Drakengard 3: ☆Gardendrak☆ TUTURU

and i guess all the other Drakengards if you want. It's the third game (fourth if you count Nier) in an awful but sometimes fascinating series, developed by the remnants of a dead developer, released by a company that's moving away from console games, so it's some kind of weird, deformed, terminally ill miracle baby with a condition that requires its caretaker to revive it with cpr every 20 minutes so it can live another few moments in constant pain

i can't find that many impressions, but this game is supposed to be bad, but at least two people in the entire world liked it so maybe it's a good terrible game.

Square Enix must've decided to keep the good-terrible theme running all the way to the methods of obtaining it. I pre-ordered it after they announced and made pre-orders available 4 months ago, and this morning they announced a CE:

http://25.media.tumblr.com/5b48c295d...k21o2_1280.jpg

limited to 5,000 copies

and the only way you can get it is through Square Enix's online store

which is run by Digital River

and it has a $79.99 price tag, shipping and tax are around $20 extra depending on where you live

On top of that, the only other way to get a physical copy of the game at all is to order through SE's store, and in another bizarre unfriendly twist, at least one pre-order bonus is only available if you pre-order by March 4th, and it's the Japanese track

Otherwise you'll have to get it digitally, and it's 36GB huge, so at the speed of Playstation Network you'll be getting it several months after release date, if at all, no matter which method you use to get it.



GOOD LUCK


LE and standard edition pre-ordered, so if DR's goons throw it in the right boat i might have an extra standard edition if anyone wants to avoid the hassle

I didn't like Drakengard 1 and 2 but I loved Nier. Should I bother checking out Drakengard 3?

Not many people are saying anything about it in English, so i don't actually know! Since it's Drakengard, it's probably more bad like Drakengard than bad like Nier though. Some people like that stuff.

This thing is like a miracle birth from a menopausal 50 year old drug addict. Nobody expected it, nobody wants it, and I'm pretty sure everything about the process of making, ordering, and playing this will be absolutely terrible.

Some people are pretty excited for it! Like 2 or 3 people on my Twitter feed are really happy! I WANTED IT! I WANTED THIS UGLY HORRIBLE BABY!

I read a while back that it was being released in NA to appeal to hardcore gamers

but it's actually for a really niche audience, especially with the way they're distributing it. They'd be appealing to as many or more of their fan base by releasing a new special edition of UNLIMITED saga

*wistful sigh*~ UNLIMITED saga....

http://www.the-nextlevel.com/tnl/att...1&d=1391649284

I would totally preorder the CE but I doubt I'll be able to. OH WELL.

I liked Nier. It was like having a really terrible job but getting to work with fun people.

Also, I like games that punish me for playing them.

I've never played any of the previous games but this looks cool aesthetically.

Not sure what to expect game play wise but I guess I'll wait for the reviews.

so why is this being sold only through the square store?

Why even pay for an english cast if it is going to have that bad of a release?

i can tell you that every review is going to be 5.2 and lower whether it's a good game or a terrible game

my head hurts trying to understand why square of all people is giving this such a limited release. Who does this? What the fuck!?!

Honestly i don't understand why they're releasing it at all, or at least why they're bothering to hire competent voice actors for it

$50 for a DLC-only game is $50 I won't be spending. I'd have been interested to pick it up retail, but not through SE's store as the only option.

James

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Originally Posted by James

$50 for a DLC-only game is $50 I won't be spending. I'd have been interested to pick it up retail, but not through SE's store as the only option.

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Complete agreement. If they puled a Namco and used Amazon as well, I would have been on this faster than you could say "Cool Japan".

Never again, Digital River. I mean it.

EVER.

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Originally Posted by George

This thing is like a miracle birth from a menopausal 50 year old drug addict. Nobody expected it, nobody wants it, and I'm pretty sure everything about the process of making, ordering, and playing this will be absolutely terrible.

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best post ever

I've played some pretty good miracle babies.

Yeah fuck this game. Not even interested in dealing with anything thru Digital River.

LE and PSVFFX/X2HD ordered.
They wanted $13 damn dollars for shipping the LE. So the add on was sort of worth it.
(free shipping on over $100.)

Oh, good idea.

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Originally Posted by Mzo

Oh, good idea.

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:wtf:

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Originally Posted by Some Stupid Japanese Name

LE and PSVFFX/X2HD ordered.
They wanted $13 damn dollars for shipping the LE. So the add on was sort of worth it.
(free shipping on over $100.)

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How is the Vita port of FFX/X2? I am interested but if it is BS I'll just get the Triple version.

I'm actually about to get both the CE of Drak 3 and CE of FF X/X2 HD IF SQUARE WILL RE-EMAIL ME MY PASSWORD FROM 5 YEARS AGO

is there any reason to get the CE of X/X2 ? the best I can tell is that I get some lithographs I don't care about and a nice OST blu ray that that will play music and images while I do the laundry.

That is probably not worth $40 more.

This is why I try to not buy games at release. There is this 12 year old nerd in me that NEEDS ALL OF THE GAMES AND THE BEST GAMES IN THE BEST CONDITION.

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Originally Posted by Fe 26

I'm actually about to get both the CE of Drak 3 and CE of FF X/X2 HD IF SQUARE WILL RE-EMAIL ME MY PASSWORD FROM 5 YEARS AGO

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Lol. Digital River customer service.

I'm tempted to drop the $100+ to get this stupid CE to Canada. But then I recall that I'm dealing with Digital River and that I don't even like Drakengard that much in the first place. Hopefully I can hold out until those stupid stupid timed pre-order things expire, then the feeling will pass because I won't be able to get The Whole Experience.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost...&postcount=660

:O 8-4 is localizing it!!! (that's who localized Nier as well! 8-4 is the best)

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Originally Posted by Finch

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost...&postcount=660

:O 8-4 is localizing it!!! (that's who localized Nier as well! 8-4 is the best)

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Guess that means it's time to update my PS3 to 500 Desubytes. Not a chance I'm buying a physical copy through Digital River!

ChaoofDrink: Take a shot every time he complains about Digital River.

I'm almost tempted to order a copy of the regular version but life says no, it's got better use for my money. Stupid world filled with awesome stuff that makes every day so much better than it would otherwise be...

James

And still no password

Thanks oboma.

Every other game should just cancel their pre-order bonuses, competition's over, we have a winner.

There's no beating A Giant Baby Hat for your Dragon.

So I either have o preorders, 1 preorder, or 2 preorders.
Sure would be helpful if they'd send an order confirmation...

Never let it be said that you guys don't set yourselves up for disappointment and rage.

but I love him.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Drakengard-3...item3cdc348e21
wtf.

so I thought I would give ordering this another shot. (I never got my password emailed to me again by square btw).

order page says that the CE is out of stock.

Fuck you square and fuck you Digital River

YEAH distribute those fucks with righteous fury, plant

yah chao but look http://www.siliconera.com/2014/03/04...re-order-bonus

i like what they did with the art style in the sister DLC... and i have no idea what they're doing with it
(probably just story scenes)

https://24.media.tumblr.com/531c79fe...k21o7_1280.jpg

http://www.siliconera.com/2014/02/27...uter-expected/

This is all such shames. I want to give it so much money, but I can't abide by Digital River, Morty. Th-th-th-they're not even human.

MORTY. WHAT WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN IF YOU ORDER FROM *BELCH* DIGITAL RIVER. THEY'LL LOSE YOUR ORDER, MORTY. MORTY DON'T YOU SEE. MORTY THEY'RE JUST GOING TO LOSE IT. THEY'LL THEY'LL JUST SEND IT TO SOMEONE ELSE, MORTY, PROBABLY SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T EVEN ORDER IT.

Aw jeez, Rick. I really wanted to..to play some games, you know?

Now available through Amazon!
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00J6DLPLK/

You probably won't get the pre-order DLC though.

I want to punch them in the fucking dick for making me miss out on the collectors edition. Fucking horrible website

Dude, I've been warning everybody to the point of irritation. Why would you give Digital River money for ANYTHING?

I want to support this being on Amazon. Is this game as Jankanese as I dream it is?

from what i hear, it has the jankest knees imaginable

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Originally Posted by George

This thing is like a miracle birth from a menopausal 50 year old drug addict. Nobody expected it, nobody wants it, and I'm pretty sure everything about the process of making, ordering, and playing this will be absolutely terrible.

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http://gawker.com/florida-woman-on-c...ium=socialflow

She named it Drakengard.

Excuse me George, you weren't supposed to bump this for a while so SOMEONE wouldn't notice SOMETHING

*Ahem* So. Um. they reopened orders for the LE a few weeks ago but it looks like they're out again

Dont take it personally Finch. There are problems at home.

i got this game 3 days before the release date (thanks digital river!) and it's ~ gloriously awful ~ . It's ugly as hell, the gameplay is shallow and despite looking like an upresed PS2 game (an ugly upresed PS2 game), it chugs and tears and falls to a frame by frame rate at inopportune times.

Even with that, it's actually fun to play. When it's not grinding to a halt, the main character Zero moves swiftly, and dodging and killin', all while matted in crusty blood just in case you're thinking it, they already beat you to that one, it's pretty satisfying. The dialog is really well-written, thanks to the 8-4 localization, and true to Cavia and Access Games pedigree, you don't know if the creators are partially just fucking with you or if the game is really just plagued with problems.

Worth finding a Let's Play where people don't goddamn talk over everything if you're a little interested, worth playing if you're really really interested, worth walking away if you're just going to be a donk about it (◡ ᴗ ◡ ✿)

There is also this really great Yoko Taro interview to go with it

I want to try it.

I got it because of how ridiculous Nier was, not because it's Drakengard.

Did you guys get any of the silly DLC?

$5 for moonspeak here! Step right up!

Someone tell me why this box has a blue band on it. My PS3 shelf is starting to look like a bunch of flattened VHSes at this point. Cohesion, Sony! C'mon!

I can't wait to plaay thiis but I need to finish Zone of the Enders, another Ode to Jank, first.

This looks pretty cool but I feel like I'd want to try the first two. Were they any good?

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Originally Posted by ChaoofNee

Someone tell me why this box has a blue band on it. My PS3 shelf is starting to look like a bunch of flattened VHSes at this point. Cohesion, Sony! C'mon!

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All new PS3 games look like PS4 games now. Deception IV was the first I saw like this.

Got the Drakengard 3 LE along with the FFX LE. I also want to play the older games first, though...

2 is the good kind of bad. If you enjoyed any Cavia game, you'll like this one.

1 is the bad kind of bad.

I always hear that 2 is the bad one with weird stuff that makes it interesting and that 1 is the mediocre one that's just boring.

Isn't 2 also the rather expensive one?

Hey, why is Sora in this game?

it's dito

and i don't want to give anything away about this game because you need to experience it yourself.

As bad as they're supposed to be, i'd buy the other two on PSN just so i could pretend to be the cool guy playing this for Drakengard, not for Nier. I don't think i would've appreciated them when they were released though

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Originally Posted by Finch

I always hear that 2 is the bad one with weird stuff that makes it interesting and that 1 is the mediocre one that's just boring.

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I thought it was the other way around, that 1 at least has an interesting plot while 2 is just mediocre all the way through.

Drakengard 3: ☆Trash☆

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Originally Posted by Sir Ilpalazzo

I thought it was the other way around, that 1 at least has an interesting plot while 2 is just mediocre all the way through.

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Shoot, that's what i meant! 1 is the good one that's really awful, 2 is the bad one that's kind of okay

The first Drakengard's story is Nier-levels of fucked up and grim if you can stomach the subpar gameplay. One of the bleakest games I've ever played, actually.

The second isn't particularly memorable.

I find this funny considering how much more expensive it is. Must be one of those "low print run" titles.

Maybe that's why Square passed it on to Ubi to publish stateside.

i beat Jankengard ending D yesterday and i loved all but three out of the 30-35 hours i played of it, those being where i had to grind to get the all weapons requirement. I like it as much as Nier, maybe a little bit more just because the release was so unlikely. Most people probably won't like it as much as i did
If you want the most out of it you have to read all of the little stories about the characters that were in the little red book (also on SE's drakengard site) and you have to go to ending D and beat the final boss for yourself, but tell me when you do because there's a video that'll help. It's really close to being impossible otherwise, just because of some real asshole trickery at the very end of it, and even difficult with it. It's the most difficult boss i have ever. had to fight. And you need to be in that state of near panic attack as the credits roll to get the full effect.

Is the story faced up like nier?

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Originally Posted by Fe 26

Is the story faced up like nier?

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Yeah, but in a different way. It's almost like an extreme parody of itself for like half the game

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Originally Posted by Fe 26

Is the story faced up like nier?

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I don't think Yoko Taro (the director responsible for Drakengard and Nier) is capable of making anything but grim, depressing games.

This is rad so far.