Jersey Shore

The season premiere was the greatest two-hours in television history. Imagine Guido Beach stretched into a Real World type season.

Quotes like, "I'll cut your hair when you're sleeping," or "You know, it's a whole culture. The working out, the tanning, the gel." A guy who calls himself "The Situation," because his abs are so impressive they've become a situation. A break-up montage on the first episode after a three-day-long romance. Fist fights between roommates, but dinner and grace at the kitchen table the same night. The phrase "guidette" used seriously—and with pride.

Buh....buh they so LOVABLE!

And I want to take the short girl home and keep her forever an ever.

oh and lol @ situations drawn on lookin abs.

Much of, if not all of, the Jersey Shore is a bug infested filth wallow, I hope all these people get malaria.

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Originally Posted by Shine

Much of, if not all of, the Jersey Shore is a bug infested filth wallow, I hope all these people get malaria.

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This has not been true for many years. They tightened up the dumping laws a lot like 10 years ago and it's a lot better now.

Also, I hope you rubes all know every reality show is 1000% fake unless it involves a contest with a cash prize and legally constitutes a game show. I don't even think these people are from Jersey, they sound like they're from Staten.

They sound like TNL's Dolemite actually.

Yeah go to Cape May and see if anyone sounds like that. For that matter Sea Isle City, Avalon, Stone Harbour, Margate, Ventor, Brigantine, etc. The only beach down South that I can say you COULD find SOME people like that are the more popular beaches now ... Wildwood (aka Childwood), Ocean City, and Atlantic City (more because of the gambling, than actual swimming).

And lets get ONE THING clear ... more like Crystal Clear. North Jersey beaches are WAY FUCKING different than South Jersey Beaches.

North Jersey = North of Trenton.
South Jersey = South of Trenton.

If you live in an area that get Channel 6 of Philadelphia (aka WPVI) and you can see this ...



You live in the Southern Area of NJ.

Funny sidenote: People that live in Trenton get both NY and Philly broadcasts. Jon Stewart, of the Daily Show, is from Trenton.

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Originally Posted by Shine

Much of, if not all of, the Jersey Shore is a bug infested filth wallow, I hope all these people get malaria.

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Bullshit. You bennies just have no idea. It's not difficult to avoid this shit. South Jersey beaches are many and clean and beautiful with fucking wildlife and shit. Even though I live in North Jerz I never go to any beaches that are less than an hour from me.

But these people do exist and there are areas in which they perennially hang out. Avoid them.

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Originally Posted by Advocate

The only beach down South that I can say you COULD find SOME people like that are the more popular beaches now ... Wildwood (aka Childwood), Ocean City, and Atlantic City (more because of the gambling, than actual swimming).

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You'll find white trash people at those beaches, but not New York guidos, which is what this show is.

But even then, dude, you're kind of buying into this whole thing where the north says the problem is down south and the south says the problem is up north, and it's all kind of bullshit. Since I moved up north I go to Seaside Heights which is supposed to be ground zero for this shit, and it's pretty much the same shit. You don't see this cartoon Guido thing unless you during spring break or some stupid excuse to party weekend.

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Originally Posted by Cowutopia

Bullshit. You bennies just have no idea. It's not difficult to avoid this shit. South Jersey beaches are many and clean and beautiful with fucking wildlife and shit. Even though I live in North Jerz I never go to any beaches that are less than an hour from me.

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Well back in the 80s and early 90s, there was a lot of problems with waste dumping. You'd see medical waste bags with needles and shit wash up on the shore in Wildwood (which is where everything washes up because of currents). He's talking about a real thing, but it hasn't been that way in many years, and, as you've mentioned, it wasn't really ever a problem at a lot of places. Most of the shore is beautiful.

I went to Coney Island over the summer on a lark and never stopped laughing at the amount of horrible people there. You yankee city folk do not belong on a beach.

Coney is a scream. It really makes the Jersey Shore look classy. That shit's like standing room only on a nice day, too.

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Originally Posted by Frogacuda

Also, I hope you rubes all know every reality show is 1000% fake unless it involves a contest with a cash prize and legally constitutes a game show. I don't even think these people are from Jersey, they sound like they're from Staten.

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Nooooo! Really?

Yeah, these people are from all over the New York state and staying at Jersey Shore for the summah.

True story, a friend of mine got cast on a makeover reality show, and not only did they give her fake clothes to wear for the "before" part, but they cast fake friends to say they were embarrassed of her and wrote lines for her to say and shit. And that's not even the kind of show that should have to be fake.

It's hilarious when people debate over if any reality show is real. The whole thing is just A) to trick rubes into taking shit seriously, and B) to not have to pay writers union wages.

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Originally Posted by Frogacuda

You'll find white trash people at those beaches, but not New York guidos, which is what this show is.

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Which is what I was saying.

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Originally Posted by Frogacuda

But even then, dude, you're kind of buying into this whole thing where the north says the problem is down south and the south says the problem is up north, and it's all kind of bullshit.

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Not really. Seaside Heights is nice. I agree, but Like I said you won't find the problem where they enforce the beach tags ... ie: Avalon, Stone Harbour, Margate, Ventnor, etc. Wildwood is very hard to patrol because of the beach itself being so large. AC and Ocean City you can lie. Avalon and Stone Harbour will ticket you no matter what.

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Originally Posted by Frogacuda

Since I moved up north I go to Seaside Heights which is supposed to be ground zero for this shit, and it's pretty much the same shit.

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Explain. I must have had too much coffee. Explain this ... you confused me.

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Originally Posted by Frogacuda

It's hilarious when people debate over if any reality show is real. The whole thing is just A) to trick rubes into taking shit seriously, and B) to not have to pay writers union wages.

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People who think it's real are idiots. Aside from the possibility of a script (I don't believe they all have one) they give you copious amounts of liquor and keep you up all night, and put you in front of a camera 24/7, and "encourage" you to do things.

But I still love this show. EVERYTHING IS QUOTABLE.

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Originally Posted by Brisco Bold

People who think it's real are idiots.

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It is on MTV. So, there are some.

Seaside is not nice. It's nicer than it was but it's not nice. Avoid.

It was better before MTV used to hold those MTV Spring Break shows.

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Originally Posted by Advocate

Explain. I must have had too much coffee. Explain this ... you confused me.

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Seaside is where MTV used to film as spring break and shit and it's where Jersey got its reputation for this shit, but I've been there and it seems pretty normal to me. I'm not holding it up as one of the nicest beaches in NJ, but I just don't see the guido phenomenon happening there.

Although in fairness, I might just not know where these people hang out. I've never been to clubs down by the shore or anything, so maybe that's why I don't see them.

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Originally Posted by Advocate

It is on MTV. So, there are some.

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I know a few people who can't fathom The Hills is fake. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!

For real, Seaside is low on the totem pole. There's a ton of nice beaches up and down the coast, you just need to know where to go. Like frog said, the dirty beach shit ended long ago. Now the trash is just the people on the beach.

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Originally Posted by Brisco Bold

I know a few people who can't fathom The Hills is fake. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!

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I've never seen it. I don't watch MTV.

Putting aside our differing opinions on the Jersey Shore for a sec, when did MTV go from Music Television, to the give douchebags airtime television?

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Originally Posted by Shine

Putting aside our differing opinions on the Jersey Shore for a sec, when did MTV go from Music Television, to the give douchebags airtime television?

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A LONG TIME AGO, BRO!

http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/a...1&d=1259968111

I grew up in the town where this show takes place (although I moved away before this sort of thing rose to power, or perhaps I was too young to see it), and watching this show is a very interesting experience. I like being able to recognize all the places they go, but the people annoy the hell out of me, stuff like this gets beamed out all over the world and its shit like this that gives Jersey a bad reputation.

I will say this though, I don't think the show glorifies these people, if anything it felt like they were being set up as objects of mockery from begining to end.

"I'm proud to be a guidette"
I almost died when she said that.

The situation, is under, control.

This show is the worst piece of trash to ever be put on TV and I love every second of it.

"I feel like this job is beneath me. I'm a bartender, I do like, great things"

This show is such staged bullshit, but it works anyway, because the characters are funny even if the shit is written.

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Originally Posted by Frogacuda

This show is such staged bullshit, but it works anyway, because the characters are funny even if the shit is written.

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http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/a...1&d=1260256848

Lawl. This show is getting protested. But I love it cause its stupid. I am mature enough to know that not all Italian people arent juced up retards.




....Sometimes they are princess rescuing plumbers that beat the hell outta lizzards.

Apparently, it's more than just protests...

Death threats probably aren't the best way to prove them wrong.

I would bang every one of those filthy guidettes nine times.

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Originally Posted by Advocate

They sound like TNL's Dolemite actually.

Yeah go to Cape May and see if anyone sounds like that. For that matter Sea Isle City, Avalon, Stone Harbour, Margate, Ventor, Brigantine, etc. The only beach down South that I can say you COULD find SOME people like that are the more popular beaches now ... Wildwood (aka Childwood), Ocean City, and Atlantic City (more because of the gambling, than actual swimming).

And lets get ONE THING clear ... more like Crystal Clear. North Jersey beaches are WAY FUCKING different than South Jersey Beaches.

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Ocean City is a dry town. My family rented a house there for 2 weeks every year for 15-20 years. There are nothing but families there. Atlantic City barely has a beach and should not be considered when discussing the shore. Brigantine is a nice beach and I will likely be inheriting a house there from an aunt sometime in the next decade. (at least, I think it's there) I can't say anything about the rest.

Northern jersey though...Belmar is great during the day. As much as guidos are horrible people, the girls are hot, and isn't that why you go to the beach anyway? Same with Seaside. Avoid the bars/clubs like the plague though. Fist pumping haven.



As for the show-- I watched both episodes last week. Twice. They were pure gold. I made all of my friends watch too. MTV editing is great too; I think they realize it's a parody.

But yeah, as an Italian from Staten Island (2 of the people on the show are from here) ... it's pretty spot on. A little over the top, but on the south shore of Staten Island, this is really how people are. It's horrible.

Also...LOL at the sluts off the street who got naked in the hot tub. Yeah, I'm thinking to myself "what skanks" but the other, more realistic, side of my brain is thinking: "shit, I wish that were me."

Brigantine is my favorite beach the last few years. Very clean, not a lot of people, pretty, but there's none of that Jersey shore boardwalk entertainment shit. Which is fine, when I go to the beach I want to be on the beach.

Seriously people, get your asses to the Outer Banks sometime. Brew-Thru, 'nuff said. Jersey Shore is crap. My ex has a grandmother that lives there, and she's just as trashy as the rest of that place.

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Originally Posted by Rich

As for the show... But yeah, as an Italian from Staten Island (2 of the people on the show are from here) ... it's pretty spot on. A little over the top, but on the south shore of Staten Island, this is really how people are. It's horrible.

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I watched it and felt the same. Over-all spot on. The midget was a little over the top, so was the situation.

But the Guido half of the Italians I hung out with in Rochester were a lot like this… but with up-state accents. Their non-Guido relatives would all say "they're big on hygiene" LOL! I see getting your hair cut every two weeks could be called hygiene, but how the fuck is tanning and hair gel?? But I loved them.

Also, it basically broke down that if you were Italian, good looking, and Mom’s favorite, you were destined to be a Guido. If you weren’t, you acted normal. And the same applies here, if you’re Anglo, good looking, and Momma’s favorite, you dress and act like a Nashville Cowboy.

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Originally Posted by Cowutopia

I would bang every one of those filthy guidettes nine times.

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While the other half of the night, I'm bangin' em nine times!

Jersey/Guido class.

http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/a...1&d=1260383729

Foreplay isn't allowed in cinemania.

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Originally Posted by Shine

Seriously people, get your asses to the Outer Banks sometime. Brew-Thru, 'nuff said. Jersey Shore is crap. My ex has a grandmother that lives there, and she's just as trashy as the rest of that place.

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You're not supposed to live there. That's like saying Disneyworld is shit because your aunt lives in shitty Orlando. You drive to the shore for the day, you go swimming, ride some rollercoasters, play some arcade games or carnival games and maybe gamble a bit and go home.

Admittedly there are nicer beaches for just swimming, but the Jersey shore is fun for a day trip.

The more I watch this show, the more I realize I do know people like this, particularly the girls. I've never once seen a real person with that weird Pauly D spiked haircut and maybe I just insitinctively avoid those people, but the girls are starting to bring back memories of drunken Rutgers hookups and subsequent drama.

Guidettes are hot. If they didn't open their mouths, they'd be even better.

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Originally Posted by Rich

Guidettes are hot. If they didn't open their mouths, they'd be even better.

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Originally Posted by Brisco Bold

http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/a...chmentid=50438

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I can not wait for that episode! I fully expect a all out brouhaha!

Bitch prolly deserved it

When you come to the club, you better check that drama at the door!FIST PUMP!FIST PUMP!FIST PUMP!

FIST PUMP!FIST PUMP!

Show of the year imo.

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Originally Posted by FirstBlood

BABY BLUE I SEE YOU, TWO WEEKS

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I need to watch this show, just in the hopes that it reveals to me who, in fact, IS baby blue.
One of life's greatest mysteries.

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Originally Posted by Brisco Bold

Jersey/Guido class.

http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/a...1&d=1260383729

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The bitch shouldn't have worn a hat in the club. He was just removing it for her.

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Originally Posted by FirstBlood

I need to watch this show, just in the hopes that it reveals to me who, in fact, IS baby blue.
One of life's greatest mysteries.

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I've been to Djais.

It's the worst place of all time.

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Originally Posted by Shine

Putting aside our differing opinions on the Jersey Shore for a sec, when did MTV go from Music Television, to the give douchebags airtime television?

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I was looking through the channel lineup the other day and MTV (the original....not Latino, not any of the 5 million offshoots) was showing movies. All day. Not music. Movies.

I used to laugh at snickerspunch because i've never seen a woman get hit that hard other than my mom. Now I laugh because the guy's face before he punches her is fucking priceless.

Did the dude in the middle catch some of it on the nose too?

Definitely. I think he was just ordering a drink too.

http://jezebel.com/5427793/jersey-sh...kname/gallery/

<3 this show

As do I.

I haven't watched reality shows before really, but this show has made me start.

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Originally Posted by Hubbitron

I used to laugh at snickerspunch because i've never seen a woman get hit that hard other than my mom. Now I laugh because the guy's face before he punches her is fucking priceless.

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There's like oodles of hidden tragedy in this post.

Did the wtfpunch happen yet? I've dvr'd all the episodes but have only seen the first 2.

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Originally Posted by Chux

Did the wtfpunch happen yet?

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It won't.

Better be on the DVD.

that punch was well deserved, that fat bitch is so annoying.....even though those dudes were be lame asses and stealing shots

Who steals shots? He should know; it's probably part of the bro-code.

So yeah, the punch aired, they show him do the terminator windup then BAM BLACK.

Here's the problem, if you watch tv or read that dag gone internet, you've seen the punch. Why not just air it? FCC regs, advertisement bailouts? (I know this was discussed).

I have happened upon this show a couple times, and I cannot seem to pull myself away from it. It's complete and utter garbage but it's like crack... ugh.

I am right there with you dude, I hate it so much...but I have to watch more!

Healthy people eat McDonalds, and rational people watch Jersey Shore. It's entertainment in its most basic form; titties, booze, and fights. Even a few hundred years ago, the titties weren't real on stage: There were men underneath.

I love this show. I was going to post but figured I'd do a search first, glad I did. I heard about it on O&A and had to see it. Jerry Springer meets the Real World. Classic.

Snooki Street Fighter:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dccsF...atch-main-area

In the following episode to that punch she gets rushed by a hippopotamus. This show is so damn funny.

It's sad: I'd rather hang out with the people on Jersey Shore than on the Real World. The JS-crew may be douchey, but they're genuine about their beliefs, and extremely loyal. Also: Would have a better time.

Sammi's a bitch, btw, and Ronnie is too a nice a guy. She instigates a fight, he tries to diffuse the situation, she claims abuse, and then he has to take on two people. Wtf.

yeah but holy shit did he whoop that dude's ass or what! that dude is a fucking idiot to want to take on Ronnie's monstrous ass!

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Originally Posted by DumpTruck

that dude is a fucking idiot to want to take on Ronnie's monstrous ass!

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Ronnie is like 5'5"

have you seen that dude without a shirt on? he is solid muscle, he is a total beast

Ronnie doesn't open bouts with drunken windmill punches, though.

http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/a...1&d=1263155597

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Originally Posted by DumpTruck

have you seen that dude without a shirt on? he is solid muscle, he is a total beast

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Little man syndrome. He's jacked and he'd kick my ass but he's hardly a beast is all I'm saying.

dude Ronnie knocked that windmill throwin punk ass out

Total bitch move that windmill guy did. He was trying to hide behind his bitch ass girl and then sneak a punch in while he was dealing with her.

Guys, fight your own battles. Don't use your girl like a striker in KOF.

I would've knocked that bitch out then whopped up on that dude

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Originally Posted by DumpTruck

I would've knocked that bitch out then whopped up on that dude

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"Domestic violence!"

if she has the balls to get into the fight then she had best be ready to take a hit

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Originally Posted by DumpTruck

yeah but holy shit did he whoop that dude's ass or what! that dude is a fucking idiot to want to take on Ronnie's monstrous ass!

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Holmes got fucking handled dude. Ronnie wasn't taking no shit.

You can't rag on this show. It totally brings home the bacon!

snookie?

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Originally Posted by DumpTruck

snookie?

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did it all for the nookie

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Originally Posted by DumpTruck

if she has the balls to get into the fight then she had best be ready to take a hit

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"Domestic violence" is what the douchebag yelled at Ronnie when he pushed Sammie. Ronnie was in a no-win situation.

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Originally Posted by DumpTruck

snookie?

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Snickers.

I can't believe you guys are discussing this in a serious fashion. It's completely fabricated.

I can't believe you're not watching it.

I'm not watching it either.

Yeah, but you have Baltimore. You can just open the door and see something funny.

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Originally Posted by FuryFox

I can't believe you guys are discussing this in a serious fashion. It's completely fabricated.

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just because it's fake doesn't mean it can't be amazing

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/0..._n_410947.html

http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/a...1&d=1263355054

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Originally Posted by Josh

I'm not watching it either.

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Whose fault is that?

nice, would have been perfect if all the guido's from the show were on the character select screen... but still great nonetheless.

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Originally Posted by DumpTruck

have you seen that dude without a shirt on? he is solid muscle, he is a total beast

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The person I know who hits the hardest is not a big guy. In fact most muscleheads don't punch that hard at all because they lumber around. You have to have that quick explosive energy.

i know that, im just saying im sure that dude can take a hit pretty well since he is mostly solid

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Originally Posted by DumpTruck

i know that, im just saying im sure that dude can take a hit pretty well since he is mostly solid

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I could beat him with Dux-Ryu ken.

that's cool, i think I'd just go with a crowbar

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Originally Posted by Drewbacca

The person I know who hits the hardest is not a big guy. In fact most muscleheads don't punch that hard at all because they lumber around. You have to have that quick explosive energy.

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I think that's true only because most muscle heads probably don't know much about fighting or hitting. Stronger muscles = stronger everything. You can get big off stuff like HGH and not gain much strength, but if all that muscle is built naturally, you should be able to hit harder with proper technique.