pick the adjacent stall and only take a leak

go use a fucking urinal. the entire place is empty including urinals, why choose the stall next to where im trying to drop my bombs.

it happens without fail. i must have signs on my shoes that say come whizz next to me


should i just eat my craw since technically its a public place?
anyone else notice this type of behavior?
do you give people space when possible?
anyone else have public restroom quirks, or things that bother them?

it's a broad reaching topic, so feel free to discuss anything having to do with public restroom facilities/usage

I spend as little time as possible in public bathrooms. So I don't give a shit what other people are doing as long as they are not showing me their wang.

I will never understand the people who ignore an open urinal and instead walk into a stall and piss into it without even bothering to close the door.

Less splashback.

I pretty much follow your rules except if I have to drown the Cosby's I will do it anywhere. When I have to poo I poo and don't care who it's next to. When going #1 I avoid the stalls and use the emptiest urinal and turn slightly sideways depending where the other patrons are at.

I shit my pants at a hot dog joint when I was 15 because my buddy made me laugh to hard. I took off my undies and threw them on the mirror in the bathroom. That must of sucked to clean up.

Good topic.

I hate it when I'm pissing at a urinal and the guy next to me is pissing in a urinal, but the restroom isn't equipped with wooden dividers between the urinals. Sometimes I get a little bit of his second hand spray on my hand, and a simple wooden divider between urinals would eliminate this problem. I usually get really pissed when I walk into a nice restaraunt washroom and they don't have dividers between urinals. I mean, I'm paying $25 a plate for a meal and this place couldn't afford a $1 piece of particle board to use as a divider between urinals? C'mon, really?

As for the pooping/stall choosing problem, I have the same issue as you DNG. I try to avoid public pooping whenever possible, and I'll actually go out of my way to poop at home. But when I absolutely have to poop in a public washroom, I have one rule: I do it as fast as I possibly can. And when someone inevitably chooses to piss in the stall next to me, I usually just stick by that rule and keep at it, but I make sure to never leave the stall while someone else is still in the washroom. I don't mind being the anonymous loud shitter, but I don't want the washroom patrons to be able to put a face with my shitting.

What I think is worse than someone pissing in the stall next to you while you're shitting, is if someone else chooses to shit in that stall next to you while you're shitting too. And there's no one else in the washroom. It's completely silent, except for you and the guy in the stall next to you shitting. You're essentially sitting less than 2 feet from another man shitting. Yeah, there's a thin piece of aluminum separating you two, but that never brings me comfort when I can hear and smell each of his turds dropping in the toilet.

Oh man, I could talk about this washroom etiquette shit all day.

I piss in stalls whenever possible.

I will endure a fair amount of pain and discomfort to avoid shitting in a public toilet.

seik, if i have to do it in public, same here with the speed, i shit, wipe and am out of there

also, i always put down TP on the public commode, no way will i touch my bare ass to that porcelain

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Originally Posted by Netwurked

I shit my pants at a hot dog joint when I was 15 because my buddy made me laugh to hard. I took off my undies and threw them on the mirror in the bathroom. That must of sucked to clean up.

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http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/a...1&d=1237828658

I just remember the time that I was using the sink in the bathroom at my old job and this guy Neil from the training department came running in, said "hi," and shot right into a stall. I heard a jumble of keys as his pants hit the floor, and two seconds later PPPHHHOOOOOTTTHSHSHSHHHHHHH *PLOPPLOPPLOP* SPLASH SPLASH *PLOPPLOP* while he was almost screaming "OOOHHHHHHHGGHHHHHH!!"

I was all like, woah, and got my ass out of there.

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Originally Posted by kingoffighters

... as long as they are not showing me their wang.

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Racist.

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Originally Posted by Dolemite

PPPHHHOOOOOTTTHSHSHSHHHHHHH *PLOPPLOPPLOP* SPLASH SPLASH *PLOPPLOP* while he was almost screaming "OOOHHHHHHHGGHHHHHH!!

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Rep +1 for sound effects

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Originally Posted by Yoshi

Rep +1 for sound effects

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Ditto I repped that also.

I get guys that want to make small talk while I'm pissing.

Just wipe the seat off and take a shit.

Grow up.

I try not to shit anywhere but home, but I've found when I'm at a place like school, where I have to be there for 8+ hours a day, I seek out the small bathrooms in the corners of the less populated buildings. They're usually cleaner, and are sometimes single stalled (which is nice, cause no one can invade your space that way)

Public restrooms are a godsend, provided there is more than one stall and more than one urinal. Be it the case there is only one of each, I get nervous because I have to lock to door and hope no one else has to go for the next 15 minutes. That being said, if I walk into a place with more than one and one is already occupied, I make an effort to not poop next door to someone else. I was at court this morning and had a monster brewing and when I walked in and saw one of the two stalls was occupied, I politely acted like I had accidentally walked into the women's bathroom and backed out. As soon as John Q Shit Before Me walked out, I went in and destroyed that bathroom.
That being said, if I'm dropping the Cosbys off at the pool and someone comes in to take a piss next to me, I don't tend to care, unless I'm feeling especially self conscious and know that every push will result in a loud and smelly expulsion. Then I just start talking to myself to pretend I'm insane.

I love shitting in public restrooms that aren't totally gross. If I walk in and someone else is dropping their kids off at the pool I walk right over and plop down on the stall next to them. No one is going to one up me in a shit-off and fuck them if they don't want to compete.

You are DNG's worst nightmare.

Bombs Away!
http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/a...5&d=1203309065

Follow these rules at all times:

Oh no one of the other ladies might hear my delicate turds popping out.

You guys are pathetic. I'll shit anywhere at any time and fuck anyone who gets in the way.

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Originally Posted by Josh

I'll shit anywhere at any time and fuck anyone who gets in the way.

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That's hot.

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Originally Posted by Josh

You guys are pathetic. I'll shit anywhere at any time and fuck anyone who gets in the way.

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Back that statement up by shitting ON the dinner table at this year's Thanksgiving.

True shitting story: I was on the road a few weeks ago in Northern Kentucky, not by choice but by vocation, and had to drop a mega serious shit-bomb and was over an hour from my hotel. So I had my colleague stop at a gas station along 75 and ran in full throttle only to find the bathroom occupied. After banging on the door for about 5 minutes this cute little asian girl came out, gave me the evil eye and literally RAN out of the store. I found this weird but was really needed to shit so I proceeded to open the door of the bathroom to find shit literally EVERYWHERE, on the sink, on the walls, all over the toilet, on the doorknob, etc.

It was the fucking worst bathroom i have ever seen outside of 25 cent pitcher night at ol' Theo's in Ypsilanti. In addition to said shit, it smelled of death and the attendant whom strolls over, looks at me and is like "Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?" to which I answer "Oh bullshit, this wasn't me, it was that little chick who ran by me" to which he answers "Uh, sure man, well I need to charge you a clean up fee of 25 dollars cash for this" and holds out his hand. I look down at hillbilly Jim's hand, stare him in the eye, and proceed to laugh at him and his job. He then tells me to get the fuck out of there or he's calling the cops, so as I'm walking out, I hear him call the cops and start rattling off the description of my car. Never got pulled over, but the moral of the story is don't trust asians.

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Originally Posted by Josh

Oh no one of the other ladies might hear my delicate turds popping out.

You guys are pathetic. I'll shit anywhere at any time and fuck anyone who gets in the way.

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I don't give a damn about anyone hearing my anal emissions. I just don't enjoy sitting on piss stains/ball sweat/skid marks. If you do, that's awesome.

Josh actually consumes ball sweat to survive, he's a gay emo vampire.

You're scared of "piss stains, skid marks & ball sweat".
or
You're scared of dudes beside you hearing your monster dump.

Either way, you're a pussy.

No, but you strike me as a hygiene-impaired faggot.

I give people space in any public place, whether it's a bathroom, a bus, a waiting room, or whatever.

I do find it weird when guys use a stall when the urinals are free, and it's a pretty obnoxious when they splash piss on the seat. I'm not really sure what they're afraid of.

I don't even pee standing up in my own toilet. At my height, the splash back just makes a mess of the bottom of the toilet seat, and besides, I'd prefer to keep my options open just in case.

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Originally Posted by Dolemite

No, but you strike me as a hygiene-impaired faggot.

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sorry that I don't wipe with wet-ones, my pretty pretty princess.

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Originally Posted by kedawa

I do find it weird when guys use a stall when the urinals are free, and it's a pretty obnoxious when they splash piss on the seat.

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When I piss in a stall I make a point of splashing the seat. It's becasue of assholes like me that I don't want to shit in public restrooms.

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Originally Posted by FirstBlood

sorry that I don't wipe with wet-ones, my pretty pretty princess.

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Stinky, shitflake-encrusted asshole confirmed. Someone must not have to worry about girls wanting to go down on them...you're lucky you don't have to carry that bruden. It's tough.

BTW, I do indeed use wipes (when I'm home...I don't carry them with me). I like to be clean after pushing out a turd. If you think you're getting it all using wads of dry paper, you're kidding yourself.

Nobody wants to shit in public restrooms. It's just nice to have the option when you've got a logjam building up.

Hey, I never said I NEVER shit in public restrooms. I just avoid it when I can. But sometimes you gotta fire off a missle and mission control can't delay the launch any longer.

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Originally Posted by icarusfall

Just wipe the seat off and take a shit.

Grow up.

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This.

LOL knee deep in butt pudding.

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Originally Posted by kedawa

Nobody wants to shit in public restrooms. It's just nice to have the option when you've got a logjam building up.

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No, I really honestly enjoy it. I only wipe down the seat if I see piss, if not, I'm plopin' down on that bad boy and dropping my turds.

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Originally Posted by Timber

I love shitting in public restrooms that aren't totally gross. If I walk in and someone else is dropping their kids off at the pool I walk right over and plop down on the stall next to them. No one is going to one up me in a shit-off and fuck them if they don't want to compete.

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this is so true, this dude has to shit at like every damn place we go to

Oh we are going to have fun in Ohio, Timber you must be my guide for where the good shitters are.

I just like my own toilet.

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Originally Posted by Pineapple

Oh we are going to have fun in Ohio, Timber you must be my guide for where the good shitters are.

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The best are at any Half Price Books store. I've been to about 15 in this state and a few others and they always have the nicest shitters with decent toilet paper. And for you pansy's who hate to share a bathroom they're always just a single toilet with a lock on the door.

I'm quite fond of the shitter at the blues brothers place in c-bus, something about shitting while listening to the blues live just feels...right.

Everyone tries to shit quietly, so if you go in there and push out a huge farty turd as hard as you can, you assert yourself and you get a psychological edge over the other shitters.

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Originally Posted by Timber

The best are at any Half Price Books store. I've been to about 15 in this state and a few others and they always have the nicest shitters with decent toilet paper. And for you pansy's who hate to share a bathroom they're always just a single toilet with a lock on the door.

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Yes. Yes. Yes. This is good.
Although I hope there are many fine Burger King and Subway bathrooms inbetween, otherwise my colon and your car are in trouble.

Al Bundy is the only man I'll listen to when it comes to shitting.

I just can't piss with someone standing next to me so I'll take a stall. Literally, if someone stands at the urinal next to me, somewhere in my brain just shuts the dick off and I either cannot start or stop mid-flow. It's weird. I'll shit anywhere but I'm not gonna fuck anyone who gets in the way. I'm no wild swinger like Josh.

Its a hard knock life.

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Originally Posted by K3V

Follow these rules at all times:

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This was nothing short of amazing.

ok how about this

there are plenty of slobs that whizz/poop and run without washing, then transfer the remnants from their hands to the door

do you use a paper towel, tissue or article of clothing (ie. shirt sleeve) when opening/exiting a restroom door where you have to use a handle/knob?

Rarely. I am also not terrified of my own shadow.

DNG, you sound like one of these maniacs who streams TP down the crack of the stall door because you're afraid someone's gonna peep through and watch you pinch one off. don't you people have more important shit lol to worry about?

like what do you do when you walk into a restroom? do you check for feet to establish which stall is optimal? because if i'm taking a shit in there, that's what's gonna make me think you're a big ole meat magnet.

i shit like 3-4 times a day and i work outside of the home so i got over any of this a long time ago. urinal etiquette i understand and follow but stalls have walls, not rules.

Yeah I just wash my hands and then open the door. You can't protect yourself from everything -- chances are the rail on the stairs/escalator have 100x more nastiness than the doorknob in the bathroom.

true cant protect yourself from everything, im far from being fully germophobic , and i actually dont care if someone sees me pinching a loaf.

was just asking to keep the topic going, and because, almost every single person at this facility where i work grabs a paper towel on the way out the door. seems like the normal thing to do here and not the exception

but then again burg, we all know lawyers are dirty in the first place, so why would we expect different behavior in the restroom had to do it :P

ideally bathroom doors should not have knobs so this whole nonsense is avoided. but i really think it's a non-issue.

personally, i think everyone should wash after wiping up a deuce, but really, who gets a big glob of shit on their hands while doing so? and even then, 98% of casual non-washers would say "fuck there's shit on my hand, guess i better make an exception and soap that shit off."

i really think some slight amount of contact with germs, while gross to think about, actually promotes health. i bet frequent purell users spend more days sick than those who forget to wash their hands once in a while.

EDIT: just pissed in an open stall in a 2-stall 2-urinal setup because moseying up to the open urinal would have required engaging in heavy petting with the existing urinal occupant. real life is seldom as simple as it is in your little bathroom brainteasers.

I wash my hands at LEAST three times a day and have hand sanitizer on my desk at work.

Fuck you guys, I don't want germs.

I avoid blatant concentrations of piss and shit in public restrooms, and I'll wash up after pooping, but I'm no germ psycho. The immune system needs pratice, especially Burg's and Ramon's since they have AIDS.

I hate shitting in public places, but I'm able to do so if I have to as long as the place is semi clean looking. I'll do a pre emptive flush or two, using the water that splashes on the seat from that to wipe down the seat, then make a layer of toilet paper to buffer between my cheeks and legs and the seat.
After that, I don't care who's doing what in the rest of the bathroom.

I do hate guys who use the urinal immediately next to me if there are other open urinals. I, too, get pee shy if the guy is right next to me. I've gotten better though, I used to clam up if there was another person in the room at all.

You ever shit and when the turd hits the water a drop splashes up and directly hits your asshole? I hate that.

It's like a piss and shit bidet!

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Originally Posted by arjue

Everyone tries to shit quietly, so if you go in there and push out a huge farty turd as hard as you can, you assert yourself and you get a psychological edge over the other shitters.

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Not only that, but it establishes a more relaxed decorum for bathroom etiquette.

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Originally Posted by kedawa

I don't even pee standing up in my own toilet.

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So we're just gonna ignore this? My how TNL has changed. :cry:

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Originally Posted by D_N_G

ok how about this

there are plenty of slobs that whizz/poop and run without washing, then transfer the remnants from their hands to the door

do you use a paper towel, tissue or article of clothing (ie. shirt sleeve) when opening/exiting a restroom door where you have to use a handle/knob?

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Seriously, no. And then I pick my nose or eat food after without washing. Not worried about that kinda thing in the least. Poop comes from your body, and I've seen enough videos of people eating it to not be afraid of some little shit remnants.

And Tones, fucking epic lol.

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Originally Posted by Anal Kaboom

So we're just gonna ignore this? My how TNL has changed. :cry:

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at some point i just throw up my hands in surrender

I just want to know where all of these pubes are coming from. I roll up into the bathroom at TGI Friday's and there's a fucking tumbleweed perched on the lip of the urinal. The fuck is going on?

Man up.

You guys sound like a bunch of babies. The last bad bathroom encounter I had was at Penn Station in new york, it was so filthy in there I actually had flies swarming around my head, and I still took a shit. I've also shitted in stalls that had broken locks, and had people trying to push the door open (which I had to hold closed with my foot. I bet most of you would probably faint in that scenario.

I shit and piss where I need to.

I'm only annoyed by the people at work who piss in stalls when there are perfectly good urinals available. They always hit the seat.

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Originally Posted by burgundy

i shit like 3-4 times a day

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What?

I shit once a day. Tops.

sorryeveryonemyspacebarisbrokenlol

well,anyways,everytimeigotoapublicrestroomiattractpeoplewhotakethemostmassivedumpsint heworld.
isweartogoditslikeanearthquakeandtheysoundliketheyarehavinganorgasmduringit.ineedtore cordsomeonedayandmakeatechnoremix

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Originally Posted by Cowutopia

What?

I shit once a day. Tops.

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Hit the gym and and up your caloric intake and I guarantee you will be shitting 3-4 times a day. I'm at the point now that shitting once a day is abnormal and upsetting. Oh, and tp add something else to this topic, I was in central park once and I saw a homeless guy shitting into a box, completely out in the open surrounded by people. That's what I call heroic.

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Originally Posted by burgundy

at some point i just throw up my hands in surrender

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*sigh* I guess shitting is serious business here at TNL.

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Originally Posted by Regus

Man up.

You guys sound like a bunch of babies. The last bad bathroom encounter I had was at Penn Station in new york, it was so filthy in there I actually had flies swarming around my head, and I still took a shit. I've also shitted in stalls that had broken locks, and had people trying to push the door open (which I had to hold closed with my foot. I bet most of you would probably faint in that scenario.

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At the NY get together last year, I think it was Saturday, I got on the train and was feeling fine, but half way there I really had to shit, and it kept getting worse. To the point where I went to the toilets in Penn Station, where I had to wait another 10 minutes for someone else to get out of the shitter, so after someone else who just took a shit, in those horrible bathrooms (The guy was homeless too) I followed up with my own shit. God that was horrible though.

I shit twice a day, and I make sure to do it at work where I'm getting paid to shit.

I dont mind taking a piss next to anyone. I'm liable to take a piss just about anywhere if need be. Droppin' a deuce is a slightly different manner. If the place is clean, I can do it. I dont care if people next to me hear the anguish that is my bowel movement; fuck them. But I'll be damned if I take a seat after someone has utterly dessicrated the place.

On that note, I have a story. Workin' in the retail industry has led me to see some nightmare-worthy bathroom stalls. Shit-, piss-, blood-, condom-smothered toilets and floors. But this one time at work takes the cake. An elderly gentleman walked into the stall and does his business. And at one point he decides its a good idea to lean forward from his squat posision, and spray the wall behind him with projectile-feces. Wanting to clean his mess up, he removes his pants and proceeds to smear this mess from wall to wall. After looking upon his work, the man puts his pants back on and walks out of the store. He didn't even buy anything. I walked in about 10 minutes afterword. There was someone else standing guard at the door not letting people in, but I demanded to see this mess. It was terrible.

Also: I've been eating a lot of oatmeal lately, and goddamn I've been putting out some massive ones. I have to buy a plunger today, the toilet can't take it anymore.

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Originally Posted by Regus

I was in central park once and I saw a homeless guy shitting into a box, completely out in the open surrounded by people. That's what I call heroic.

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It's good to see a young man like you proud of his father.

Every single morning when I get to work I drop the Cosby kids off at the pool, if I don't the day is all fucked up.

I'm glad to know that TNL still has it... in it.

Lately I've been dropping shits like they were lubricated lumps of quartz, out in a second and clean first wipe. Its been great.

The worst shits I've had to take are when its below zero and really windy outside. Taking a shit in a porta pottie is one thing, but having that cold ass wind actually blow down the vent and up your ass really sucks!
Working outside is terrible somedays.

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Originally Posted by arjue

Lately I've been dropping shits like they were lubricated lumps of quartz, out in a second and clean first wipe. Its been great.

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I love it when I see that my turd is firm and tapered at the end- I know it's going to be an easy wipe job. But when that shit is broken up into chunks, I'm fucked.

Alright, here's how I go.

I'm a pretty private pooper. It's like a zen thing. I like to take a long time and sit there and enjoy the quiet when I shit. So I'm never very happy when someone comes in and ruins my meditative shitting with their farty nonsense.

As far as pissing. Just piss in a urinal. I always find it a little sad when grown men move the other way or lean way into a urinal out of some pathetic fear that some dude might catch a glimpse of your dick.

*edit - at work yesterday this guy went into a urinal and closed the door to piss when all of the urinals were open. He also left the sink running while he was doing it. What the fuck?

I love it when I shit enough that the pile pierces the water level and comes out so that it really fucking stinks in the room. I also cannot flush without looking at the load I've just dropped, I just HAVE to see it. Sometimes I want to take a picture or just not flush so the next person can see what an awesome shit I just shat.

And if someone shit before me and forgot to flush, I cannot, WILL not go until I have a fresh bowl to work with. It's cheating if you poop on someone else's poop.
Pooping is serious buisness.