Literally Will Blow Your Mind
I am no master of the English language--clearly--but few things irritate me more than misuse of the word "literally" in professional applications.
There are two common misuses of the word, both of which I've exemplified in the title and description of this thread.
- Using "literally" to describe something that is figurative, not literal.
Example: This concept will literally blow your mind.
Unless said concept is attached to the tip of a Tomahawk missile aimed at your head, it is unlikely to literally blow your mind or anything else.
- Using "literally" to emphasize a statement that could not possibly be construed as figurative in the first place.
Example: This is literally the worst thread you'll read all day.
"...the worst thread you'll read all day" is not a figurative statement and does not benefit from any clarification the word "literally" might add. This misuse is often implemented to exaggerate or emphasize a statement, using "literally" as an alternative for "really," "seriously," "actually," "honestly," or even "totally." If the statement isn't figurative in nature, use a different word for your hyperbole.
In casual conversation, misuse of "literally" does not bother me much. I'll poke fun at someone that makes the error, especially if it's misuse #1, but I do not get bothered by it--concerning myself with any matter of grammar in conversational language is stupid and, frankly, hypocritical. It is only in professional applications, where paid writers choose to misuse "literally," that I find the great offense.
And also humor. Perhaps as a way to deal with the pain and suffering of the misuse of the word, I've developed a special appreciation for the humor of especially heinous "literally" transgressions. From a magazine I read this morning...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sport Rider magazine
...his return [to the office] is literally icing on a pretty unbelievable cake.
Just a couple of sentences before that gem, he artfully executed misuse #2 with "...his columns in the magazine have continued to appear, from literally a few months after his accident." Not as stunning, but worth mentioning. It made the highlighted offense above even more enjoyable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by some talk radio advertisement
...our program will literally explode your income!
I wish I remembered the program/product associated with this one to bring proper shame on the culprits.
Now I'm asking you to kindly share the most disgusting, filthy, abhorrent abuses of the word "literally" you've discovered in professional applications. Name the perpetrators. Demand justice be served.
